Sugar Daddys

Someone mentioned at the beginning of the thread that they would not have a SB that was a provider. I agree if that person had been a provider for a long time but I had a couple of new provider SB's that were amazing. I met them through an agency when they first started and after a few days working they realized this was not their cup of tea. I approached them and told them that they could do things in a different way by having only one customer that could take care of their needs. Both were students and were interested in finishing up their degrees and were scared of the damage of being caught as providers could do to their police record and future job applications. One was with me for a few months and had a visa problem and had to leave the US. I am still together with the other and it's been now almost 4 years. She is almost graduating and I don't know how much longer we will stay together after she gets her degree. I don't regret having them and if I would have no problem doing it all over again. I do have an issue with a lazy SB, I think that would equate with problems in the future. I want the relationship to be positive not only for me but for her as well. My SB works, has her own income plus she goes to school. I work around her schedule and she works around mine. We do see each other almost everyday and we enjoy every minute of it despite our age differences. Even though I know I will loose her, I am excited to know that when we part ways that she would be better off now than before.

I saw offers gents make. It`s horrible. I laugh at that. I`d have to keep 50 SDs a month for that kind of money, so I can right away be an escort , have less clients and more money ) (lol) Originally Posted by ninasastri

Well doesn't that statement simply support Gotyour6's premise that for many providers it would be difficult for them to become what a SD expects his SB to be and by extension prohibit them from really being a true SB?

I understand the counterpoints to the argument as well as the cause for defensiveness from providers but the non-monetary component to SD/SB dynamic is paramount to the definition of the relationship.
Its just a different mindset that's required by the parties involved to have than is present in a escort/client relationship. One that I believe would be difficult to coexist harmoniously for a woman if she was trying to be both.

I don't claim one situation is fundamentally superior to the other but just because they have elements in common I don't think that they are at all the same in practice or in the state of mind of those parties involved.

To me a good analogy would be the difference between fielding a line drive and juggling. Its possible to break it down so they have the same basic definition of catching a spherical object but in reality the mechanics involved in doing them is just fundamentally different.

Well, like everything else there are multiple types of relationships that go by that name. The Heff would be considered a sugar daddy and his girl(s) can pretty much live like queens, definitely not 20k-30k a year sort of lifestyles.

I understand looking for a girl who expects less, but there are plenty of guys running around the ritsy places in most major cities with "Trophy Wives" which are no more than glorified sugar babies in my humble opinion.

You can always appreciate walking around those towns, the women are so ridiculously tanned, large breasted, with full milfy lips... dear lord they are hot. Hmm, but a lot of their husbands are short, bald, heavy and 20 years older, how did this happen? Originally Posted by exoticdanceweardealer

Exactly.
I wanna be a trophy wife!! lol

I saw providers for two years before discovering the SD/SB world. Been here almost two years now. I saw and played with dozens of potential SB's....probably 40+. I approached every one with the hope that she'd be the right one. But there was always something missing.

Then I found her.

22 y/o. 5'9" Haitian/Creole mix. Model--yeah, I know...aren't they all? (except this one actually made it to the final cut on America's Next Top Model). Practically homeless....shares a bed with her sister and her two nephews. Met her and knew she was the one immediately. Why? Why is she, and this deal so different?

We met off of a SD site, but she has never asked me for money (ok....she's asked me for gas money twice, and for $88 for her mom's rent). That's it. But I've spent several thousand on her. Why? Because I want to.

We saw each other for 3 weeks before we slept together...and that was on a 5 day business trip that she accompanied me on. I'll see her 4-5 days a week....might just be for lunch, or a movie, or something like this....

Yesterday I took her to lunch and then to a well known salon for her hair and a manicure and pedicure. I'm sitting 10 feet away from her and hear this conversation between her and 4 other ladies:

Lady: So is that guy with you?

SB: Yes

Lady: Who is he?

SB: He's my boyfriend.

Lady: Girl....how old are you?

SB: I'm 22

Lady: How old is he?

SB: I think he's 60 (I let her have it later on this LOL...I'm only 58. And white!))

Lady: Well, does he take care of you?

SB: He treats me like a princess

Lady: Well Girl, if he makes you happy, you go Girl

And THAT is the difference! She glowed as she told those ladies she felt like a princess.....not an escort! I spent a couple hundred bucks on her......then took her back to her apartment. I didnt ask her or pressure her for a quickie to pay me back or "get my money's worth". All she did was throw her arms around my neck, kiss me, and tell me thank you. Still glowing.

This Friday we're going to a resort and will do nothing but spend the whole day in bed. But it's special, because we've got a relationship. I've bought her first flowers, her first non-hand-me-down jewelry. Took her shopping....not expensive stores, but a whole day shopping. When we got back to our room, she took a few minutes adding up all the receipts. She told me that she couldnt believe I'd spend that much money on her.

That's the difference.

All I have is my own experience with this. Not really knowing what I was doing I met an 18 yo girl that had been a provider and quit . I had this crush on her and we had a relationship where we talked every day and did lunch and dinner and I paid all of her expenses . She pitched me bc she didn't want to be tied down she said and went back to.escorting . Another J met on eccie and she was great . I cherished her. The deal was she was married, she escorted one night a week . She tracked the money.I gave her which she said was about 1500 a.month. I saw her 2 or 3 times a week for dinner and shopping. She got the princess treatment . I wanted more. Stupid me didn't realise what she wanted was a husband, some escort money, and a boyfriend that helped with paying.for the things she wanted. I broke theB cardinal rule: never press, never demand, never interfere with their life. I lost her.Later a.provider told me.you can't make a girlfriend out.of an escort. Maybe so. But I am.ready to.try again . Wiser. Less demanding . Not possessive . Realistic that I am just a fill.in the gaps guy and she gets.to.pick.the gaps and call.the shots. And above all...no puppy love.I like eccie girls so Ill keep.looking.here.

Well doesn't that statement simply support Gotyour6's premise that for many providers it would be difficult for them to become what a SD expects his SB to be and by extension prohibit them from really being a true SB?
Originally Posted by GBN94

I wholeheartedly support that notion.

I understand the counterpoints to the argument as well as the cause for defensiveness from providers but the non-monetary component to SD/SB dynamic is paramount to the definition of the relationship.
Its just a different mindset that's required by the parties involved to have than is present in a escort/client relationship. One that I believe would be difficult to coexist harmoniously for a woman if she was trying to be both.

. Originally Posted by GBN94

Well, I might add to this POV, that there is a non-monetary component also present in the standard escort-client relationship.

I think the escorting and being a SB is not really an exclusive dichotomy, much rather an evolvement from one to the other. It can shift. And it does.

Observation from me-
- comments from men trying to explain the positives/differences of the sd/sb;
- comments from ladies who do not seem to understand what the men are trying to explain.

WGAS- If you know, you get it!

Well, I might add to this POV, that there is a non-monetary component also present in the standard escort-client relationship.

I think the escorting and being a SB is not really an exclusive dichotomy, much rather an evolvement from one to the other. It can shift. And it does. Originally Posted by ninasastri

I don't disagree with that point. I can concede that there are providers that would be completely capable of changing as an individual so that they can leave that profession and carry out a real SB relationship. Its no less different than those who left it behind to become everyday wives or girlfriends. It would require time inbetween those stages though for it to be possible because a transition period to sort oneself out would be needed.

My point however was that for a woman to be both simultaneously and successfully would incredibly rare if not impossible. It would require a far deeper ability to compartmentalize yourself psychologically and emotionally than most people are able of doing. Its why so many men who have a history of being BD's stay clear of women who are trying to play both roles. They've had it play out before and their history with it has shown those experiments did not meet with their expectations of what they wanted out of the situation with those women.

This conversation will go on forever.

Please understand that men's definition of the SD/SB relationship will always vary. Just like all men don't have the capacity to be SugarDaddies, not all ladies have the capacity to be SugarBabies. And no, having the money to spend does not make you a candidate to be a lady's SD.

*Like Miss Hiddenrose, I believe that some guys are USERS, and looking for cheap pussy, and a way to catch wayward girls before they hit the strip club or become escorts. Yes, when you find yourself taking advantage of young girls who have no direction, paying the girl so you can have eye candy on your arm reduces her to being a cheap escort.

*Then there are some men that believe that being a SD is about LIFE mentorship. Not only are you helping this lady enjoy life in a way that she never would be able to without you, you also help her realize her dreams, and be on her way to not needing men, hence the suffix 'daddy'. A woman can never appreciate a man like that enough. That's why she rocks his socks off in bed.

Why spend a set amount of money on one lady? Because she's worth it. But variety is the spice of life to some guys, and that's okay too. That's what companions are here for.

I can understand feeling a companion can't be a SB given her capitalistic nature. But she wouldn't be a smart woman if she wasn't. You can't just lump us all into one category. Some companions ARE sugarbabies (myself included), and that aspect of who they are makes them better companions. They treat their clients well, and keep them coming back because they've set a bar towards expectations.

Granted, if you're talking about some thirsty young girl that has no idea about herself or what she wants out of life besides money, you're right. She should not be a SB.

But the same can be said for the guys preying on young women with no ambition. These men have no business being SD's at all.


My only issue is the call for exclusivity. The question of asking a lady to be exclusive is if it can be reciprocated or guaranteed. If the answer is no, then what I suggest you worry about is having a good time when you are in one another's presence.

OP - try this post. I think it'll answer most all of your questions.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=9404

Did not we have this conversation recently?

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=415876

Wasn't it Will Rogers who said, "not every Hooker is a Sugar Baby, but every Sugar Baby is a Hooker"

OK, Will Rogers never said that. But it's still the truth.

Observation from me-
- comments from men trying to explain the positives/differences of the sd/sb;
- comments from ladies who do not seem to understand what the men are trying to explain.

WGAS- If you know, you get it! Originally Posted by jframe2

Lets put this to an even clearer - humorous - equation:-)

notion a) on the men comes down to : less $$
notion b) on the women comes down to: more $$$$$$$$

Lets put this to an even clearer - humorous - equation:-)

notion a) on the men comes down to : less $$
notion b) on the women comes down to: more $$$$$$$$

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Haha Nina - caveat to notion b) more $$$$$$$$, less work

Ever played the "If I won the Lottery Game?"

I would make a list of the 10 most amazing providers in the world...Beginning with #1, I would offer her a 4-year, $1mil contract, payable in equal monthly installments, to be a full-time live in companion. Exclusivity required with limited exceptions. Either party may terminate with two-weeks advance notice. Other details negotiable.

I wonder how far down the list I'd have to go to find a taker.