For then men that might have missed the point...when you blush..PLEASE don't hide it. We LOVE it!!!
C xxxx
Originally Posted by Camille
... as if I could ... (blush)
Thank you, ladies. Thank you, Lauren. Thank you, Camille. Thank you, Nina Rae. What a great attitude! May each of you prosper wherever you go, whatever you do.
Going back to your original question, Lauren, I haven't run into that (yet); I'm really very new to the hobby. So far, the ladies I've sought out are people who are reasonably active on a local board. Those interactions, supplemented by the portions of reviews that I can see with non-paid memberships, have given me an encouraging first impression of each lady. So far, knock on wood (RSRD taps his knuckles on his skull), so good.
*shrug* Maybe it has also helped that I'm personally into "connection" -- and not just physical connection. So I meet her eyes, I ask her questions (non-intrusive questions, I hope!) about herself (because I want to get to know
her), I listen when she talks, and so forth. A person, meeting a person; not just a customer "interfacing with" a service provider. (RSRD shakes his head) "Impersonal," I'm not interested in. I'm already "handy" with "impersonal."
If
she prefers "impersonal" -- what then? I think my first thing is to find out why.
Is she unhappy doing this kind of work? (Then maybe every date with every man is likely to be impersonal. My big head says, "Bail." Would it win? Dunno, as yet. Forfeit the donation? Probably; I'm guessing that a lady with this attitude toward
every date wouldn't be on the high end of my range, anyway.)
Did she arrive in a bad mood, from things having nothing to do with me? (Then maybe rescheduling might be a good idea.* Or ...
maybe ... I might cheer her up enough to proceed. But I wouldn't guarantee that I could.)
*I don't do much traveling nowadays, and so far each lady has been a local. That does make scheduling and rescheduling easier!
Did I bum her out? (Then maybe we should quit before I make things worse. And, as a newbie, maybe I should see try to find out if I made some dumb mistake that I can prevent in the future (for example, failing to be freshly showered). Oh, and forfeit the donation, both as her PITA fee,* and to motivate me to retain the lesson I just got.)
*PITA: Pain In The Ass. A surcharge added to the fees of clients who are especially difficult. (Not unknown, let us say, in the sole-proprietor consulting world.)
To echo many others, Lauren, thanks for a thought-provoking question. It has stirred up a fascinating conversation!
-- RunSilent RunDeep