Seeing clearly that the majority here believes, rightly so, that no one could be this devoid of intelligence, I will suggest that perhaps the OP has another motive. Is it possible that he hasn't ponied up at all and that the post was a decoy to impress all the ladies here with his wherewithal so 'they'll come 'a runnin'?'
Originally Posted by JustCause
Late one Friday evening a 80 year old man and a buxom blonde 20-something walk into a jewelry store just before closing time. The Jeweler asks if he can be of any help.
The old man announces that he and his fiancee just got engaged and were there to buy her the best engagement ring in the store!
The Jeweler is clearly pleased and decides to close the store a little early and wait on the couple himself. Opening a bottle of wine and serving some to the couple, he seats them at his desk and comes back with a lovely ring with a $30,000 price tag.
The old man says "Nowhere NEAR big enough for my beautiful Fiancee!"
The Jeweler and the lady smile at each other...he returns shortly with a $100,000 ring.
The old man says, "Well, your getting closer anyway."
The Jeweler opens his safe and pulls out the best diamond solitaire in his store and announces that it was a quarter of a million dollars.
The old man says "Great! Well take it!"
The Jeweler and the young lady are both quite pleased.
The man then announces, "I know it's way past banking hours and you won't be able to verify my check, so I'll just make it out right now and when it clears the bank on Monday we'll be back for the ring." The Jeweler agrees and the happy couple leave for a night on the town.
Monday rolls around and the Jeweler calls the old man at home.
"You old SOB, the bank said that you've never had more than $100 in that account at any one time!! You KNEW that the check wouldn't clear when you wrote it!!!"
The old man replies, "Of course I knew it Sonny, now settle down and let me tell you about MY weekend!"