Discounts v. Tips v. Rates

So you only tip when other people tell you you're supposed to tip? Originally Posted by Doove

I tip when custom dictates a tip is warranted for a particular group of people and when the service warrants it.

Do you shave your privates before going to see the doctor? Do you shower, shave and brush your teeth prior to your meeting with your lawyer? I'm guessing, no.

I don't shave my privates for anyone. As for getting clean in all the ways you mentioned and more for doctors, lawyers and every one else, of course! Don't you?

My point is this. With doctors, lawyers, and even barbers, there is no such thing as YMMV. Or, at least, there shouldn't be. Either your doctor or lawyer is good, or she isn't. You are not likely to be treated differently based on a myriad of secondary factors. But in hobbying, where you are going to be treated differently based on a whole host of secondary factors - not the least of which is the mood of the provider 30 seconds prior to her opening the door for me - when i'm treated exceptionally, i think that should be rewarded beyond the standard rate for the standard service.

What do you mean there's no such thing as YMMV with other professional classes? That's nonsense!
As to the rest of this statement, that's your opinion and you're welcome to it.

Let me ask; have you ever benefited from extra time from a provider? If so, have you ever received any "freebies" from your doctor or lawyer?

No. Yes

Providers are not the same as doctors or lawyers. Or rather, maybe yours are, but mine aren't.

Never said they were but they are all a part of that group generally labeled Professionals and therefore, in my opinion, not part of the service groups that are customarily relying on tips.

In a bar/restaurant scenario, generally men are by far the best tippers. My son worked at La Bare in Houston for two weeks and was tipped an average of $10 for the best nights. He found out they were always hiring waitstaff because the tips were pathetic.

My two bros work out in Vegas as dealers. Again, average, men are by far the best tippers. Most women don't tip unless they win big or work in the industry. There's a famous story that went around there when Affleck/JLo were an item, Ben tipped a crap dealer crew $5K and JLo snatched it back.

My side business is a service industry business. Most time me and my crew don't get tipped. However, good looking women will get occasionally tipped. The most I've been tipped is $280 for 3-4 hours of work by a man. A black woman did tip my crew $100 each one time.

Share your opinion by all means, but trying to convince people to be less generous? When it isn't coming out of your pocket? Originally Posted by SillyGirl

You assume they're trying to convince other people, Silly Girl. Me thinks they're trying to convince themselves it's alright not to tip.

Let me ask; have you ever benefited from extra time from a provider? Originally Posted by Doove

No. Originally Posted by John Bull

Not surprised.

Then you could have, and probably should have, refused it. Did you? Originally Posted by Doove

Not that this is any of your business (is there a smiley for eyeballs rolling?), I did take it. It would have been very tackless for me to refuse it. I did however tell him that I would like to buy his next week's lunch so that he can think about me during his break and gave him $200 for lunch money. That was 3 years ago and we are still buddies. It's become our inside joke that he's docking his lunch money off my pay. As long as he's not dining at Per Se everyday, I'm happy to buy his lunch.

I
Now what I want to know is how many providers do "pro bono" work or agencies that encourage its associates to do pro bono work as a certain % of their billable hours Originally Posted by atlcomedy

It's not unheard of. Let's say a favorite patron is in town unexpectedly. I would gladly meet him for an impromptu dinner or drinks. It is very possible that things may naturally progress and we may end up somewhere private, like his room. And I have taken my regular clients out on their birthdays for a drink. It's not unlike the regular employment. There is a lot to be said about building a goodwill.

Victoria, when I hit the lottery: You, me and per se.

So, my dear ladies, how does one graciously and circumspectly thanks his date for an above average evening? Other than by seeing the lovely lady again and placing a "bonus" in her gift bag?

This enquiring mind wants to know.... Originally Posted by topguntex

The best way to show your appreciation is by expressing it.

Some of the words whispered to me by my dear friends...
"Thank you for being here."
"I love being with you."
"You make me feel better about yourself."
"You make me want to a better man because I want your approval."

If you are close to the lady, you can send flowers to her office on a random Tuesday.

It's not unheard of. Let's say a favorite patron is in town unexpectedly. I would gladly meet him for an impromptu dinner or drinks. It is very possible that things may naturally progress and we may end up somewhere private, like his room. And I have taken my regular clients out on their birthdays for a drink. It's not unlike the regular employment. There is a lot to be said about building a goodwill. Originally Posted by Lovely Victoria

I thought such conduct was against the Providers' Code of Ethics.

Then you could have, and probably should have, refused it. Did you? Originally Posted by Doove

Not that this is any of your business (is there a smiley for eyeballs rolling?), Originally Posted by Lovely Victoria

You brought it up.

I did take it. It would have been very tackless for me to refuse it.

If the idea of giving a tip to someone had the potential of leaving a bad taste in her mouth, i'd prefer she refuse it rather than accept it and feel negatively towards me because of it. Paying someone to like me is humbling enough, but paying someone to dislike me would be devastating!

If you'd have followed up initially by pointing out that you were put off by it at the outset, but the guy ultimately became a good client/friend of yours, that would have left a clearer picture of the transaction. Lacking that, you came across as someone who complained about someone's generosity while at the same time allowing yourself the benefit of it. I think that would be pretty tactless too.

Some women do tip, what is with the lumping on women do not tip.

Maybe its the young women I hang out with. We are in the customer service business. This business is very humbling. You get to see full on how people react to one another. I appreciate people who does things for me, that I could have done myself.

I tip the sweet lady who does my nails..she does so good I over tip. She does great service and does with a smile. When I break a nail being a goof ball which is all the time, she fixes it with no problem with a smile on her face. Verses the woman who didn't tip, nail broke and complaining and yelling.

I tip the waiter/waitress, I had the worst service ever, I tipped him 50 bucks, told him to put a smile on his face, and wished his day gets better. You just never know. I could have cooked and use my kitchen, but instead went out, I tip to say thanks, I didn't have to go through the doors to get my food from the cook, heck I tip because I was too lazy to cook that night.

I tip the bar tender, actually I over tip, and smile really pretty, so they will put extra vodka in my drink. We both were happy.

Providers and tipping. Providers should not ask, imho, you want more money raise your rates. If I lower my rates I will not expect him to tip more to balance out my original donation. Thats wishing on a dim star.

Its really nice when gents tip and I do appreciate it. Talk about a job done with a smile on my face the whole time.

The service providers give is highly intimate, for sure. But is it any more intimate than a doc poking around your insides or a lawyer poking around in your secrets? Originally Posted by John Bull

I defintiely see what a provider gives as much more intimate. With your lawyer or your doctor, you're being explored. With a provider, she is opening her body - and the really special women - open parts of their lives to you. To be authentic, she is giving parts of herself to you. My doctor is kind and competent, but I don't expect him to partake in my sexual fantasies or soothe my personal fears with his clothes off. Doing that takes a different kind of energy.

When you have a chance to consider it, can you see why someone would feel that the same degree of personal commitment and exchange doesn't apply to you to the other, less mutually intimate professions?

--as to the question about pro bono work - when my rates got a bit higher, I had a lower rate for a few men that did work I considered valuable - a scientist, a professor, a high school teacher...they were each very special men, with whom I am still friends. And of course, lunches and catching up with clients that I was close with now and again. I will say, there has never been one man that I have taken for lunch that didn't take care of unplanned behind closed doors activity per my posted fees....that respect for me as a woman and a provider is its own kind of currency.

Not that this is any of your business (is there a smiley for eyeballs rolling?), I did take it. It would have been very tackless for me to refuse it. I did however tell him that I would like to buy his next week's lunch so that he can think about me during his break and gave him $200 for lunch money. That was 3 years ago and we are still buddies. It's become our inside joke that he's docking his lunch money off my pay. As long as he's not dining at Per Se everyday, I'm happy to buy his lunch. Originally Posted by Lovely Victoria

Reading the later posts, I like that Victoria and her temporary beau made the "tip" or "lunch money" something fun and memorable. it is something that is special between the two of them. I think I'm jealous of that sort thing. It really is nice.

I believe $200 at per se is about the cost of a glass of wine. LOL

If you'd have followed up initially by pointing out that you were put off by it at the outset, but the guy ultimately became a good client/friend of yours, that would have left a clearer picture of the transaction. Lacking that, you came across as someone who complained about someone's generosity while at the same time allowing yourself the benefit of it. I think that would be pretty tactless too. Originally Posted by Doove

I don't recall complaining about the tip. Unless you think being put off is complaining. You simply did not get the context. I was put off by someone choosing to say thank you with cash after spending fantastic 8 hours together. Context is everything.

It's not unheard of. Let's say a favorite patron is in town unexpectedly. I would gladly meet him for an impromptu dinner or drinks. It is very possible that things may naturally progress and we may end up somewhere private, like his room. And I have taken my regular clients out on their birthdays for a drink. It's not unlike the regular employment. There is a lot to be said about building a goodwill. Originally Posted by Lovely Victoria

Victoria, do these situations ever get confusing for you? For ladies who insist they're being compensated for time/company (which is all of us), how do you start to distinguish certain times when your company is to be compensated, versus just going out as friends? I would wonder if it would be awkward to request/expect compensation for the next get-together after an earlier one had been off-the-clock.

Not that I've never done it. But it did get confusing.

Victoria, do these situations ever get confusing for you? For ladies who insist they're being compensated for time/company (which is all of us), how do you start to distinguish certain times when your company is to be compensated, versus just going out as friends? I would wonder if it would be awkward to request/expect compensation for the next get-together after an earlier one had been off-the-clock.

Not that I've never done it. But it did get confusing. Originally Posted by Natalie

Those impromptu meetings have never been confusing for me. But then again, these meetings have been with people that I'm very close with and have certain kind of understanding. In the first situation where I meet the patron for an impromptu meeting, the key is the meeting being "impromptu." And I found that the gentlemen always rewards for that spontaneity.