A question for Ladies that have been Mistresses/Sugar Babies and the guys that kept them

Ya know... I took the day off and cuddled up with the young lady that kinda made me start this thread.........

Didn't look at the board for about 8 hours..... told her I needed to run up to the office and check mail (actually needed some vitamins and a short break)

I come back to find my buddy Sixx with his head buried between the thighs of one lady while another rides him from behind with a strap on.....

As some of the kids tend to say......

Sixxx..... you been served........

Seriously though.... before I step off the bridge with another young lady and go apartment hunting....... I thought other shared experiences MIGHT remind of some of my experiences and help put everything into some perspective..... since the time I spend with her is not allowing me a lot of coherent thought......

Sixx... Go start a thread about HDHs, Internet Hookers, Agency Gals and SWs and the differences between them and we can have a lot of fun with it in another thread..... There's is not REAL difference between them after all other than Money Management Skills and Marketing Opportunities.....

Here... Lets get back on track.......

I'm too relaxed to go off on anyone today.....

Whispers, how many times do you have to mention that you buy young women apartments?? If it's true, great, good for you. Life is short and it's good to be happy. But any man who constantly mentions stuff like that, well, usually it's not true and theres an insecurity thing going on.

Sixx... Go start a thread about HDHs, Internet Hookers, Agency Gals and SWs and the differences between them ..... There's no REAL difference between them other than Money Management Skills and Marketing Opportunities..... Originally Posted by Whispers

No truer words have been written in this thread...However, money-managing skills do make a very large difference:

Girl A: Spends her money on shoes and booze and is willing to enter a life-changing arrangement for only a few hundred to one thousand dollars per month, simply to have her rent paid.

Girl B: On her game, won't entertain anything less than double what she makes on her own. Why should she? She lives a charmed life all on her own.

I don't begrudge anyone for their decisions. All I can say is I LOVE being a provider. I get to travel, meet interesting people and live life on my own terms. Plus I'm a pretty freaky gal who loves the sex, lol. Sugar daddies aren't going to allow their babes to be prostitutes...so fuck that! I wouldn't walk away from this until 1) someone offers me double of what I make as an escort or 2) I achieve my goals.

Choice 1 isn't very likely, so I will continue on my path until my personal timeline is satisfied. And truth be told, even when I do achieve my goal, I'll be an escort until I find a man who makes me want to be faithful!

Let's get back to the topic of the thread. If you can't stay on topic, I am going to start handing out points rather than closing the thread.


Spacemtn
AustinModStaff

A few years ago I had an arrangement...
He paid my rent & I let him use my incall every weekend so he could play with his SB.
It worked out perfect.

I've been in a few long term arrangements over the years...

The last one recently ended after 20 months as the result of her falling in love and getting pregnant with a young man that was aware of my having been "taking care" of her for most of the last 2 years.

The one before lasted just over 2 years, long enough for her to get an associates degree, meet a guy in school, fall in love and want to move on.

What was it that brought an end to it for you?

What could /would you do differently next time?

or would you simply never consider another one and if not why?

What were the really, really high points and positives of the relationships?

What were the real low points? Originally Posted by Whispers

Things got off topic here. My sugar daddy relationship ended because his wife found out what he was doing

There were no real high or low points. I found the entire thing quite draining. I wasn't getting paid that much money, actually I make much more and am better off escorting. Maybe if I had a super duper sugar daddy I'm talking anna nicole sugar daddy, then I'd be excited about the arrangement......

I will never seek out a sugar daddy again. They are rare. All the websites are loaded with freebie fishers who are too poor to pay an escort, so they seek out nieve women and try to scam them into free sex.

The sugar daddy thing was/is the doorway to escorting. I had no problems being paid for my time. But like someone mentioned earlier, I was using it as a bubble for my morality. I had no problems with what I did because I was having an "arrangement." I wasn't a hooker, oh no, not me. I was just a girl with a sugar daddy, nothing wrong with that. Talk about sugar coating your mind.....

Once I realized the truth, I was getting paid for sex and no matter which way you cut it, a spade is a spade. Only then was I able to nix this sugar daddy seeking behaviour and jump in with both feet to the more lucrative world of escorting.

There is another poster here, I won't say who he is because I don't know if thats allowed. (I'm still new here). Anyway, he wrote this big essay about being a sugar daddy. He bragged about meeting all these women for lunch, and then they would "blow him in the car in the parking lot." He went on to say you can get tons of free sex off the sugar baby sites because the women are desperate. He was giving the hobbyists here ideas. I'm sure they are all going to follow his advice too.

It made me sick to read his big proud essay. But can you imagine how all those women feel? I mean the ones who blew him for free? Here they are meeting this dude thinking it might be their saving grace all the while he has a hard on and thats all he's thinking about. He's not thinking about their needs or problems or kids. Then they blow him for free, which is a testament to their desperation, right, and then they never hear from him. So they go home empty handed AND feeling like shit. As if they didn't feel like shit to begin with. They feel like shit, thats why they're on the sugar daddy site trying to get someone to HELP them. Originally Posted by incognito isis

I don't mind saying I'm the poster you're referring to, or directing readers to the thread you mention:

"So you think you want a sugar baby?"

But I DO mind you not just distorting and mischaracterizing what I wrote, but flat-out lying about it. First, only one girl gave me a BJ in a parking lot after lunch. I made it clear to her from the very beginning -- that is, before the BJ -- that I didn't consider us a good SD-SB match (at 39 years-old, she was too old for me), but we did become friends and sex buddies and I wound up seeing her many times over a number of months. She was perfectly capable of making her own decisions, enjoyed my company, and she never asked for nor did I ever offer any allowance.

It's a complete falsehood to say I in any way stated or implied in the thread that guys should get free, one-time sex from "desperate" SB candidates -- in fact, I wrote a number of times in the thread that a SD should always give allowance to a girl he's considering to ask to be his SB and who he plays with.

I realize you're new here, and we should all cut you some slack. But you really should get your facts straight before you post if you want to have any credibility here.

Jon, you did state the following (below) in your essay. I'm glad that you've clarified (above) that the women all knew you weren't interested in them when you fooled around with them. (Although, I have no idea why a woman would fool around with a guy after being told he's not interested)

You did not state in your original essay that the one lady (who blew you) KNEW you weren't interested, so it leaves one to think you were just trying ot take advantage of these needy women.

I mean, I find it kind of odd that women are even on "sugar daddy" sites if all they need is a little attention. I was under the impression women went there seeking financial assistence, not flings. But hey, it takes all kinds.....



"And I learned the 30ish girls, most of them not far removed from bitter divorces, really crave attention and will play with you, if you are nice to them. One girl blew me in the parking lot after I met her the first time at lunch. Another one agreed to play as a condition of our first meet. So a guy, for the price of a membership to a SD-SB site, drinks and maybe lunch, and a room, could have a constant supply of pretty, willing, 30-something pussy. No joke. Hell, it might drive some providers out of business.n, you did say that."

incognito, your defense of your baseless comments is weak, at best. No wonder you wish to remain anonymous with the B.S. you spew.

Jon, you did state the following (below) in your essay. I'm glad that you've clarified (above) that the women all knew you weren't interested in them when you fooled around with them. (Although, I have no idea why a woman would fool around with a guy after being told he's not interested) Originally Posted by incognito isis

Again, you misquote me, so at this point I believe you may have a reading disability. I said I told the girls I was not interested in them AS A SUGAR BABY. I did NOT tell them I wasn't interested in them at all. Obviously, if I played with them, I was interested in them in another way -- as a friend and fuck buddy. I never saw a girl less than three times this way. And they enjoyed spending time with me, talking, and laughing, as well as dining, drinking, and going to movies, concerts, plays, etc., -- all for free. At times, they may have even enjoyed the good pounding I gave them.

You did not state in your original essay that the one lady (who blew you) KNEW you weren't interested, so it leaves one to think you were just trying ot take advantage of these needy women. Originally Posted by incognito isis

My "essay" also didn't say this woman (or any other woman I met) was "needy." You just made that up to suit your own purposes. There's also no way a thinking person can read my thread and conclude that by wining, dining, being attentive, and playing with the thirtysomething girls that's somehow "taking advantage of them." In fact, I may be completely clueless, but these recently-divorced girls seemed to have actually enjoyed spending time with me. I may be old and fat, but to the undiscerning woman I can be mildly interesting. You just applied your own messed-up values and age biases and read into what I wrote meanings that simply aren't there.

I mean, I find it kind of odd that women are even on "sugar daddy" sites if all they need is a little attention. I was under the impression women went there seeking financial assistence, not flings. But hey, it takes all kinds..... Originally Posted by incognito isis

Duh! Lots! About 90% of the SB profiles have the same type of caption: "I want to be spoiled." Some girls want only attention, some want only money, some want both. It's for them to decide, not for you to decide for them. Unless I missed the memo, you have not been elected evil queen of SD-SB land, and so far your campaign seems to be going poorly.

OK, keep the discussion free of personal attacks or the road to points will be opened. Both of you are on topic and it's an interesting discussion which doesn't need to be derailed.

LOL!! They are "needy" why do you think they are on the seeking arrangment site?? They are there for FINANCIAL assistance....but hey, if you were able to "shyster" in a few freebies from the recently divorced/bitter bunch -more power to ya. I remain annonymous just like YOU. The hipocrasy here!! Your sensitivity to all of this speaks volumes.

LOL!! They are "needy" why do you think they are on the seeking arrangment site?? They are there for FINANCIAL assistance....but hey, if you were able to "shyster" in a few freebies from the recently divorced/bitter bunch -more power to ya. I remain annonymous just like YOU. The hipocrasy here!! Your sensitivity to all of this speaks volumes. Originally Posted by incognito isis

You were obviously on a SD-SB web site because you can't earn enough money to survive by working and you wanted men to give you money instead. That's true of many of the young girls I met who want a hand-out rather than to work for a living. But I found the thirtysomething girls wanted companionship and to be treated well more than money. Many of them had high-paying careers, or settlements from their divorce. I think you let your personal prejudices get in the way of seeing that others may have motives different from yours.'

I've actually run into quite a few women who have a different idea of what a SB/SD relationship is.

One that I see not infrequently is the idea that they never want to be handed money. They have to like the guy, enjoy his company, and would really date the guy (or very close to that threshold), if they have unexpected needs that come up, they tap him for help - car breaks down, school loan doesn't come through, etc.. I generally avoid this situation because the unexpected comes up with increasing frequency, and there is no control valve other than to end it.

There have also been a few that saw SD/SB relationship as nothing different than a "normal" relationship with the exception that the SD can "afford to take her out". While it sounds ridiculous, there are women out there that have only had deadbeat SOs, unemployed BFs, (especially with young women) young BFs who couldn't afford more than dinner at Denny's once every couple of weeks. To these women, being able to have dinner where the napkin isn't made of paper, being able to go see a play, concert or a show without having to balance the monthly budget first is a luxury and a reason for them to seek a "sugar daddy". Problem is that most of these women are really looking for a rich or well-to-do boyfriend, maybe even a husband.

You were obviously on a SD-SB web site because you can't earn enough money to survive by working and you wanted men to give you money instead. That's true of many of the young girls I met who want a hand-out rather than to work for a living. But I found the thirtysomething girls wanted companionship and to be treated well more than money. Many of them had high-paying careers, or settlements from their divorce. I think you let your personal prejudices get in the way of seeing that others may have motives different from yours.' Originally Posted by ShysterJon

That's exactly what she sounds like man.... sounds like a bitter broad to me...

sixx

There have also been a few that saw SD/SB relationship as nothing different than a "normal" relationship with the exception that the SD can "afford to take her out". While it sounds ridiculous, there are women out there that have only had deadbeat SOs, unemployed BFs, (especially with young women) young BFs who couldn't afford more than dinner at Denny's once every couple of weeks. To these women, being able to have dinner where the napkin isn't made of paper, being able to go see a play, concert or a show without having to balance the monthly budget first is a luxury and a reason for them to seek a "sugar daddy". Originally Posted by Rand Al'Thor

There in lies a lot of reasons I have successful long term relationships with ladies for pennies compared to what others spend here and there for an hour or two....

Two different ladies I know are interested in West Side Story......

They will get mani/pedis and their hair done as well as a new outfit...... limo to Sullivans and dinner followed by the show and a limo back to the hotel..... we'll fuck before they get dressed... in the limo and spend the night and I won't hand either of the a dollar....

I solve little problems for them here and there and they solve mmy little problems as well...

But those nights will truly be GFE as I won't be giving either of them a buck....