Engaged Hobbyist - His fiance found out!

You want this discussion thought provoking & meaningful? Okay, here goes.

You messed up royally. Regardless if the guy claimed he was single, regardless if you met a woman and found out that you two had *someone in common*. You then find out that, THAT *someone* is a hobbyist you've seen. And you find out he's engaged.
You as a woman in this *adult* lifestyle, who's seen said hobbyist for 1 or 2 hours at a time via way of being paid. Does NOT give you the right to out him to her in any way shape or form. The engagement is off, due to your actions more so than his. Had you not of opened your mouth to her. then she would of been none the wiser in that regard and they would still be engaged. And frankly, you should be ashamed & embarrassed.

Men enjoy this hobby life for whatever reason, and WANT to do so w/o the stressful burden of a provider opening their mouth and outing them.
They pay for your time & companionship. Not for you to get involved with their S/O and rat on them.

And thus the ending.......you were irresponsible and caused an issue when an issue could have been avoided.
Don't blame the hobbyist for your actions.

That's my opinion.

Hello all,

I recently had a very unfortunate situation which has only convinced me that providing is not worth the time, stress, or money when it involves irresponsible and hurtful hobbyists. I absolutely love the hobby, because, as a single woman, I love to enjoy the company of a man.

This hobby has introduced me to married men, most of whom, are honest about their martial situation and have made a personal vow to keep our dates very discreet and secret. Of course, one or two hours of my time will never compensate 10, 20, 30 years that they have shared with their wives - so we have to make the best of it, we live in a fantasy for only an hour.

But for the first time ever, I had the experience becoming infatuated with a presumed (Single) man who, in reality, was to be engaged to his finance (who is now a very good friend of mine).

I will not illustrate how I met my hobbyist's fiance, but my heart sank when she showed me the number of the "so-called" practically married man. That number matched the number in my hobby phone. The finance had no clue that he was seeing a "provider" let alone a normal woman. I was so happy about a single man that I had been seeing on a regular basis, I could not help to tell this woman what his name and occupation was. I came to the finance, and the finance was never "looking for me" - It just happened.

The hobbyist and his finance are no longer together, but because of one person's lies, irresponsibility, and lack of respect, a marriage is ruined, a heart is broken, and I am eternally embarrassed and shameful. While this hobbyist was with his finance, he told her that he was faithful. While he was with me, he told me he was single! I would've had more respect for him if he told me the truth on his end!

HOBBYISTS, IF YOU HAVE A HAPPY HOME, PLEASE DONT RUIN IT OVER BS!
Remember, a dog never shits where it eats!

Providers, did your hobbyist's wife, finance, of GF ever find out about you? And how did you go about this?

Married hobbyists, are you always truthful to your providers? How do you go about hobbying if you are married!

Please, keep this thread to meaningful and thought provoking discussion! Originally Posted by AlluringExotic

Sex for money whether you are a provider or a hobbyist and dating don't mix. Period!

As a provider, I would never fall for a client. It's simply not an option. It's a business relationship.

I'll never understand providers who start to think they could date a hobbyist.

As a provider, if you're thinking you could date a hobb who PAYS YOU FOR SEX, something is wrong and you need to check your boundaries.

You are definitely looking for love in all the wrong places. Originally Posted by evietaylor

You mean that you didn't fall for me? What is going on with my je ne sais quoi?

totally out of line.


hobbists pay for your discretion and your time.

Yesterday I received a couple of emails from a client's email address asking me not to see him anymore signed from his 'lady'.

It really didn't make me feel good - and no, I won't contact him again.

PS The grammar, spelling and font color were different than he uses, so yes I think this is likely to be real.

I am glad you find this thread "entertaining", as you stated in post 31. But the fact is, you violated the number one rule of the "Hobby", that being, what goes on in the Hobby World stays in The Hobby World. You helped ruin a paying client's future. There is no excuse for this under any circumstance.

A Hobbyist marital status is none of your business, just as yours is none of his. In fact, nothing about his civilian life, or yours, is any of the others business.

Do you still have Verified Provider Status? If so, I hope the Mods strip you of this emmediatly, and tell you to hit the road. And then let every other Hobby Board on the internet know the situation.

I can't believe there are actually posters who are finding sympathy with your plight. Well, you can't cure stupid, and you are nothing but a stupid cunt. Period.

No need for the name calling, you can easily make your point without reverting to this, CC

What she did was inexcusable. She outed a client and that is a person that cannot be trusted.

Discretion is key in the hobby world.

To your reply and all the others above, I didn't view this hobbyist as a "client" but as a MAN that I had interest in since he saw me on a regular basis. Originally Posted by AlluringExotic

If you're being paid, part of what you're being paid for is discretion. Period. End of concept short of a grand jury subpoena. No "if"s "and"s or "but"s about it. You violated his trust in the most cruel and fundamental way possible. Period. End of argument.

Whether the hobbyist fucked up too -- and he did -- is completely irrelevant to how badly you fucked up. And you fucked up big time.

STOP RESORTING TO THE NAME CALLING OR I WILL GIVE OUT POINTS....
SHE IS YOUNG AND IT WASN''T DONE WITH MALICE. SHOW SOME ROOM FOR ERROR AND IF YOU CAN'T FORGIVE THEN SHUT UP.
SHE IS SORRY....FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

I didn't call anyone a liar. I said I had my doubts about the story and the way she told it.

And your the voice of reason? Originally Posted by simpleton

"I doubt her story is true" is not the same as "she's lying"? Hmmm.... Maybe I should go back and take remedial English.


As to my being the voice of reason, I don't think I ever made that claim. I am an opinionated individual who rarely sees the world monochromatically. In this case I see plenty of blame on both sides based upon what was described. It's hard for me to comment separately on "his" side of the story since it wasn't given here.

Your completely wrong here. He was still a customer and was paying the freight. She outed that dude! It makes no difference to me that the dude said he was single. Originally Posted by simpleton

Saying he's single is not the issue and I never said it was. I focused on whether the guy misrepresented himself as available for dating (single, married, polygimous, etc.) i.e. essentially trying to get free sessions--and IF that was the case he was a slime. Do you have an issue with that part? Do you condone lying to get freebies?

If you disagree with what I said, please dissagree with what I SAID. I also admitted the OP was unclear and my interpretation could be wrong.

STOP RESORTING TO THE NAME CALLING OR I WILL GIVE OUT POINTS....
SHE IS YOUNG AND IT WASN''T DONE WITH MALICE. SHOW SOME ROOM FOR ERROR AND IF YOU CAN'T FORGIVE THEN SHUT UP.
SHE IS SORRY....FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Originally Posted by Anita Lay

I know I said I was done with this thread...
and I find common cause with you a lot Anita... <3

But in this instance I must disagree. A murderer might feel guilt afterward, but he still committed murder. She might very well feel bad; she might not have meant to screw to the pooch, but the little pooch is still preggers, and someone has to pay for the abortion! (Alright, enough stupid analogies.)

Like most here, I feel like her reckless actions and lack of discretion directly ruined a client's engagement, and that is 100% unacceptable in our world. This kind of drama is why a good chunk of us are into this hobby instead of picking up random strangers at bars: discretion. We know that there won't be any backlash tomorrow from the provider's end. We pay for that peace of mind.

Obviously, this did not happen in this case. This is unforgivable IMO. I would never knowingly accept service from a provider with this in her history or anyone that rationalizes it's only a mistake. If a provider thinks it's only a mistake if she screwed up my life and could move on, I'll pass and stick to the providers that consider discretion the core of the hobby.

Don't get all personal with me sketchy ball....
Anytime TWO PEOPLE deal and dance with the devil that both are to blame.
But most act like SHE IS ALL TO BLAME.
Men and women cheat all the damn time and some are still married. Fucking and loving are two different things.
I think pl are being WAY TOOO HARSH... just saying.
Didn't say she wasn't innocent...
Are you sexually frustrated and need me to rub your ball?
you are not done yet cuz you fucking with me baby...

Are you some kind of Moderator?

HELL NO.... I was joking because there was some serious name calling... words like Bitch... some ppl know I joke around ....
I can moderate YOU.. I will give points for good behaviour

Don't get all personal with me sketchy ball....
Anytime TWO PEOPLE deal and dance with the devil that both are to blame.
But most act like SHE IS ALL TO BLAME.
Men and women cheat all the damn time and some are still married. Fucking and loving are two different things.
I think pl are being WAY TOOO HARSH... just saying.
Didn't say she wasn't innocent...
Are you sexually frustrated and need me to rub your ball?
you are not done yet cuz you fucking with me baby... Originally Posted by Anita Lay

I'm not trying to get personal with you hon. I actually like you a lot and look forward to your posts.

I have no doubt that words were said behind closed doors between them complicates the situation, but all I see is a possible future of mine: A provider I've gotten friendly with and visit often decides to disclose our relationship to my wife!! While we have a don't ask/don't tell type of relationship, the shit would hit the fan fast if a provider accosted my wife with this stuff. I'm just trying to look at it from my point of view. Frankly, I wouldn't care what pillow talk happened, or what was said between us. If the provider messes with my personal life, time to go all Soprano's up on her ass.

was this thread worthwhile starting?