Would You Date A Hobbyist/Provider?

carguy ...i see something diffent in two diff post on this board put 2 and 2 together
and i sorry but something in diffent lady posting i just put together that is just me
and i am not trying to hurt her but want make sure that i am talking to the person and on the right post.

If I were to see a provider socially I could not expect her to stop providing for herself and her family. Unless I was able and willing to and she was willing to have me take care of her needs. If I could not see past that then there would be a good chance that I would mess up any good thing I had with the provider. Finding someone that you connect with (either temp or a more perm basis) is so hard these days.

My last relationship ended badly. I lost my beach house and my porsche. She did not even like the boat and I lost that too.

I have been told by a guy before that I am considered "used goods" and not dating material. Originally Posted by Malaya

Are you kidding me? That is probably the most hurtful thing I have ever read. I hope that after he picked himself up off the floor from you pushing him down he never bothered you again.

wow you still dont get it Originally Posted by carguy2442

Nope

This seems to becomming a pattern.

Malaya, you know my feelings on the matter. I live this question every day. And yes you will get all kinds of answers and opinions on the matter. As Nikki said plenty of people live in the swinger lifestyle and have great relationships. It can work. But the keys as mentioned are communication, trust, and respect. And of course it's a two way street. If you want to be in a relationship and be a provider then it must go two ways.

No relationship is easy and it takes work. But you seem to have your priorities straight and that's the best start to a good relationship. Good luck and have fun ! Originally Posted by Naughty_Jezabelle

Jez, that was a great answer to what she had originally asked. I think it was anyway, I've gotten confused about what the original topic was now... : )

Are you kidding me? That is probably the most hurtful thing I have ever read. I hope that after he picked himself up off the floor from you pushing him down he never bothered you again. Originally Posted by jason2130

No kidding! I hope she at least let him have it verbally. An ass like that might go all crazy on her if she pushed him.

I would now, Don't think so when I was younger... I think the world opens up allot more after you turn 40, you become allot more philosophical and realize how short life really is.... sex is sex, true chemistry and love are totally different from sex...

You know Mayala I've been thinking about this topic for some time now. And I've decided that I'm a hypocrite lol.

On one hand I'd like to think that with honesty, open communication, respect and mutual feelings it shouldn't matter. If he's good enough for you and cares for you it wouldn't matter what you do. If you're happy doing what you're doing that should be enough for him because you're happy..

But on the other hand. The guilt would eat me alive. I'm naturally very faithful and loyal.

It does work with swingers but I think it works for them because its a different arrangement. $ changes everything.

So it really comes down to you and him. I wish you the best of luck. Most of all I hope you stay happy no matter what.

If they were ok with the provider deal, then yes, I would be with them....There has been too many times with a couple men that wants me all to themselves and tell me that they want me all to themselves, knowing what I do.....and they tell me to stop providing... I dont think so! I love what I do.. Theyre wonderful, but yet, accept me for who I am and what I do.

Nope. Tried. Won't.

I understand communication, respect, trust, and have made it to a philosophical age.

But if my lady friend or provider SO had a favorite that she a absolutely loved to fck, and came home with a 'rode hard a put away wet look' it would drive me nuts. I do not think my ego would allow me to be a cuckcold.

Unfortunately, what Providence didn't provide in length or girth, was added to my ego. I am too competitive to let it go and it would eat away at trust, respect, and denigrate conversation.

This is a personal fault, one that I recognize, and daily work to dial down. But if I were in a relationship that personally affected my ego, it would not work for long.

Dogg

Yes I would and I have. What everyone needs to remember is how you met. You meet as a provider and a hobbyist and over time a friendship developes. Sometimes it can move on to something more and when that happens you should feel extremely fortunate. IMO the killer of any relationship is jealously. If the provider decides to quit provding then that is entirely her call but if the hobbyist demands it then that relationship is over.

...I have been told by a guy before that I am considered "used goods" and not dating material... Originally Posted by Malaya

A pathetic attempt by some loser to break down your self-esteem and manipulate you.

Yes. I would.

Date, casually why not, hell I'm already sleeping with her why not. Not exclusive and not serious though. Wouldn't change my current situation for a provider. It's doomed if it get's serious because doubts will always creep in on both sides if it ever got exclusive. Ones selling herself for sex, the other is paying for sex. How could there ever be trust. Of course this opinion comes from a traditionalist not someone who believes in swinging, open marriage etc.. so it might work for two people who go that way.

Interesting to say......................How would you know when you were cheating? Things could be very interesting............:thumbs up: except maybe to leave the drama at the door!

malya...oh ok ..i saw it diffent side than you did....how it come off from that other post.. spring in the air... Originally Posted by foxyred73

Malaya...thank you opening up about your feelings about you....you can think your friend helping you from another post that she wrote on the board about another post on welfare and wrote something about a girl and i think is about you.

fyi if you like someone in the hobby dont be open about your feelings
just in case doen't work out. Originally Posted by foxyred73

I was just seeing things diff in my eyes...than any body else....malaya Originally Posted by foxyred73

I am sorry that no nobody stayed on topic and she doent need to open herself up that much with she stong statments when she is comfort someone special in her life when she going to date someone .

i wish here the best of luck with here new man in her life


there is a diffent in standing up for yourself and protecting your bus nothing personal . Originally Posted by foxyred73

carguy ...i see something diffent in two diff post on this board put 2 and 2 together
and i sorry but something in diffent lady posting i just put together that is just me
and i am not trying to hurt her but want make sure that i am talking to the person and on the right post. Originally Posted by foxyred73

You seem to enjoy making assumptions (not necessarily coherent one's, it takes many reads to come close to understanding your point) that upset the ops in your posts. Maybe it's not your intent, maybe it is. In either case you should probably read your post before sending it for all to see.