he might be just coming in as a guest to read the thread and not signing-in through his account too....
and hope your birthday is going well...
I have not hobbied for a while, but I was bored one night and decided to venture back into the hobby. After a couple of "shots" I found a nice young girl who has become a regular for me this last 2 months.
I have kept it very discrete, she only knows me by my first name, she doesn't know where I work or even what I do. She has no idea about my SO, but she knows I have children. When I visit, I go in my Nissan, and I dress down (way down.)
So I go for my weekly "poker night" and she tells me she thinks she is pregnant. Guess whose baby she thinks it is? This is not my first carnival, and I am of course skeptical and suspicious. (I had a regular about five years ago who also told me she was pregnant after about a year that I had been seeing her. She eventually slipped up and I stopped seeing her.) The problem is that this time I am 90% sure it is probably mine (but not yet 100%). I checked the dates against her calendar and I don't think she is lying. There are also some other little subtle things, that put together, make me think that it is mine.
She hasn't asked for money and I haven't promised to give her anything. In Texas, for a child support claim a DNA test is necessary, so I have about 8 more months to figure out what to do. I am very tempted to just walk away from the whole thing, I don't think she could find me if I never saw her again. The only other thing she might know is my car's license plate. BUT....
As I said, I am about 90% sure it is mine. I hate to walk away from the possibility that it is my child. A DNA test is the only way to know 100%, but then she can sue for child support once we knew for sure.
Is there an anonymous way to conduct a DNA test? I am also concerned about child support and birth certificate data. I would adopt the child in a second if it was mine, but SO may not like that idea. SO would definitely find out about child support, but would she know if my name appeared on a birth certificate?
She was very indifferent about the whole thing, she does have one other child which her mom raises (she lives with mom and dad). I suspect she really doesn't care whether I am in the baby's life or not. I think she would let me keep the child (if I could). I think the child would be ok with her parents as well.
I know this got long and rambles a little, it is a lot to think about. Any insight from either side would be appreciated as well as any legal pointers on child support and responsibility. Originally Posted by CowboyJohn
I am using her post as an impetus to just shed light on the dichotomy between our moral ideals and actions that reveal our true selves. Originally Posted by Skip_8But most of those that make up the community do not want to think about THEIR moral compass. If they can pass judgement on THIS guy they can probably feel a little better about the evil they do themselves.
This is going to sound all kinds of fucked up. And it honestly not what I would personally do. But from what I have learned in this hobby. From my bottom rung and on up. The girl was getting paid for a service. It was her responsiblity to keep herself from getting knocked up. To me... it seems like maybe she meant to get preggo. Now I don't know anything about this girl. And I realize that on a few higher levels of the hobby. The people involved develope feelings. So her motives could be anything from a quick payday to hogtying the thread starter. Who knows? But I would bet that she stopped taking the pill or stopped using her birth control method. I don't know what I would do in your situation. The fact is I would not be in your situation. For a number of reason. Not the least being that I don't play around when I have a sig other. Hobby wise... you're in the clear. She messed up. But morally... I think you need to see this thru. No matter what the risks are. That is just my opinion. By the way... all of this might have already been stated. I read the first few things. Scrolled thru to read what the guy had wrote that asked me to check this out. Read a few after his. Then decided to put in my 13 cents. Originally Posted by SpyderToezzzzYeah, you were right. That did sound ALL kinds of fucked up. You're saying that he didn't have a responsibility to put a condom on with a hooker? Is that REALLY what you're saying? So okay, let's spin this around. She's not pregnant, she gave him HIV. Now who's fault would that be? I guess it would be hers too, right? Everyone is responsible for his or her own self. Not the other way around. I bet you're never the blame for what happens to you.

Yeah, you were right. That did sound ALL kinds of fucked up. You're saying that he didn't have a responsibility to put a condom on with a hooker? Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson
You still see married men, right? Yet you are essentially clamoring for him to do the responsible thing.
Is that REALLY what you're saying? Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson
So okay, let's spin this around. She's not pregnant, she gave him HIV. Now who's fault would that be? I guess it would be hers too, right? Everyone is responsible for his or her own self. Not the other way around. I bet you're never the blame for what happens to you.If she knowingly gave him HIV then yes it would be her fault.
FYI, I haven't been on birth control except for condoms in 12 years. And no I haven't been pregnant since. Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson
Lots of good responses on here I agree we are responsibile for what happens.. I have gotten pregnant using condoms and I was on birth control too and got pregnant lol. Sucks but it happens. I would not agree about her getting an abortion it is not the baby's fault so hope she doesnt kill her baby.. I wish bith parties the best of luck.. I would hate to be in that situation but thank god im fixxed lol.. Originally Posted by mirandaleeI love you! Seriously! I love knowing there are people like me that hate abortion as much as I do!
Yeah, you were right. That did sound ALL kinds of fucked up. You're saying that he didn't have a responsibility to put a condom on with a hooker? Is that REALLY what you're saying? So okay, let's spin this around. She's not pregnant, she gave him HIV. Now who's fault would that be? I guess it would be hers too, right? Everyone is responsible for his or her own self. Not the other way around. I bet you're never the blame for what happens to you.Why do you have to take a personal jab at me? This thread is not about me. I just merely stated what I believed to be true. I suppose selective reading is something people suffer from. Fortunately for me it is all there for you to go back and read. I stated that I would not be in that situation. I wrote about his moral responsiblity.But did you address any of that. No. You focused on the negative. I am just going to assume that the bad stuff I wrote upset you so much that your emotional side took over. Causing you to miss some very important things that I wrote.
FYI, I haven't been on birth control except for condoms in 12 years. And no I haven't been pregnant since.
It's always much easier to say what we would do...when we're not in his situation...it's a noble idea, at best!. You don't think...that if someone here made a foolish decision...that could be the cause of your entire family to be collateral damage...that you wouldn't at least...THINK...of a way out FIRST?A friend had the same thing happen recently. It's almost a Maury scenario he's 40+, divorced and kids in college ... 2 potential baby-daddies in contention. She didn't ask for anything but thought he would like to know. He and I talked for awhile and 3 jack and cokes later he came up with this beauty --- if he were the soon to be kid what would he want the "sperm donor" to do???? He surmised he wouldn't want to ruin anyone's life, but he would want as good of a fighting chance as anybody for a successful life - even if that only meant child support and both parent's name on his birth certificate. He's dark-skinned Puerto-Rican, she and her hubby are light-skinned anglo ... guess we'll know in 6 months.
Originally Posted by Likinikki
I'm sorry for the child that has a father and a mother that are careless and is coming into this world not knowing if he is wanted by either...place the child for adoption with kind caring people who are not able to be careless... Originally Posted by italiaYes, we all feel sorry for the child, such innocence.
...why do humans not think of the possibilities and other parties involved??? I'm just saying Originally Posted by italiaVery good question but a dangerous one to ask.