ROVER14 get over yourself and .... BLONDE jokes!

Guess I lost Ginger....

Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.'' Originally Posted by Still Looking

Nope here I am... sadly. Insomnia blegh.
Nice math there SL pm me and we can further lower it tee hee hee. Rover has a face pic ( or 30 )

Blonde joke...

( I mentioned the words to avoid derailing the thread! ) does that count?

SonofaBits...Rover, damnit, if I get into trubble, it's YOUR fault...



A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog..

It's been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
and she storms down the stairs

A few hours later the blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says,
"The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"

To which she replies,
"I put the dog in OUR backyard, let's see how THEY like it!"


.

.

Nope here I am... sadly. Insomnia blegh.
Nice math there SL pm me and we can further lower it tee hee hee. Rover has a face pic ( or 30 )

Blonde joke...

( I mentioned the words to avoid derailing the thread! ) does that count? Originally Posted by Ginger Lovelace

BINGO!

What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

If you PM a provider to meet her and she sends you this... is this good or bad?

I guess that depends on what you said in the pm.
She's gonna slamdango your ass,SL! rotflmao

How do blonde braincells die?
Alone...

Two blondes walk into a bar....the brunette ducks.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Place a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool.

I guess that depends on what you said in the pm.
She's gonna slamdango your ass,SL! rotflmao Originally Posted by joesnapshot

Are you saying I'm in over my head? Wait a minute I like head!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

I think you're gonna feel cheap and used.....just the way you like to!

What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
All you can eat, under a buck.

A blonde decides to do something she hasn't done before, and goes to the video store to rent her first X-rated adult video. After looking around the store, she selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment there's nothing but static on the screen. She calls the store to complain stating, ""I just rented an adult movie from you and there is nothing on the tape but static."" The clerk apologized about the defective video and asked, ""Which title did you rent?"" The blonde replied, ""It's called 'Head Cleaner.'""

A blonde decides to do something she hasn't done before, and goes to the video store to rent her first X-rated adult video. After looking around the store, she selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment there's nothing but static on the screen. She calls the store to complain stating, ""I just rented an adult movie from you and there is nothing on the tape but static."" The clerk apologized about the defective video and asked, ""Which title did you rent?"" The blonde replied, ""It's called 'Head Cleaner.'"" Originally Posted by dennisrn

rotfl! Good one, dennis!

What do you call it when one blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
Data transfer! badda bum*!

Good one Dennis. It won't be too long until we'll have to explain that one to college-aged kids though... It sucks to get old!

A blonde is frustrated because her boyfriend has horrible dandruff. She complains to her brunette friend who suggests that she just try giving him some Head and Shoulders. The blonde asks, "How do you give shoulders?"

...

How do blonde braincells die?
Alone... Originally Posted by joesnapshot

Too f*@king funny!

SL, thank you for dumping on me with this thread. I haven't had this good a laugh in a long time. There are some good ones in here. Keep them coming!



It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a Beer.
Advantage: Pussy

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: Beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: Beer.

Pussy can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy

The government taxes Beer
Advantage: Pussy

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

There was a fly looking at some food in a river. The fly thought, "If I go down, I can get the food!"

There was a fish looking at the fly. The fish thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, I can get the fly!"

There was a bear looking at the fish. The bear thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, and that fish comes up to get the fly, I can get the fish!"

There was a man looking at the bear. The man thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, and the bear gets the fish, I can shoot the bear!"

There was a mouse looking at the man. The mouse thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, and the man shoots the bear, I can get the man's sandwich!"

There was a cat looking at the mouse. The cat thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, the man shoots the bear, and the mouse gets the sandwich, I can get the mouse!"

So the fly goes down to get the food. The fish comes up and gets the fly. The bear swipes his mighty paw and gets the fish. The man shoots the bear. The mouse runs for the man's sandwich. The cat lunges for the mouse, misses, and falls in the river.

What's the moral of the story?

When the fly goes down, the pussy gets wet

Rover and SL comedy act... lol