Have you ever fallen for a client?

Lust is a purely physical attraction. I think for the clients who are seeking a provider to meet their strictly physical needs, than lusting after one another is great!

I view love as a great, beautiful thing, intensifying sexual experiences. The closer I get to the feeling of love, the better the sex feels. I don't consider falling in love an accident. I look at it as something I will enjoy the entire time, and if/when it ends, well every minute I felt great was worth it.

Why overpower emotions and withdraw any possibility at love? It's ok for people to love. Especially if both people know their place. I am not going to marry you. You are not going to marry me. We aren't going to end up together. But we are going to love every minute of our time together, may it be lusting after one another physically, challenging one another mentally, complimenting one another verbally, or demonstrating love through acts of kindness and sincerity regardless of differences. I think a true love is unconditional, a good rule of thumb is… would you still see each other after a falling out, and if the answer is yes, it might be love. Yes, it might be because of money. But yet, it also might be because of non-financial reasons. I wear my heart on my sleeve every day. I don't get hurt though, because when a person no longer wants to see me, I'm ok with that. I love every minute and when the time comes to close a chapter and open another, well that's life. Relationships, business or personal, don't have to end ugly. They end ugly because one or both parties involved aren't mature enough to accept a potential reality and plan ahead. Yes, our relationship may end one day, let's not trick ourselves into believing this will last forever. Reality has it that this will most likely come to an end, and let's discuss the best way to end it when that time does come.

I think if the relationship begins as a fairy tale, then it won't work because it was a fake. The more you can be true to yourself from the very beginning, and just be who you are without putting on any fronts, the easier and longer lasting I think a relationship would be. May it be in a business, or personal, relationship.

Pfmtony said it best, if you can't fall for me during our time together, I don't want to see you.

Expectations are what cause relationships to fail. By only expressing love, the rest should be easy. If we worried more about ourselves and less about others, being the best person we can be instead of telling others how we think they should be, the world would be a happier place. I don't think a relationship requires one on one commitment to be happy. I don't think both people should sleep around either. I think each partner should respect the choice the other person makes. And if they don't like the choice, they can go away. Kind of like… you either like me or you don't, and this is who I am. I hope to have you in my life, but if you think it's a bad idea, well that's your choice to make. I won't beg you to stay.

So to answer the question asked by the OP, yes I've fallen for a client before, I'm okay with love, I'm not afraid of it, I don't run from it, I don't try to dodge it, I grasp it because I love how it makes me feel.

I agree with TinMan, If you truly care for the other party, you will respect that boundaries must exist, and do your best not to take advantage of the situation. The same can be said for relationships outside the hobby, for that matter.

To me, love does not give ultimatums. Saying, "If this, then you'll do that..." that isn't love. Love is something you do. Love is something you give. You cannot demand love of a person. You can love them enough to motivate them to love you back. I believe giving someone an ultimatum is the best way to lose a great thing. Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

THIS...

Ask yourself this question:

Why do we put ourselves in situations to find love everywhere?

Even in High School (If you dated), I think a lot of us pondered the possibility that we could meet the love of our lives in high school or in college and end up marrying our sweethearts.

In reality . . .

Staying with your High School Sweetheart sounded like a myth. In a way, finding the love of your life in the hobby world seems like a myth as well. Both situations seemed to be difficult and somewhat impossible because our parents, friends, and peers told us that these things simply don't work.

But do you remember the story of grandpa or grandma that met when they were in middle school and stayed together for the rest of their lives in (perpetual) bliss? Well, thats the fantasy you fell in love with and wanted in your life.

But, as you get older, you realize that life is not meant to be the way to seek out every opportunity to fall in love. Most people fall in love with the thought of love anyway. Most people fall in love without even looking for it.

As a provider, it is so easy to end up falling in love with the thought of being in a wonderful relationship because we deal with the (carnal) side of men that lack emotion, empathy, and a connection. We women are naturally made to "connect" and "hold on" to our feelings (like a vagina holds onto objects), whilst a man can go through life detached and unaffected - he inserts himself in or out of the situation (like a penis).

So ask yourself,

Are you in love with this man?
Or are you in love with the concept of falling in love with A man?

I also will say, that it would be easier for a man (in the hobby) to find love in the outside world and eventually marry. For a woman who is a provider, even if she has retired, will always remember the truth and dual nature of love, sex and relationships.

I'm beginning to believe that there may be a double standing when it comes to Provider's falling in love and wanting to commit to relationships.

As a provider, it is so easy to end up falling in love with the thought of being in a wonderful relationship because we deal with the (carnal) side of men that lack emotion, empathy, and a connection. We women are naturally made to "connect" and "hold on" to our feelings (like a vagina holds onto objects), whilst a man can go through life detached and unaffected - he inserts himself in or out of the situation (like a penis).
Originally Posted by brownsugarbaby

You are so damn smart for a young woman. As far as I can tell, gorgeous too.

That said you are wrong about all men. We don't all lack emotion, empathy, and a connection even in our most carnal moments. Not all guys BSB, but many of us cannot perform without a connection, some emotion and some empathy. Be cateful what you say and who you see. A lot of guys just aren't like that. I could see where a lot of hobbyists might be like that, but not all are.

I spent a long time with a lady once just talking and wiping away her tears. I couldn't have done anything else given the situation. She offered a refund and I refused. She saw me again free her idea and schedule. I still just wanted to.hold her and talk. I freakin hate men that treat women without respect, emotion, empathy and don't connect. I'm probably the lousiest lay she has ever had too. Our first meeting though was a poundtown special. Our 4th meeting hasn't happened, yet.....

So BSB, as smart as you are, all men are not the same.

I hope there's hope for you, BSB... we often see the worst side, of the worst men, on the worst month/week/year of their lives. SOMETIMES. The other ones are warm, sweet, capable of emotion, and capable of unselfishly caring for someone else. Sometimes we even get to see them in the hobby, like pfmtony or some of my regulars. Like pfmtony, I've had clients hold me on a bad day, wipe away tears after a traumatic event. Call me the eternal optimist, but I think of men as being much more the other way. The whole world isn't made of escorts and (the bad breed of) hobbyists. Every once in a while, when you peak outside, the view is really nice. We may see the worst side of what people are capable of doing and feeling sometimes, but to keep it in perspective is to know that it is the worst and it only gets better.

Lust makes the sex better and it leaves me wanting to see him again after a wonderful date. Lust breeds passion, intimacy, and a unique experience between us.

Love just takes the fun out of everything. No amount of money or chemistry between my favorite hobbyist can replace true and sincere human feelings that are more than likely to happen in the "vanilla" world.

Men don't give me their hard-earned money for me to "fall" for them. They give me their money to have a passionate experience without all the drama and craziness that comes with having a wife or SO. Originally Posted by brownsugarbaby

+1 That was RIGHT on point!

Sexy mind right here:

Ask yourself this question:

Why do we put ourselves in situations to find love everywhere?

Even in High School (If you dated), I think a lot of us pondered the possibility that we could meet the love of our lives in high school or in college and end up marrying our sweethearts.

In reality . . .

Staying with your High School Sweetheart sounded like a myth. In a way, finding the love of your life in the hobby world seems like a myth as well. Both situations seemed to be difficult and somewhat impossible because our parents, friends, and peers told us that these things simply don't work.

But do you remember the story of grandpa or grandma that met when they were in middle school and stayed together for the rest of their lives in (perpetual) bliss? Well, thats the fantasy you fell in love with and wanted in your life.

But, as you get older, you realize that life is not meant to be the way to seek out every opportunity to fall in love. Most people fall in love with the thought of love anyway. Most people fall in love without even looking for it.

As a provider, it is so easy to end up falling in love with the thought of being in a wonderful relationship because we deal with the (carnal) side of men that lack emotion, empathy, and a connection. We women are naturally made to "connect" and "hold on" to our feelings (like a vagina holds onto objects), whilst a man can go through life detached and unaffected - he inserts himself in or out of the situation (like a penis).

So ask yourself,

Are you in love with this man?
Or are you in love with the concept of falling in love with A man? Originally Posted by brownsugarbaby

Very well put. Beautifully stated.

In the paragraph that begins with, "As a provider..." I would need to give more thought to the detached and unaffected part. Each of us is lacking in certain areas, but I'm not sure getting in and pulling out of a situation is any easier for men than it is for women.

I have a question about this:

I'm beginning to believe that there may be a double standing when it comes to Provider's falling in love and wanting to commit to relationships. Originally Posted by brownsugarbaby

I like perspectives, does your double standard comment above mean you believe... a person who is in love but yet doesn't commit to relationships is... setting a double standard? I haven't looked at it this way before. Your comment/observation interests me.

Men don't give me their hard-earned money for me to "fall" for them. They give me their money to have a passionate experience without all the drama and craziness that comes with having a wife or SO. Originally Posted by brownsugarbaby

I don't know about this. It is exactly why I give my hard earned money to Lola, so that she'll fall for me. So far it's not working. :-(

To Many Times

Well I wouldn't blame a failed marriage on the client/provider relationship necessarily, considering our divorce rate. BUT I think the average man has a hard time dealing with the 'past' of a women who provides or did provide, No matter what people say on these boards about being open minded. THAT guy would be one in a million (clearly I haven't found him). I have found a few that pretended though. Originally Posted by East Indian Anjuli

To Many Times Originally Posted by Harley*Jayden

Oh child please!!!!!! : ) : p

I hope there's hope for you, BSB... we often see the worst side, of the worst men, on the worst month/week/year of their lives. SOMETIMES. The other ones are warm, sweet, capable of emotion, and capable of unselfishly caring for someone else. Sometimes we even get to see them in the hobby, like pfmtony or some of my regulars. Like pfmtony, I've had clients hold me on a bad day, wipe away tears after a traumatic event. Call me the eternal optimist, but I think of men as being much more the other way. The whole world isn't made of escorts and (the bad breed of) hobbyists. Every once in a while, when you peak outside, the view is really nice. We may see the worst side of what people are capable of doing and feeling sometimes, but to keep it in perspective is to know that it is the worst and it only gets better. Originally Posted by East Indian Anjuli

Focus on the taint. The taint is the key to understanding. If you care for your taint and your lover treats your taint well things will be good for a long time.

I freakin hate men that treat women without respect, emotion, empathy. Originally Posted by pfmtony

I couldn't agree more.

LMAO! The OP asked PROVIDERS if they've ever fallen for a client, yet the post is 5 pages long with only about 4 providers answering and dozens of clients answering... Too funny. I clicked on actually hoping to see what providers felt, but was sorely disappointed. Jut sayin'

I've heard the occasional story - scratch that - I OFTEN hear the common story about a client falling for a provider. There are guys out there secretly pining after and literally hurting themselves, seeking the heart of a provider. So here is my question: providers have you ever fallen for a client? Has it ever hurt you to have to leave? Did you ever just want to stay and spend the whole day in some guy's arms? SO or no SO, who cares. Just wondering? Originally Posted by East Indian Anjuli

LMAO! The OP asked PROVIDERS if they've ever fallen for a client, yet the post is 5 pages long with only about 4 providers answering and dozens of clients answering... Too funny. I clicked on actually hoping to see what providers felt, but was sorely disappointed. Jut sayin' Originally Posted by LickHer

It's the nature of the board. Many providers probably like to keep some feelings to themselves rather than lay it all out there for a bunch of dick led folks (not all are). Even though they give you a slice of their life at a session, behind the act, there's a person hiding in there with all the same heart and feelings that your mom, sister or co-worker has.

I hope there's hope for you, BSB... we often see the worst side, of the worst men, on the worst month/week/year of their lives. SOMETIMES. The other ones are warm, sweet, capable of emotion, and capable of unselfishly caring for someone else. Sometimes we even get to see them in the hobby, like pfmtony or some of my regulars. Like pfmtony, I've had clients hold me on a bad day, wipe away tears after a traumatic event. Call me the eternal optimist, but I think of men as being much more the other way. The whole world isn't made of escorts and (the bad breed of) hobbyists. Every once in a while, when you peak outside, the view is really nice. We may see the worst side of what people are capable of doing and feeling sometimes, but to keep it in perspective is to know that it is the worst and it only gets better. Originally Posted by East Indian Anjuli

That's sweet for/from both of you. While I understand the doubts, try to keep the faith.

I've seen it work.