The thread for people who don't write reviews and those who wish to discuss them

TinMan...is the smartest guy in the room.

...I have a strong belief that as long as I'm an active member of this board, I have a duty to support it in some fashion. That can be paying to keep the site going, or providing intel that I think may be useful to others.... Originally Posted by TinMan

This ^^^.

Back in the ASPD days, I was what I consider to be a "user". I used the site to find providers to see. That was it. I didn't contribute a damn thing. I justified it to myself with regard to not writing reviews there by saying to myself "I'm only seeing providers with lots of good reviews, so my writing a review doesn't contribute anything". I justified it with regard to the conversational/informational threads by saying to myself "Everything I want to say has pretty much been said".

Guess what? I was wrong.

Let's say a provider has 150 great reviews. Why should I write one? It won't mean anything anyway - she has all these great reviews - everybody wants to see her.

Suppose we all take this attitude. Then two years from now that provider's newest review is 2 years old, and who knows how much business she will lose as a result. A lot can change in 2 years, especially in this hobby/business.

Or, a new provider arrives on the scene. She has a few clients who see her, but nobody writes a review, and nobody vouches for her. She probably won't be here very long, because she most likely won't get that much business.

If you are going to use this site, then you should contribute something. And even if what you are contributing is considered inane bullshit by a most people, you are still contributing. For example, pfmTony irritated the shit out of God knows how many people (including me). But his Stay/Don't Stay poll got 176 posts in 9 days. But stuff like that actually does help to keep this place up and running, and sometimes even helps make it fun.

If everybody uses without contributing, then this site won't last, because the advertisers that pay a lot of the expenses that keep the place will take their money elsewhere.

The whole concept of being a user without contributing back is symptomatic of what is tearing our whole society apart. Narcissism will nearly always come back to bite you in the long run.

There are a variety of reasons I don't (or rarely) post reviews. Foremost among them is that I'm lazy. I have things to do or read or play or people I'd rather see or naps I'd rather take than writing a review. I sometimes enjoy writing for the sake of it, especially when I get on a roll, but erotic fiction is not one of my passions. So I really only wind up writing the rare review if I feel a situation calls for it, or I'm just in the mood to do so.

Secondly, I feel no obligation to write reviews, or more generally, pass along standard information. I'm pretty sure I don't know any of you guys, and don't give a shit about entertaining you with tales of my sexual exploits. I tend to see ladies with long track records of positive reviews, so it doesn't do much to benefit them or the guys if I add on positive review #197. That isn't to say I intentionally keep things to myself when it could benefit someone else (this board is a useful tool for me, and useful contributions help it stay so), but I don't care about keeping up a reputation, bragging, entertaining the random passer by, or helping you narrow down your choice by another 2%. Plus I don't generally feel I have anything significantly impactful, out of the ordinary, or worthwhile to pass on.

And finally, I see no benefit to me in posting a review for the sake of posting a review. I've had premium access before here and elsewhere, and I don't feel it's worthwhile for me. I don't hobby all that often; as previously stated I stick to well established ladies, and I do my research. I've found that as cautious as I am (sometimes overly so), the ROS details don't really help me avoid problems of have a particularly good time. The best ladies I've seen are ones I found without PA, and the worst time I've had was with one lady I chose while I had PA. I can make a well enough informed decision without it that it isn't worth the time or money to me.

If you're a risk taker, the extra info could definitely be make or break for you. If you have hobby friends you want to make sure have the latest and greatest, by all means, have at it. If you enjoy the braggadocio, knock yourself out. Share if it will save someone, or if the lady is new/seriously rehabbing her image and needs the boost, or you just want to. But for me, 99.9% of the time, myeh Originally Posted by The Proper Stranger

Thanks Proper, you have pretty much summed my reasoning, as well, and I've posted it before.

We all have the hobby, but some of us are more voyeuristic than others. Some like to brag on their sessions to the crew. Others don't. Big deal.

Wtf, put the fucking activities up, it's a great quick-reference without going elsewhere. And outside of the Sandbox, non-PAs can contribute in advice, concerns, best practices, and especially Alerts to the community without having PA. Somebody explain to me how if an Alert posted by one without PA saves a hobbiest's or providers ass, then the poster isn't contributing to the board. I'd like to hear that argument.

There are people who like the national scene. There are those who like to sandbox. There are those that like to chat. There are those who are really only here for what's in ROS. The long-standing members should just realize there are a lot of different types here...here for different reasons, enjoying the many different forums our SHMB has to offer.

Maybe I've just been around too long and seen too many of these threads (although I recognize that they need to happen so newbies can see them), but PA ROS guys should just get over it. Not everyone's going to do it the same way you are. Tough shit. It's the same here as everywhere else in life.

Thanks Duke I agree with you, too. Thanks EL214, new member of the year. TinMan, if think a review or payment is what defines a contributor, then I'll consider it. Your opinion I do actually value.

LnH

I get what you are saying hotindallas and thank you for your candor. I am sure that eventually I will start writing a few reviews from time to time, however not because the elitists on this site tell me I have to. As you said, if she is new on this site and really wants one done, I would do it, or if the lady is a well reviewed provider and does not have any recent reviews, if I saw her and she requested it, I would write one on her as well. Of the providers I have seen for sessions, none have requested that I write a review. I feel that I have contributed intel in my posts, given my opinion on hobby related matters and just welcomed others in the community, even if others do not agree or simply say my views do not matter since I have not done reviews. As far as advertisers go, it would be safe to say that when guys looks at an ad on this site, and because of it, set an appointment and follow through with sessions, the dollars they paid for advertising were well spent and more than like they will renew, even if none or only one of those many put up a review, the provider(s) still made her money.

And LnH, great post as always!

i don't review by choice-and as Sir-L referred-i do respond from time 2 time adding info about a provider that I'm I've experience

And the list of guys who have chosen not to do reviews keeps growing...........things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmm.........where are the guys that flame the non-reviewers at?

C'mon, Duke! The Activities line acronyms are repeated in the ROS! Nothing else is listed twice or mentioned twice on Reviews. It's redundant! Originally Posted by Prolongus

Yes...but the ROS isn't public. That's where you are missing me.

There is a public portion of reviews. It should be filled out as completely as the reviewer can manage. (Some info isn't always availble, for instance.)

There is zero reason, in my opinion, for a reviewer to be lazy, shady or otherwise choose not to share with the public the public portions of the review form. "See ROS" is shady bullshit that tries to "reward" PA members.

My argument isn't for or against reviewers or non- reviewers. I don't think there is some mass of membership "leeching" off of thost that review. Since reviews = free PA and ROS access, there will always be reviewers.

LnH, I've been careful to use the word "Intel" in most of my responses to this subject. I like to see reviews, and think there is tremendous value in that format, but if you are providing specific information about providers in some other format, I'm appreciative of that as well.

Sometimes I get more valuable intel through the Private responses in the comments to a review than I do through the review itself. Indeed, there are times when I do the same because I may have one item of interest to share, but don't feel it's enough to warrant a full review.

There is zero reason, in my opinion, for a reviewer to be lazy, shady or otherwise choose not to share with the public the public portions of the review form. "See ROS" is shady bullshit that tries to "reward" PA members. Originally Posted by Duke of G

I'm not lazy or shady, in fact I resent this comment from a level-headed guy like you Duke. But I won't take it personally, I know what you are trying to say.

There are other reasons for putting "See ROS" in the activities field, as stated on my earlier post that has nothing to do with preventing non-PA member from seeing it. Google and Archive.org won't be able to record forever what was written in there.

Incidentally, it was a mod that suggested to me to do "See ROS" , provided that the ROS section was complete and accurate.

Have a great day,

"See ROS" is shady bullshit that tries to "reward" PA members. Originally Posted by Duke of G

I'm gonna step in just briefly here on this point. I've used "See ROS" a few times, for two different reasons. Neither is to "reward" PA members.

First, I've had some sessions with some girls who advertise in the BP bodyrubs section. Particularly when they are early in their careers, they may be a little reserved about upgrades that they may offer being public knowledge. Some don't want other clients to know; some want to get to know you better; some are just YMMV. On one occasion, I'll confess to "downgrading" the review at the lady's request: I had a good, good (as opposed to "good" and "good, good, good") time with her; she didn't mind reviews, but she was only comfortable at that time with people knowing that she provided a good time. I also spent some enjoyable hours at UBT several years ago and suspect that I'm not alone in that approach.

Second, as some can probably discern from some of my Coed posts, I am easily bamboozled by the illusion of passion. When your only source of intimacy in 12 years is the hobby, it becomes easy, and, I hope, somewhat understandable, to confuse being intimate with someone and intimacy. (H/T to whoever used that phrase in a recent thread.) Sometimes it just doesn't seem right to include a list of activities or a blow-by-blow (ahem) account of what to me was a very special experience -- even if everyone else gets the same treatment, and even if she does it four times a day. To reduce that to "BBBJ, SS, MPCFS, CIM, MSOG" seems tawdry, unappreciative of what she did for me, and an understatement. Whether I specify it or not, an activities description that says, "Everything I could want in a GFE" and a recommendation that says, "Abso-fucking-utely yes!" should provide enough information to help you make a decision.

And the list of guys who have chosen not to do reviews keeps growing...........things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmm.........where are the guys that flame the non-reviewers at? Originally Posted by NearHauteRed

LOL... true

(they seem to have flamed-out)

You can not see any Activities list unless you are a VIP member on TER. Can't remember if it was that way on ASPD or not....But you knew they were there and the only way to see them was to pay up or post reviews. It was a tease, sort of, to find out what she does BCD, a tease to get you involved and contribute.

The Activities Line here, although it "spills the beans" still doesn't say how good or bad the BBBJ was. I know in some cases a reviewer may say a great BBBJ but he can't really go in to detail without revealing ROS info.

Here's my point, Duke...why pay up or review when a guy with no P.A. can see she does CIM? What's the incentive? How many more paying members or reviewers do you think ECCIE would have if that single line was eliminated?

LOL... true

(they seem to have flamed-out) Originally Posted by SD2011

Not going to name handles, but they are on and reading the responses and responding just to Duke of G and pretending to ignore, biting their tongue so to speak, realizing that there are more guys on here than they think that do not review or review very little, but do like to be on the site and contribute where they can.

Here's my point, Duke...why pay up or review when a guy with no P.A. can see she does CIM? What's the incentive? How many more paying members or reviewers do you think ECCIE would have if that single line was eliminated? Originally Posted by Prolongus

A most excellent point, sir. I know that I have suvived long dry spells on both sites without PA, basing my decisions solely on what was available publicly.

Aspd handled activities in the same fashion - available to all.