Your definition please: Hobby Hubby?

Any hobbiest who sees providers while thinking they are some lower form of life is a POS hyprocrite. Originally Posted by harleyrider64

+1!!

Originally Posted by harleyrider64
Any hobbiest who sees providers while thinking they are some lower form of life is a POS hyprocrite.

+1!! Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

Well, Ah thinck thar's more'n just one extra hippo-crit like thet on this h'yar site, sugar-britches. Nearest as Ah kin reckon, thar's prolly at least 4,000-5,000 fellas like thet 'round h'yar. Mebbe more. They jus' don't post all at oncet, don'cha know.

My two cents. I was first married to an upper crust society girl, It lasted 7 months. After learning the ways of the world and having an "in" in many Dallas topless bars I dated several dancers for over a year. Then I married one. That was 17 years ago. Kids are doing great in school, everything is a normal as can be. I have meet some great people here. Good people are good people, weather Doctor, lawyer, cop, or provider. Any hobbiest who sees providers while thinking they are some lower form of life is a POS hyprocrite. My hat is off to you girls. HR64 Originally Posted by harleyrider64

A) I never remotely implied that providers are a lower form of life. Hypocrisy has nothing to do with the topic at hand which was the wisdom behind marrying someone who actively fucks guys for a living. Apples and oranges. I showed no judgment toward the profession or those in it.

I've vouched for and brought into Eccie two very intelligent beautiful and popular providers who are my RW good friends. I've never played with either because I knew them as civi friends first outside of the hobby.

In fact I met one of these great girls on a blind online civi date which went extremely well. Being the honest person that she is, she fessed up right away that she was a provider.
One of the most amazing human beings I know to this day. My first reaction upon finding out was to refer her here to increase her business. I'm pretty sure she is probably reading this and smiling.

The fact that I respect her as a friend and woman doesn't mean I am a hypocrite for refusing to marry her profession. Crying hypocrisy and a low opinion of providers shows either ignorance or the inability to comprehend the written English language.

I know her to be considerably brighter and funnier than anyone I've ever seen on this board, myself included.

B) You married a previous topless dancer. Big deal because unless she was fucking her clientele and continued doing so after you married her than once again your point is completely out of context.

At one point in my younger days I DID in fact marry a retired Provider. Not just a topless dancer. I knew she had provided in the past and it made no difference to me. We would probably still be married today if she hadn't started secretly providing again after two years due to her having bipolar disorder which changed her personality completely.

You few providers who claim I don't know what I'm talking about are 100% wrong. I've been there and speak from first hand experience. What was the first giveaway that she was providing again? I could Smell it on her and the second was sudden secret texts.

Again I appreciate the whole WK vibe but at least keep it in context. You married a dancer who I assume retired. As if that has anything to do with exchanging vows with an active provider.

Well, Ah thinck thar's more'n just one extra hippo-crit like thet on this h'yar site, sugar-britches. Nearest as Ah kin reckon, thar's prolly at least 4,000-5,000 fellas like thet 'round h'yar. Mebbe more. They jus' don't post all at oncet, don'cha know. Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

Should I take that as a confession that you would gladly be married to an active provider? If not than it would appear hypocrisy has no bounds.

Now to confuse the thread further 1Curiousguy and I are hobby husbands to the same woman. Just different cities. He and I are buds to the extent we like the same type of woman. Smart, quick witted and down right sexy.

I am sorry if anything said below is taken the wrong way. Those that know me, know that I am a fairly sensitive person with a big heart. Nothing is said out of malice or anger, so I hope it isn't taken that way.

Providers are too dysfunctional to have a lasting relationship with, they have a tendency to go silent and run whenever things aren't just their way. So Hobby Hubby would be an oxymoron, emphasis on the moron. Originally Posted by lips in the hills

How are providers dysfunctional? Not all of us go silent or run.

I've always wondered what motivates a guy to pursue a serious relationship with a woman who provides for a living.
Either he's dumb enough to think she'll quit just for him or he's just not that emotionally invested in her so he just doesn't give a shit what she's been doing or with whom she's been doing it.
I've found that some emotionally mature providers can make good friends but that's where the line is drawn. Originally Posted by Codybeast

I was a swinger before becoming a provider. Had a year long relationship in the lifestyle with a great guy but moved, and still good friends with him.
Just because a lady is a provider doesn't make her any less a lady and able to create & sustain a lasting relationship.
The man involved isn't dumb, he just needs to be secure in where the lady's heart is. Just because she has or enjoys or gets paid to have sex with other men doesn't mean that she loves her RW partner any less.

So... The double standard applies? Men (hobbyists.) are capable of meaningful/long term relationships... But, ALL providers are not. Thank you for clearing that up :-) Originally Posted by Aphrodite

+1

Wow, as long as a lady cleans properly and thoroughly and isn't seeing a football team every day, sorry, you CANNOT detect such "scents." What a crass comment.
Codybeast, I know several happily married providers with husbands who are quite aware of what they do. At least two of them started out with the gent being a Hobbyist first. If a relationship ISN'T built on deception, why can't it be "meaningful?" Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

Very true!!
As long as there are no secrets about the hobby life or business, then it can be very meaningful.

I seriously question the validity of your comment regarding knowing several happily married providers where the husband is perfectly happy with what she does.
Not saying I know it to be false. It simply doesn't register when I try to open my mind to the concept on any remotely romantic or intimate level.
Speaking for myself only. If I know you've just been fucking and sucking multiple guys right before seeing me you will never even get a glimpse of let alone own my heart. I will still be generous and kind but that is something else entirely. Originally Posted by Codybeast

This first part refers to swinging... I knew one married man whose wife knew when he saw me. He said that they would discuss things when either of them saw someone else. He said it added excitement and intensity to their relationship. He told me that they would recount their 'dates' and end up having some of the hottest, most passionate sex between themselves afterwards. They had been swinging together or separately for years, but always with the other's knowledge & permission. In the lifestyle I've met couples that had just started swinging and then others that had been swinging over 20 years, yet their love never waned. Some guys get turned on by watching their wives with other men, or hearing the recount of events.
And what if you are not interested in some of the things she likes or vice versa? For example, not everyone likes Greek, what if you hate it and she loves it. Would you deny her desire? Would you force yourself to do it just for her? I doubt it.
I don't know if you are married or single but shutting your heart down to even the possibility of loving a lady just because she is a provider could keep you from finding a mate that you are sexually compatible with and a good person. I'm not bashing you on your opinion, but never say never.
What difference does it make whether the lady is being paid or whether she is doing it strictly for fun? Should it be different if the man pays a lady or it's strictly for fun?

I cant stop laughing at the residual sperm smell or the condom scent. Originally Posted by NikkiWhite

I've heard this is possible.

Interesting topic and discussion!! I read some of this and I just !!!!

I just wonder when reading others if some are really as naïve as they would seem???? Consider the difference between a provider (someone who provides services, some sexual for a fee) and a slut (someone who fucks her companion on the first, second, or third date and continues every time she can get his pants off). We will contemplate a relationship with a slut (all the while denying to ourselves that is what she is), but not a provider????

Consider that you could meet a lady out and enjoy her company. Engage in conventional dating and learn to care for her, and never know what her day....er...a....night job really is. It could happen to any of us and unless she told us, we would never know......not even with the telltale scent of cockbreath!!!!!! Consider the possibilities?????????

It's like the age old question, "Do you know the difference between a prostitute and your wife?" You pay the prostitute to leave. You pay your wife to stay.

The self righteous are so conspicuous that I thought for a moment I was at a meeting for the Southern Baptist Convention!!!!!


Hmmmmmmm, interesting topic indeed!!!!! Hobby Husband, indeed!!!!


Spacemtn





Originally Posted by Spacemtn

I got a PM from a lady who asked me some questions about the "Hobby Husband" concept. They were pretty introspective from a lady's point of view.

She asked me if I would post them as she was a little reluctant to do so. I thought I would re phrase some of them and see what others thoughts would be as I personally don't know how to answer them.

Is a Hobby Husband basically a boyfriend/SO you met hobbying?
How do you know if he is just a sweet talker who is worming his way to freebies vs fwb vs he really wants more then all that?
Who initiates the "next step" from hobbyist/provider (business) relationship to the next level??
Some interesting questions! Thoughts, anyone??

Spacemtn Originally Posted by Spacemtn

I agree with what you have said. It does seem that it's the self righteous that "judge".
I always tell guys upfront that I'm a swinger before I ever agree to meet them on a personal level. If they can accept swinging then eventually they may learn of this hobby if things progress further. If they can't accept swinging, there is no way they will accept the hobby, but I won't meet them in the first place.

I think a hobby husband is someone that the provider decides that he no longer has to pay. They click so well that she no longer wants it to be a business transaction. IMHO. Originally Posted by Claire She Blows;10548p95188

I have had this happen before. But if the man is married or involved, it cannot proceed beyond the business aspect.

I am single so hobbying for me is that exactly what Space said I am paying them to go away. Until I meet someone that I want a commited relationship with will continue to hobby....So as for topic Hobby Huaband is someone you spend time with and can talk about life with to.me. Originally Posted by jackdanielscowboy

I've been told by a couple of married clients that they see me to save their marriage. It keeps them from going out and ending up in an emotional affair that could be more devastating. Yet they still need the physical release without the emotional drama.

My two cents. I was first married to an upper crust society girl, It lasted 7 months. After learning the ways of the world and having an "in" in many Dallas topless bars I dated several dancers for over a year. Then I married one. That was 17 years ago. Kids are doing great in school, everything is a normal as can be. I have meet some great people here. Good people are good people, weather Doctor, lawyer, cop, or provider. Any hobbiest who sees providers while thinking they are some lower form of life is a POS hyprocrite. My hat is off to you girls. HR64 Originally Posted by harleyrider64

Just an example that no matter what kind of profession the lady is in it can last. Those outside of the hobby can be just as flaky as those in it. And those in the hobby can be just as committed to making things work as those not involved with it.

I have NEVER been married + I don't see the need to be ...
I don't want tax breaks or something special, when I am buying a house ... or whatever else I learned about marriage from the whole gay political protest happening now !!!
I am into sexual sparks + companionship ONLY.

However, I did have several relationships, during my escort years + I was OUT OF THE CLOSET as a provider, during all of them.
One of my boyfriends did MFM + DP appointments with me !!! I actually brought that one to Austin with me last summer !!! His work name was Toby
I have been totally cool with ;;; balancing work + love !!!
I had four boyfriends during the past six years + One of them was not nice about it ; and the other three thought it was VERY COOL I did this juob + they thought it was sexy and bad ass !!! I think they were also glad that I could pay my own way too, ya know ? Dating a broke person ;;; can be challenging, ya know ? I am NEVER BROKE.

P.S. I am SINGLE right now !!! I have been SINGLE since August 2013

I think this is a very interesting discussion so I ventured out of lurkerdom for a while. I think that a "hobby hubby" is a situation where the two people have, over time and many meetings, have developed a relationship and become very comfortable with each other...they might even have fallen in love.

Although there is a paradox to this: If a provider, even after they've developed this deep relationship, continues charging the hobbyist then there will always be the question in the hobbyists mind whether the provider likes him for himself or just because he's paying her.

On the other side if the provider affirms that it's a special relationship and quits charging the hobbyist then it ceases to be a "hobby" relationship any more.

After meeting my hobby wife yesterday I thought I would resurrect this thread. Most of the replies have been over thinking the subject. A hobby wife/husband is the person that knows your little quirks and things that turn you on. When I think of my hobby wife I rejoice at the fun things we have done together. Not the sex things but the normal every day stupid fun. The things that friends do with each other out side the hobby. I feel blessed to have met several ladies in the hobby that meet my criteria of a hobby wife.

I feel blessed .... Originally Posted by tucson

Thanks for posting that.


I thought I had some opinions on the topic. I realized that they were just "my way." Having a healthy relationship is more important than conforming to what other people think is "right."

YummyMarie is now my Fort Worth wife. She spanked my ass for my birthday.

YummyMarie is now my Fort Worth wife. She spanked my ass for my birthday. Originally Posted by tucson

We'll go ring shopping next time I'm in town

WHEN!!!!!!

Now to confuse the thread further 1Curiousguy and I are hobby husbands to the same woman. Just different cities. He and I are buds to the extent we like the same type of woman. Smart, quick witted and down right sexy. Originally Posted by tucson

yep!

To me a hobby hubby is a client who is more than just a client......he is an ATF,one whom you have a deeper connection with...... and the sessions can go a little more intimate due to that fact.

When I posted this original question - I was seeking answers for myself but, also very curious about the varied perceptions and experiences of those in this community.

The responses have been very enlightening, funny, moving, worthy of a good 'eye roll' here and there but, all in all, very informative.

My more recent thoughts (I see some of you cringing and thinking, "Oh shite, there she goes again. What a long winded broad!" hehe) from my personal experiences, of late, are...

A: Clients with whom I share a fondness and fun connection with and would enjoy meeting under any circumstances.
B: Clients with whom I share a great chemistry with, as in barely make it past my front door, kind of chemistry - each and every time. Tempting to turn them into a 'hobby hubby' but, I know feelings could develop and if he is married - I can't go down that road again.
C: The guy who starts off as a client and we mutually admit we would like to explore something more. The key here is that I have to be the one to initiate this arrangement - if the client does so (see B) then I am leery.
The danger here is that *DOH!* he is more than likely married and yet the attraction/connection is very strong and there is more time spent doing non-hobby (read:sexually) related things that we both enjoy.
Feelings develop, as a previous poster stated and both might fall in love.
Or, one sided feelings develop and bottom line is that love or not - statistics say that he isn't leaving his wife. Been there, lesson learned. Got the t-shirt and the beer koozie, to match.
This is where I wondered if 'Hobby Hubby' applied as that is how the relationship started...an outgrowth of a P4P encounter.
I thought it funny - he did not.

D: I didn't know there could be a D...but, I am still sorting through the fine print and legal contest rules. That is the 'encounter' that never happens.
For $ anyway. You both get as far as dinner and realize that you should have met on Match.com...lol Funny world in which we live, ain't it?


Oh, I am just a romantic at heart...so shoot me

Aphrodite