I'm happy to read what you have to say, I do understand all of your points, they are all valid...
Before I explain some things you need to understand a bit more about my personality, and mind you, some of this will sound harsh, but I'm not afraid to admit that. I am a good & fun person, I am also at times quite harsh, abrasive, and insensitive, while I am certainly not bragging about some of these traits I possess, I recognize that I have them, and when provoked those traits will surface. Now, while of course it's normal to feel defensive or get a bit bitchy when one is being attacked, most people will later on regret things they've said or done in the heat of the moment......just so we're clear, I'm not one of those people....
You are much nicer than me, because while you are thinking it isn't fair to all the people I put on ignore because they don't get to say what they want to me, I could care less what they think is fair at this point, completely uninterested....Maybe that sounds bad to some, but I'm being honest.
You say "continued blog posts"...I've posted a total of 2 in something like 2 weeks, about the people I care not for....So take a moment, step back and think of all the numerous threads and posts that have been started about me that were nothing more than to be rude in the past two weeks, think of all the posts that have been written about me....Now if I was writing a blog everyday, then yea, I would categorize them as being continued posts....but the ratio of horrible posts about me to my 2 blogs....well you to the math...There were days I went without posting on those boards, but even then the people continued to post about me, that's obsessive behaviour. When I feel something is wrong or people are being disrespectful I tend to get extremely passionate on the matter, and since I am not allowed to post what I really think on this board, then I don't see a damn thing wrong with me posting a total of 2 blogs about what I think on my personal site...
You're right, name calling is name calling, insults are insults regardless if on this board or any other place, but what you're not understanding about me is that I don't care...now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't care about people's feelings in general, I can be the most compassionate person, but once someone has crossed a line with me, I'll be completely honest with you, I could care less if they feel sad, mad, or insulted, I become completely numb to them at that point, and there's not an ounce of me that feels bad or guilty about it.
My blog link is not the only thing in my sig line, there are 4 other links as well, so I wouldn't read into that so much, and as I said earlier, I'm not forcing anyone to read it. Honestly if someone I didn't like had a blog, I wouldn't read it, why would I want to? People continued to provoke and harass me, then when I write a blog about it they all act shocked ?...So what I will say is, if you're not prepared to have my opinions written about you on my blog, then don't provoke me... And if you don't like what I have to say, then don't read it....that's pretty straight forward advice, I mean it's not difficult at all for me to put them all on ignore, I don't even give it a second thought.
Bottom line:
I was treated with disrespect from my first post on the Houston board.
I was threatened (via email- you prob didn't know that, but a mod does..)
My intellect was consistently questioned.
My heritage/accent was constantly being made fun of.
I was harassed & bullied to the point that even such topics as the death of my daughter were being thrown in my face.
I write the above list NOT because I want sympathy from anyone, sympathy doesn't get you anywhere...I am letting you know those are the reasons I wrote what I have written...
I don't write insulting material unless I feel it's justifiable, ( unlike some, I am not a sadist.)
It's funny, after I cancelled my trip and emailed the guys explaining why, all the replies I received were apologies from them, for the behaviour of my "ignore list"....
Originally Posted by Valerie
Excellent points..... However some things in particular stick out to me......
I will disagree in the fact that you with your consistant "I do not care what they say" in that you do in some form or another..... which is completely understandable..... but if you don't care what is "fair" to them, then is it acceptable to you if they are not "fair" to you in return? The type of person you are notwithstanding, there is a certain level of double standards that you seem to be seeking in this particular instance...... at least it seems that way to me and others I have talked to about this....... and while the phrase "continued blog posts" may seem out done by the number of posts here to the contrary... the fact is that your blog posts are in a forum that can not be challenged, whereas they can be here, so it is only natural in a post-counter-post scenario and the depth to which you are able to post on your blog will naturally explain the disparaty of the number of entries........ Again, your avenue of response has been your blog, and theirs has been here when in direct response to quotes from that blog......
Bottom line:
I was treated with disrespect from my first post on the Houston board.
I was threatened (via email- you prob didn't know that, but a mod does..)
My intellect was consistently questioned.
My heritage/accent was constantly being made fun of.
I was harassed & bullied to the point that even such topics as the death of my daughter were being thrown in my face.
Originally Posted by Valerie
Ok, here is another instance that out of complete respect I must disagree (to most of this anyway).... you're right.... I have NO IDEA of the email, and that is inexcusable and simply absurd for someone to threaten another over the content discussed on a SHMB...... But that being said..... I have a little different recallection of those events (the death of a child issue should not be touched or revisited IMHO)..... in addition I think that certain misunderstandings are responsible for these issues escallating beyond repair...... part of which perhaps ignore could be a contributing problem........ Not to get on a point by point dispute of those listed events, but I think that if given a chance, and re-visited with a calmer frame of mind, things will look differently...... the MAJOR problem that happens (and what looked to me what HAPPENED here) is that it is so very hard to read intent, tone and inflection from the written word....... people's sense of humors do not exactly mesh up and what is a joke to one, could be considered HIGHLY offensive to another..... without question things in Houston for you escellated much further than it should have....... fact of the matter is that there is plenty of blame to go around there for all parties.......
My contention is that the end of this conflict is crippled by the ignore button.... by simply tuning certain persons out without giving them a chance to perhaps explain themselves, or even appologies when wrong, only makes those situations fester even further......
And only writing insulting remarks when its justifiable? That is a dangerous statement in its own right from my perspective...... who is the person who deems when being insulting is justifiable? Again, if it is good for you to do, does that make it acceptable for them to do the same? I think no on both accounts....
The problem I run into for both sides here is the lack of respect for the other side.... that is the truely deplorable crime in all of this....... accountability for one's own actions and a shared respect for one another should be of the utmost importance of anyone participating here..... the moment you lose site of that is the moment you should seriously re-evaluate you situation in life.... (and by "you" in this regard I am speaking to no one in particular but everyone)
But what does happen on ignore is when those you ignore DO in fact have concise words of wisdom, and could inevitably hold out an olive branch........ For example of wisdom missed:
I thinck this question is about being open minded and being able to respect folks that may disagree with you. It's also about learning, if you are only going to let the opinions you already have be reinforced then learning stops and that saddens me for anyone that chooses that path.
There is a real point here we can often learn the most from the folks we disagree with. Maybe you can't walk in another's shoes, but you can listen to what they have to say and give it a chance to be more than just something you don't agree with.
Originally Posted by Wayward
Again... while you are well within your rights to ignore, and dislike whomever you like..... I just do not see the advantages of the ignore option to a great extent......
JaD