GENTLEMEN/HOBBYISTS QUESTION

I stand by my previous posts in this thread.....

Molly..... Are you going to change your way of screening after all of this or did you just want to see if others felt the same way you did so you could continue doing what you've always done?


I don't consider what she did a NC/NS. She didn't need to call as she opened the door when he arrived. It's not a no show as she was there in person. If we were in route to see a woman and she called to cancel then it wouldn't be considered a NC/NS. All she did was cancel in person. We all and I mean all make the best decision we feel is in our best interest in this thing. That's all we can do.

Wicked Milf..... Aren't you telling people not to judge the OP who clearly judged someone herself when she opened the door? Don't we all make judgements about each other when we screen, read posts, and talk to each other?

She posted this thread asking for advice. She gave whatever information she felt relevent. All everyone is doing is giving her the advice they feel is right based on the information they are given.

Really? Come on man. She posted to get some feedback. Not to be judged nor nit picked about every damn reason as to why she canceled upon encountering issues in person.
It pretty damn sad that some folks have to know every last reason why someone makes the decisions they do.

Why not applaud the provider for having the guts to cancel in person when she encountered the issues. You think it was easy for her? Probably not. She didn't know how the guy might react. It's not easy telling a guy you just met, that you can't go through with a date. There are some nut cases in the adult lifestyle. They can be nice to one lady and a real Jekyll Hyde to another. And when a lady is standing in the presence of someone she can no longer proceed forward in a date with.
That can be one hell of a nerve racking feeling. Wondering about her safety etc.

I truly don't care what another persons reasons are for canceling in person. I'm just glad they had the guts to do so. Rather than being completely uncomfortable and giving someone a crappy experience.

why did she start the thread then? Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Interesting.

What I think (not that it matters) is that the OP is feeling some GUILT, about cancelling, and perhaps about said 'preferences' as well. If it wasn't a personal issue, why make a thread about it?

Just saying.

I am going to catch hell for this, however my situation fits this concern perfectly. I am usually easy going and I dont care if youre short, tall, overweight, or thin as long as good hygiene and respect are good. I had a session in which I should had CLEARLY ran when he opened the door. I did screen and had even seen a picture of him. I should had turned and walked away, however this was the first time I had ever been in this type situation and I honestly let guilt take over because I didnt want to hurt his feelings. I made the best of the situation. I will be the first to admit, it was NOT my best and probably deserved some negativity. However next day I was told that I was tied for his ATF.. so maybe I did do well?
The kicker- it got out that I pondered the thought of turning away immediately for "personal preference" and suddenly I was the worst provider known to man. A negative review was then threatened.

I think it is a catch 22. If I had turned and left, I would had received a horrible review. If I did what I did, I still receive a horrible review. I think honesty is the best route however keep in mind, feelings could be hurt. I wonder if a situation such as mine would had been better if suddenly I claimed the "flu bug" or "aunt flow"? Originally Posted by LusciousLacy

Hmmm, interesting "it got out that I pondered the thought of turning away immediately for "personal preference" means you talked about said client(a bit low class and something you have done to your other clients) to someone you shouldn't have since it "got out and back to him". Since as you said he seemed to be happy with you or also being nice about what happened, you should have said nothing about him. If he wanted to see you again you could have found a polite reason to not rebook with him and let that be it.

You clearly say it wasn't your best performance and you expected a less than great review. But from the statement that he claimed you were an equal ATF sounds like a good review would have been posted. Seems your mouth screwed you out of that review and if this had been done to me I'd be very inclined to give a bad review as you broke the trust by talking about said client behind his back. The only time a provider should be discussing a client is when she is called for a reference for said client. We(clients) are paying for a service and part of that service is that you over look minor things about us. If you know you have issues that don't allow you to do this they should be made known, if it happens that you could not know until meeting him in person then be the professional we expect you to be and politely cancel the appointment at the time you arrive. Sure you'll get a bad review over it to let others know your extreme YMMV "personal preference" nature but it'll be nothing compared to the review you'll get for doing what you have said you did here.

Quoting you again: "I think honesty is the best route however keep in mind, feelings could be hurt." Seems to me you did more damage to his feelings by being dishonest and talking behind his back, than you would have being honest. We see it all the time ladies getting pissed when they find out stuff that is said in the reviews that was never said to them in person and going ape shit on the guy saying it, so it's very illogical to think the same won't happen in reverse, even more so since part of what we are paying for is discretion!!

In my opinion you get what you get from acting in this very unprofessional manner and guys should take what you have said here as a warning when seeing you. It happened to this guy, it can happen to them as well!

As to Miss Molly, I applaud her for knowing that she could not fulfill her part in the session due to her personal reasons and choosing to cancel rather than "power through" it. She handled herself like a true professional and not a money grabber!

NO I don't feel she judged the hobbyist. She obviously doesn't wish to see men with dark skin. Is that judging him? NO, it's her preference as to skin color. Not our place to understand why.
I could if I wanted to....try to get her to see things differently.
But who am I or anyone else to tell someone to take a chance on someone and go against their preference?

And yes, perhaps this will be a learning experience for Molly, and regardless if some men are offended by it in the future. Perhaps now she'll not only ask their race but the color of their skin.

Wicked Milf..... Aren't you telling people not to judge the OP who clearly judged someone herself when she opened the door? Don't we all make judgements about each other when we screen, read posts, and talk to each other?

She posted this thread asking for advice. She gave whatever information she felt relevent. All everyone is doing is giving her the advice they feel is right based on the information they are given. Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

No I didn't mean by his skin color. As others have said there were other issues as well and I think she said that skin color was not the "only" issue. That would be called "making a judgement call".

We can call it what we want but it's still called judgement.

Why do so many act as if judging someone is a bad thing? We make judgements on a daily basis. Sometimes it's what keeps us safe and out of harms way. It's when acting as if we are superior to others that we take judging someone too far.

I personally don't see what she did as wrong. However if it's possible I think she should make her preferences and restrictions plain on her ad. If those preferences and restrictions are made on a case by case basis (that would be ymmv) then instances like what she went through here are bound to happen and I wouldn't start a thread over it. But that's just me

Wicked...Molly stated (in the SA thread) that the other *issue* was his hygiene...she stated he was *slobbish.* What the heck does that mean? He stated (in his review) that she looked like she had just gotten out of bed...when she finally opened the door. It's one thing if she actually had a legit reason...a whole different thing if she's just trying to *justify* not being *up* for the session...and trying to brush it off as his fault.

This hobbyist may be new to ECCIE, but not to the hobby. He has been a regular client of a very *reputable* SA provider for seven years...and has always been very clean and tidy for her...just makes Molly's *reasoning* a bit suspicious. Especially, when she keeps changing her story.

And, Wicked...I know you keep talking about how a hobbyist is one way with one provider and another way with someone else...which I agree with *to a point.* A hobbyist's personality may change...given the interaction with different providers...but, their hygiene and the way they dress are typically consistent.

SA providers already get a bad rap...do we really need to publicly show them why?

There's no way for you to know where/or with whom she might of made comments about said hobbyist. It could very of well of been posted in the ladies only area or in the alert section for ladies only.
That in and of itself is not low class/not disrespectful and not forgoing discretion. She's well within her hobby rights to make other ladies aware of such uncomfortable situation she encountered. Just as men do of ladies. And IF another provider takes that alert info back to said hobbyists and tattles on the provider. Well then you can stand in judgement of the lady doing the tattling. NOT of the provider who posted said alert feedback.

And just because said guy was happy with her & had a great time in his own way or and found her to be an ATF does NOT mean said provider felt the same. Could this provider of handled things differently from the get go and canceled upon his arrival so she didn't have to endure what she did and thus there wouldn't be a need to post an alert or such on said hobbyist. Maybe so.
None the less, you don't know the logistics of where she made light of her encounter with said gent. Thus you don't have the right to scold her.

Hmmm, interesting "it got out that I pondered the thought of turning away immediately for "personal preference" means you talked about said client(a bit low class and something you have done to your other clients) to someone you shouldn't have since it "got out and back to him". Since as you said he seemed to be happy with you or also being nice about what happened, you should have said nothing about him. If he wanted to see you again you could have found a polite reason to not rebook with him and let that be it.

You clearly say it wasn't your best performance and you expected a less than great review. But from the statement that he claimed you were an equal ATF sounds like a good review would have been posted. Seems your mouth screwed you out of that review and if this had been done to me I'd be very inclined to give a bad review as you broke the trust by talking about said client behind his back. The only time a provider should be discussing a client is when she is called for a reference for said client. We(clients) are paying for a service and part of that service is that you over look minor things about us. If you know you have issues that don't allow you to do this they should be made known, if it happens that you could not know until meeting him in person then be the professional we expect you to be and politely cancel the appointment at the time you arrive. Sure you'll get a bad review over it to let others know your extreme YMMV "personal preference" nature but it'll be nothing compared to the review you'll get for doing what you have said you did here.

Quoting you again: "I think honesty is the best route however keep in mind, feelings could be hurt." Seems to me you did more damage to his feelings by being dishonest and talking behind his back, than you would have being honest. We see it all the time ladies getting pissed when they find out stuff that is said in the reviews that was never said to them in person and going ape shit on the guy saying it, so it's very illogical to think the same won't happen in reverse, even more so since part of what we are paying for is discretion!!

In my opinion you get what you get from acting in this very unprofessional manner and guys should take what you have said here as a warning when seeing you. It happened to this guy, it can happen to them as well! Originally Posted by novacain

I've only been turned away once, "at the door". The lady in question smiled & respectfully told me..."Sorry honey, you're cute, but I don't see black guys" Now, it sucked that I had to get ALL the way to her incall to find out, but I just said cool and went to see someone who would see me and yes...I had already passed her screening and we talked several times on the phone before my arrival...Like others have said, respectfully list your preferences in your Showcase/Ads, whatever they may be, to avoid any future problems...

DED...that's just crazy! You're quite the *legend* with the ladies, so I think she lost out!! (lol) How on earth did she not know your ethnicity if she checked out your MANY references?

NO I don't feel she judged the hobbyist. She obviously doesn't wish to see men with dark skin. Is that judging him? NO, it's her preference as to skin color. Not our place to understand why.
I could if I wanted to....try to get her to see things differently.
But who am I or anyone else to tell someone to take a chance on someone and go against their preference?

And yes, perhaps this will be a learning experience for Molly, and regardless if some men are offended by it in the future. Perhaps now she'll not only ask their race but the color of their skin. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

You have good point Wicked Milf. Maybe Molly should ask their skin color along with race. I can see it now. I don't cater to AA or dark skin Hispanics. I wonder how well that will work in San Antonio.

There's no way for you to know where/or with whom she might of made comments about said hobbyist. It could very of well of been posted in the ladies only area or in the alert section for ladies only.

Lacy never claimed that she posted it there, nore how said client came to know this info or even if infact he was told about it. Only he knows where and how he found out and since he's not come forward we don't know.

That in and of itself is not low class/not disrespectful and not forgoing discretion. She's well within her hobby rights to make other ladies aware of such uncomfortable situation she encountered. Just as men do of ladies. And IF another provider takes that alert info back to said hobbyists and tattles on the provider. Well then you can stand in judgement of the lady doing the tattling. NOT of the provider who posted said alert feedback.

She just clearly publicly outted the fact that she did feel this way about said client, while she didn't name him, it is very safe to figure he knows who he is and others may also now know. So it was not kept in the area for this type of info to be passed so yes it is disrespectful and low class.

And just because said guy was happy with he/had a great time in his own way or and found her to be an ATF does NOT mean said provider felt the same.

Never said she had to feel the same, she could have left him feeling that way about her and not see him again after that. She is in no way forced to see him again nore be his ATF.

Could this provider of handled things differently from the get go and canceled upon his arrival so she didn't have to endure what she did and thus there wouldn't be a need to post an alert or such on said hobbyist. Maybe so.
None the less, you don't know the logistics of where she made light of her encounter with said gent. Thus you don't have the right to scold her. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

Yes we do know the logistics of where she made light of it, she clearly states it in her post. Lacy claimed she should have turned and ran soon as she saw him, she chose not to do that but rather go on with a session she knew she had an issue with. So yes I can say she didn't not handle this situation as a true professional and what ever actions the client might make from here (bad review) she should totally expect as HER actions changed his mind about her. She claimed he was happy with her, she should have left it at that, not seen him again and let those who called her for a referance on him know what to be aware of. From what she states it was clearly based on apperance since she wanted to leave soon as seeing him. Sorry but that is not alert worthy, we all are not Brad Pitt or Robert Redford.

I stand by my previous posts in this thread.....

Molly..... Are you going to change your way of screening after all of this or did you just want to see if others felt the same way you did so you could continue doing what you've always done?


I don't consider what she did a NC/NS. She didn't need to call as she opened the door when he arrived. It's not a no show as she was there in person. If we were in route to see a woman and she called to cancel then it wouldn't be considered a NC/NS. All she did was cancel in person. We all and I mean all make the best decision we feel is in our best interest in this thing. That's all we can do.

Wicked Milf..... Aren't you telling people not to judge the OP who clearly judged someone herself when she opened the door? Don't we all make judgements about each other when we screen, read posts, and talk to each other?

She posted this thread asking for advice. She gave whatever information she felt relevent. All everyone is doing is giving her the advice they feel is right based on the information they are given. Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

Damnit EA...I'm getting tired of agreeing with you

DED...that's just crazy! You're quite the *legend* with the ladies, so I think she lost out!! (lol) How on earth did she not know your ethnicity if she checked out your MANY references? Originally Posted by Likinikki

I don't know sweetie, it's not like I don't have it on my P411 profile...hell, I even have a picture on my profile


...and MANY references???? It sounds to me like you are calling me a lil' slut....good judge of character

You have good point Wicked Milf. Maybe Molly should ask their skin color along with race. I can see it now. I don't cater to AA or dark skin Hispanics. I wonder how well that will work in San Antonio. Originally Posted by atxguy2006

WOW....

Hummm, did molly ever really check his references. I've never received any reference check from her.. All this would have been clear out in the open then doing muse like that. No, big deal there r some wonderful "reliable" companions I know that I can refer him too.

How can you view this as a NCNS? Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

In this described issue (remember we are only hearing one side) it would seem the real problem is that she does not communicate such a strong preference up front nor does she cover it in screening. Therefore, it is rather hard to say what conversation might have occurred or whether or not the guy represented himself as something he wasn't. If he did (and if she had made these preferences known up front) then I agree with you completely WICKED MILF.

If no such conversation happened and there was no duplicity on the guy's part and he drove to see her, showed up on time, had the correct fee, and was at least clean and fresh, but she turned him away at the door because of some weird aversion then YOU ARE DAMNED TOOTIN' IT MERITS A NCNS/BAD REVIEW!