On Being Kept...

I know it is easy to say that my post didn't mean to be offensive. Suffice it to say that it wasn't meant towards you. I have just heard all the nonsense on this forum before about male SDs "preying on women", women giving it up for so little, how the HDHs are so worth it and underpaid for what they do.

What the women here really need to do is accept that the SD SB model is a real alternative for men to meet their sexual needs. When I first posted the glory days of the HDH are over, my point was for women here to entertain a new business model to compete with the coming wave. Few did.

What I like about the SD SB model over the HDH one is: no hourly rates, real intimacy, real passion, and a more open attitude with regards to bareback sex. Downside is that I have had SBs with unrealistic financial obligations and there is no guarantee of sex with first or even subsequent dates.

I just wish some HDHs would have ridden to the challenge of the new model instead of spewing out insults. I was reacting to those past insults LM more than anything you posted. Originally Posted by woodyboyd

See, that's your problem. You aren't reading what's being said here, you're focusing on what's been said in the past. We aren't trying to continue the argument, so don't treat us like we are. No one here has said that either party is preying on anyone, only discussed the differences, rhymes, and reasons. In fact, I think the majority of us, including myself who has been a SB and decided I'd rather escort, and LilMynx, who is starting to maybe reconsider her situation, have been supportive of the SB/SD way of doing things.

And yet, here we are. Being called hookers like it's an insult to tell us what we do for a living. No one in this thread ever tried to insult you or even anyone in a SD/SB relationship, so don't take it so personally.

Now, as far as SB/SD relationships being the "new model", eh... I really doubt that. It happens so infrequently because the majority of people don't want or can't have that kind of situation in their life, not because we hookers refuse to "rise to the challenge". It's great that you like it, and it's great that you've found ladies who want the same thing, but that doesn't mean everyone else is doing it wrong.

I never said or implied that anyone was a loser or toxic, that's how you chose to take it. I simply said I would never, and yes I can confidently say NEVER, drag my children into a situation that could get them taken away.

He asked if I had any clients I would introduce my children to. As an escort, my answer was no. Do you have any idea the kind of legal shit storm a mother could get into for doing that? For having a child around illegal activities, especially those of a sexual nature, ie escorting? No one even stops to think about what could happen if an ex, or a family member, or heaven forbid law enforcement found out about a kid being in that situation. Charlotte's just an asshole who doesn't "get it". No, I get it plenty. And that's why I can confidently say one way or the other. It would be bad enough for me to get arrested in a random hotel room, but to add having my children around someone in this world to the point that they "beg" to see them? It'd be done before I even got to say "I'm so sorry I'll never do it again".

And the repercussions of dragging men, especially men who are only paying for sex, in and out of a child's life? Please. That doesn't make me arrogant or show that I have contempt, just that I'm smart enough not to get involved in situations that aren't going to be good for anyone. A man who is in a P4P relationship with me, no matter how much you want to try and romanticize it and act like I'm an asshole for seeing the reality of it, is not going to stick around, and is not someone who needs to be brought into a child's life. The whole point of an escort/client relationship is to maintain the no strings attached boundaries, and see a variety of people. Why would I expose my children to a situation where the whole point is for it not to last beyond X amount of time?

And do I even need to go into what can happen if the relationship ever soured? Ugh... how anyone could not shudder at the thought of bringing a child into that on purpose is a mystery to me.

You guys can try to insult me, and try to tell me I "don't get it", but the truth of the matter is that I am not a SB right now. Don't ask me questions about being an escort, and then try to act like I'm supposed to answer like I'm something else. I don't need to be a mother to know the law and how it pertains to my situation, or how to conduct myself to avoid bigger ramifications than necessary. Regardless of how you want to pretend is the right or wrong way to do things.

Now, as far as a "real SB" trusting a SD just as much with her kids if not more than any other man? Eh... If you say so. To me, a SD is unlikely to become a real father figure. If he's not in it for the long haul, he doesn't need to meet my kids. End of story, to me. Other people have different comfort zones, and that's fine. I just can't see anyone SD'ing me around for the 10 or so years it would take for me to be comfortable with that.

In the case of "You can know what you would be like as a parent, but I can't know what it's like to be an escort", you're comparing apples and oranges. Knowing that I wouldn't introduce children to clients is because of the law. It has nothing to do with actually being a mother or not. Bottom line, the kids should take precedence over whatever relationships I have going on, and I should do my best to protect them.

People that claim to know my business because they've been a client for a long time are only doing that because they think they have an idea, after hearing the watered down and sweetened up version over the years. You're getting a fantasy, even if it's not a very good one at the time. You will never know what's actually going through our heads, how we feel and what we go through in our daily lives, or the whole truth, and that goes for sugar babies too to an extent, no matter how much trust and respect is there. Men, especially seem to have a hard time understanding this. A woman could possibly identify with what we go through, but a man just cannot, no matter how much he hears about it. That's not a dig, there's just a lot that goes on in a girls head, a lot of outside factors, and this is a very complicated industry sometimes. Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

+1

Well, here's how I understand the different "levels", lol

Escorts see kind of whoever, depending on their needs at the time. The rates are usually $200-$1,000 an hour, and service can vary greatly. It should not take more than four emails to set something up, and each person generally goes on their merry way after the appointment until the client feels the need to contact her again.

Sugar babies see 3-4 people a month max, and it's because they have an ongoing financial agreement with those people. These girls devote MUCH more time to building and maintaining these relationships, and they are genuine relationships, compared to what one would have with an escort. SB's can be as inexpensive as 3k a month, or as expensive as 15k and up, depending on the amount of time and commitment the SD wants. While time is still a factor, it is much less important than when booking with an escort.

Kept women see one, maybe two people. They are in full blown, exclusive relationships with the gentleman, and often live at least close to where he is regularly. They go to or with him when he wants, and how he wants. He pays all bills, plus an allowance. Kept women, obviously, are not cheap.

I've been all three, and I much prefer being an escort or small time sugar baby. While it's nice to have a huge chunk of change coming every month, it's much nicer to know that saying no to one little thing isn't going to cost you everything. It's also pretty exhausting to be that worried about someone else all the time, and forgo things you know you need to do or that are important to you as a person because someone else said "drop everything and come be my plaything". Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

KEPT is KEPT.
ONY ONE MAN IN AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.
She gives an "allowance" and she is exclusively HIS.

KEPT is KEPT.
ONY ONE MAN IN AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.
She gives an "allowance" and she is exclusively HIS. Originally Posted by *GoddessDallas*

Thanks for your response. Do you have any personal experience or opinions on being kept?

Now, as far as SB/SD relationships being the "new model", eh... I really doubt that. It happens so infrequently because the majority of people don't want or can't have that kind of situation in their life, not because we hookers refuse to "rise to the challenge". It's great that you like it, and it's great that you've found ladies who want the same thing, but that doesn't mean everyone else is doing it wrong. Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

Excellent point. There are many men who would NEVER go for the "new model" because it's exactly opposite of what they're looking for from the hobby.

I'd love to hear from a lady who started out as a SB or kept and then became an escort.

Since Blad seems to be on a sabbatical, I'm guessing this thread will soon die a natural death. I want to thank everyone who participated.

Should anyone stray across this later, please feel free to PM me your thoughts, or start a new discussion. Thanks! I really enjoyed hearing everyone's thoughts!

xoxo,
LMx