Taylor - There is something very wrong with you.

And all you touch, and all you see, is all your life will ever be.....

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

I know you think you understood what I said, but what you heard was not what I meant.

EDIT: My font size button on the Quick Reply thingamajig disappeared. It's like my post ate one of those tea cakes from Alice in Wonderland. Oh em gee! Why is this message so BIG?!

I just had to see if the next message I posted would show up in giant "look at me" font, too.

EDIT: Message content has mysteriously shrunk back to its original, "normal" size. Am now curious as to whether ECCIE is messing with my mind... trying to make me think I'm crazy so they can talk about my insanity behind my back.

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me.

NATALIE STOP SCREAMING AT ME THANK YOU

Things in the mirror may appear larger then they are.

Teacher "can anybody use the word handsome in a sentence?" Little Suzy "When I'm suckin dick and my jaws get tired I use my handsome."

Taylor, you're a sick little girl... I like that in my women!

whether or not the side of the toast with the butter and jam lands on your carpet is directly proportionate to the cost of the carpet you are standing on......

Sometimes, when I'm feeling rebelious, I leave a message BEFORE the beep.

Could you make that burger with onions? Yes Onions!

Lachs me? She hardly KNEW me...!

Q: How do you know he's not a cop?
A: Because a cop wouldn't ask for me to fuck him up the ass.

Arresting officer testifying on the stand,"Only after she inserted three fingers in my anal cavity and began massaging my prostate did I feel I had probable cause to arrest her under suspicion of prostitution."

Defense Attorney: "And, officer, did you make the arrest immediately after arriving at the conclusion that you had probable cause to do so?"

Arresting Officer: "Well, um... uh... not immediately after."

Defense Attorney: "So you waited until you... ahem... "achieved release" before arresting the Defendant."

Arresting Officer: ::silence::