How to "break up" with a client?

Perfect! You go girl!

Perfect! You go girl! Originally Posted by SR Only

Word!

Word! Originally Posted by pjorourke

I had money on her going with your advice....I was guessing you were the expert in getting dumped!

That is the best approach. It is what Carrie and a few others had suggested. It is simple, direct, truthful and shows you have integrity.

Works for me as well.

After weighing the different options, I have decided to do the following.

I will be honest with him, but I will also grant myself the discretion I desire. Without going into details, I will graciously tell him that it has recently come to my knowledge that we are more closely connected in our personal lives than I previously anticipated, and thus I most end our hobby relationship as I am uncomfortable with those worlds intertwining.

How does that sound? Sane? I had a wonderfully long massage today so I'm in quite the tranquil mood. Originally Posted by Eliza

Someone telling me that would really make me curious just how close our worlds are. I think I might peek.

I had money on her going with your advice....I was guessing you were the expert in getting dumped! Originally Posted by WTF

Even if I was to be charitable and give you half a point for that half-wit attempt at humor, you'd still be down by a couple 100.

Even if I was to be charitable and give you half a point for that half-wit attempt at humor, you'd still be down by a couple 100. Originally Posted by pjorourke

Ohh... that's gonna leave a mark! BARKEEP! Can we get a beer for our "friend" so he can put the flames out?

Someone telling me that would really make me curious just how close our worlds are. I think I might peek. Originally Posted by GP

I believe he is the type of man that would respect my wishes. However, if his curiosity does get the best of him and he finds me in the "normal" world, I am going to silently plead the fifth and be as oblivious as ever. From an outsider's view (e.g. someone who has no experience with the hobby world), any claims made about me being an escort and him a client would seem outrageous and outlandish. We just don't fit the stereotypical notion that people unfamiliar with this particular facet of the hobby world have.

Anyways, my game plan if anything should surface (although I am 99% sure the seas will be calm from now on) is to graciously deny and propose the idea as being so unrealistic, it's humorous.

After weighing the different options, I have decided to do the following.

I will be honest with him, but I will also grant myself the discretion I desire. Without going into details, I will graciously tell him that it has recently come to my knowledge that we are more closely connected in our personal lives than I previously anticipated, and thus I most end our hobby relationship as I am uncomfortable with those worlds intertwining.

How does that sound? Sane? I had a wonderfully long massage today so I'm in quite the tranquil mood. Originally Posted by Eliza

I happen to disagree with your decision Eliza, but it's your life, and you must do what you think is right.

It seems to me that you are giving much more weight to your own minor discomfort based only on a small possibility than to the certain pain he is going to feel by your decision.

You would do well to remember that karma demands that all pain we cause to others must be repaid and it doesn't matter if you believe in karma or not.

I wish you and him all the best, but break it to him gently! He's done nothing to deserve the bomb you're going to drop on him!

Just tell him your getting married

I happen to disagree with your decision Eliza, but it's your life, and you must do what you think is right.

It seems to me that you are giving much more weight to your own minor discomfort based only on a small possibility than to the certain pain he is going to feel by your decision.

You would do well to remember that karma demands that all pain we cause to others must be repaid and it doesn't matter if you believe in karma or not.

I wish you and him all the best, but break it to him gently! He's done nothing to deserve the bomb you're going to drop on him!
Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Now, now - did I ever say that I was going to be abrasive toward him? I am far too much a lady to ever treat anyone harshly except in dire circumstances (such as a person is hitting a child). I will break the situation to him with all the gentleness and grace I possess. What did you think I was going to say? Hey buddy, party's over. See ya never!

I must comment though on the "pain" he is going to feel. Yes, he may feel a temporary sense of loss, but this type of relationship isn't exactly a breeding ground for commitment. Despite the nature of our relationship, it is still business. One should understand that the other party (whether client or provider) does not owe the other anything beyond the arrangement. There is no obligation to continue the relationship for the sake of the other person. I would hope (and believe) he is mature enough to realize that.

It seems to me that you are giving much more weight to your own minor discomfort based only on a small possibility than to the certain pain he is going to feel by your decision.
Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Maybe I missed something in this thread, or maybe I have become jaded. She only saw him five times in five months. I think her explanation was fine.

Anyways, my game plan if anything should surface (although I am 99% sure the seas will be calm from now on) is to graciously deny and propose the idea as being so unrealistic, it's humorous. Originally Posted by Eliza

SOP

this type of relationship isn't exactly a breeding ground for commitment. Despite the nature of our relationship, it is still business. One should understand that the other party (whether client or provider) does not owe the other anything beyond the arrangement. There is no obligation to continue the relationship for the sake of the other person. I would hope (and believe) he is mature enough to realize that. Originally Posted by Eliza

You certainly are one tough business woman, Eliza and I wouldn't want you as an enemy!

I just hope he is as tough as you appear to be to endure the unexpected and undeserved pain he's about to receive.

I wonder if you will remain as stoic when it comes time to pay the karma piper?

You certainly are one tough business woman, Eliza and I wouldn't want you as an enemy!

I just hope he is as tough as you appear to be to endure the unexpected and undeserved pain he's about to receive.

I wonder if you will remain as stoic when it comes time to pay the karma piper? Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Unexpected and undeserved pain? You make it seem as if I was dating the guy and telling him how in love I was with him and wanted to go swoon around in Paris arm in arm (which actually doesn't sound like a too bad idea! any takers? the Paris part, of course lol)

I am far from stoic, but naturally my mental and emotional comfort is a priority for me. I doubt any true gentleman would push a lady to see him when he knows she is genuinely uncomfortable with the situation. Why should I sacrifice the stability of my personal life for a client?