I grew up in a single parent home (dad is a recovering crack addict, so he was NEVER around, and when he was it was HELL) in a small town in the South where the economy has, IMHO, always been crappy. She had to take care of 5 kids (2 boys, 3 girls). My mom worked full time as a secretary at a college. Since my dad was officially gone from our lives, we qualified for public assistance. The idea really bothered her, but wth was she to do with 5 step ladder aged children when she couldn't feed them. She decided to take advantage of the help and even signed up to go back to college. She had 5 kids at home, so furthering her education was a long and tedious road. When she got her Bachelor's degree, she got a small promotion and a $1 raise. She reported her new income and was informed that it put us some odd amount of change over the maximum income for public assistance qualifications. She made NOTHING CLOSE to what she needed to take care of us, AND she was still in school. But, because her job gave her a little extra (to THEM, at least) change, we were dropped. She kept working her ass off, kept going to school, and finally got her Master's degree at 39. BETTER JOB, BETTER LIFE. THIS is a first hand example of a woman who worked hard, stayed focused (through all the strife), and took advantage of the system in the RIGHT way. She didn't lie, cheat, or steal from taxpayers.Elle,
In my case, I AM a single mother. Because child support hasn't started (don't we just LOVE our gov't), I get absolutely ZERO support from the EX. Do I run down to the foodstamp office or the housing office with a sob story of how I'm a single mother with not one, but TWO small children who I get no support for? No. I don't. Why not? Because in my opinion, there is no way I should be in this line of work needing public assistance. Am I an honest person? Yes. Am I hard working? Yes. Do I have family to help with childcare? No. I don't have family help with childcare because I don't live near family. Even if I did live near family, I never ASSUME that they would help me with childcare. Yes, it would be GREAT if they did, but at the end of the day, my children are just that, MINE. I made the choice to have them, and I can't EVER assume that anyone but myself will make sure they are taken care of and provided for. BUT, I do have common sense, I know that there are reliable resources that have nothing to do with family as far as childcare is concerned. Do I live in a "busted rust belt city" where the best job is a Wal-Mart cashier and you have to "know someone" to even be considered for hire? YES, lol. My advertising and profile may not reflect so, but I do. BUT, because I have found the needed resources, I am afforded the luxury of being able to be where I need to be when I need to be there. Public transportation? Non-existent. But, if you can get a ride to the foodstamp/housing office to apply for assistance, I'm sure you can get a ride to other places as well. Are the reasons you listed all pretty valid excuses for a single mother/provider to seek assistance? Yes, they are. But, you have to recognize them just for what they are, EXCUSES. I have all the makings for the PERFECT setup to cheat the system. This interests me in no shape, form, or fashion. Maybe if I was in a different line of work I'd feel different. I am a provider who has set a a standard, works hard, and applies myself. I don't wait for people to do something for me. Seriously, I get up off my ass and get it done myself. I came into the hobby alone a very short time ago. Because I have applied myself (reaching out to various experienced, reputable providers and hobbyists and actually taking their advice and direction to heart), I have gotten pretty far and made some very good connections. Am I high volume? No. Would I like to make more money? Who doesn't? But, these are not excuses either because a smart and responsible person lives on a planned budget, even the rich. Do I splurge every now and then? Damn right, because I have the RIGHT to. I work hard, I live/spend sensibly within my means, and BOTH of my kids have money put away. But, a responsible provider can buy herself something special every now and then because all her other ducks are in order.
All of that to say that coming from BOTH sides of this track (experiencing a TRUE need for public assistance as a child and being a single mother provider with NO support) I agree wholeheartedly with:
If you work hard and put good energy into the atmosphere, kismet will turn that good karma back on you. If all you do is sit around making excuses for why you're living the way you are and waiting for a handout, then you'll forever remain stuck in the rut you dwell in. The situation I grew up in along with the demise of a relationship leaving me with two children to fend for on my own are the perfect circumstances to make someone a "statistic". But, your life is YOURS and can only be what YOU make of it. I guess my values and determination are too strong for me feel comfortable cruising through life on excuses. Originally Posted by Lovelyelle_01
It took me a while to write this and keep it under a couple pages; it’s still long, but it’s a sore topic with me because of what I have seen up close. You bring up several related points but you digress from the original post.
First, congratulations to you for what you have accomplished, and congratulations to your mom. No sarcasm on my part at all--I mean it very sincerely. That is not easy and it takes a very mentally tough woman to do that. If she or you decided not to use the assistance available and made it anyway, more power to you.
If you are hard over against any government assistance to anyone, I would disagree but at least you would be intellectually honest. But the OP's issue was not "I'm angry that anyone is on public assistance", it was only directed at escorts.
Also, if you want to debate the details of what public assistance should be, I have no issue with that. Given the cost of safe child care and of transportation, one has to wonder about the limits in the law today. If you want to argue about the insane rules that penalize people for trying to take any min wage job they can, I 100% agree with you. But that too was not the OP's point.
Again, I have no issues at all with your criticism of people who cheat the system by not reporting income, etc. That too was not the OP's point.
My point is very simple: the rules are what they are. They are based on how much you earn. And I see no reason whatsoever that the rules for being on public assistance should be a function of what line of work you are in. If you have kids, make below the limit allowed, claim your earnings, and follow the other (often stupid) rules why should public assistance be available to the person who flips burgers or greets at Wal-Mart but not to the escort?
What is the argument for singling out one profession over the others? Don’t give me the “they should earn more”, for that argument can be made about every single occupation. Yes, lots of ladies earn more than the limit. They should not get any help. How does that carry over to the others who don't?
Lots of women DO work in this industry in part because they do not feel they can get a living wage at anything else. Single parenthood is rampant here. Psychological issues are very common in this business. Lack of self esteem is abundant.
I saw a post above about raising rates, that there are some HDH who are not stunningly beautiful nor are they 20 y/o. Absolutely true, but one trait they almost all have is they can move smoothly in a social environment, and most are available for multi-hour and overnight dates in various locations (i.e. they can travel). Great for them! Seriously. I wish all the ladies had the ability to do that. They don't. They may lack the self confidence, the wardrobe, the babysitter they trust to watch their kids overnight on short notice (or for a week). They usually aren't the ladies who can converse on here ad hold their own in an on-line debate.
Some of the ladies who have been praised and lauded as the best in the business, some of the ladies who have charged more per hour than I could afford, have suffered from some very debilitating psychological issues. Nice of everyone to say they shouldn’t work, but at least in this job they can work the one or two weeks their depression clinical lets them function normally. It’s hard to hold a “real job” when you have so many days you can’t work. That is one of the reasons this business attracts women with some of those issues.
I won't even get into a diatribe about the dead-beat dads who provide no support, fiscal or time or emotional to their kids but come on boards like this one and berate the mother for not working harder. Being mobile, working odd unpredictable hours, and living temporarily in a very seedy neighborhood is a whole lot easier as a guy with no responsibilities than it is for a mom with kids.
I know too many stories first hand of ladies who don't fit the model of many here. The ladies on this board are a minority of the escorts, and generally the ones who have made good. I truly am happy for them. To think all the others are welfare cheating drug addicts is beyond self righteous.
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Sorry for my sloppy reading. Yes i also agree that escorts should pay taxes. That is what all the busts are about IMHO. 
There are ways to pay taxes no matter what you do. and how illegal it is. Granted, being busted on DD is different than being busted on escorting, but just because it`s illegal does not entitle you to rip off the state :-).