Biggest Turn Off, that one thing that really bugs you???

I hate when my hooker puts her gum in my belly button before give n me head. That's when the head board is for........ Originally Posted by sinkerswim

Just thinck of it as a lint removal service the lady is providing.

Just thinck of it as a lint removal service the lady is providing. Originally Posted by pyramider

It comes in handy as a candle holder too.

This definitely plants a seed in my mind, as I always believed "selfies" are unprofessional.

Notes have been taken! Originally Posted by CompanionSofia

Selfies are unprofessional in my eyes unless done tastefully. But no need to Photoshop extensively...to where you show up and the lady you thought was a 10 is a frumpy four. Glad to put something on your mind , hun.

I hate it when they call me Horse Cock or Strappin Hoss. It is so degrading. I feel like a piece of meat.

Okay. Okay. I am lying, nobody has ever called me that.

It comes in handy as a candle holder too. Originally Posted by bojulay

I totally understand. Plus, the navel is also good at opening stubborn bottles.

Originally Posted by Bestman200600

That's a beautiful picture of a lady no matter who hates who around here. The only thought that comes to my mind after peeking at that one is: "edible"

Really...edible

The usual stuff: bad breath, schweaty balls, wild jungle hair where my mouth might have liked to go, being rude or disrespectful in person or when they walk in like they are inspecting the place for pimps - wtf!?

One thing that really turned me off recently was the degree of lapdoggery that goes on. I used to think having a provider as your avatar was pretty harmless but I don't blame ladies who won't see a guy over this - I sure won't anymore. He could be telling her everything about his visits with other ladies: location, personal info, etc. Not cool. Major turn off. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

LOL @ schweaty balls

That word "schweaty" is burned in my mind now...

No one can resist my schweaty balls.... ROFL.

Smokers who pretend they are not. I don't care how many showers you take or how many times you brush your teeth, when we kiss I can taste and I CAN taste else where. Originally Posted by jimlizardking

+1,000,000,000

Aside from the usual (messy/dirty incall, bad breath, needed a shower, smelly coochie, etc.)...

I happen to be cigarette smoke sensitive. Not sure why since none my immediate family members, parents and siblings, were smokers.

So, the one thing I cannot stand is if a provider has in her profile (ECCIE/P411) that she is a non-smoker but she actually is. Depending on how heavy the smell is, I might be able to withstand it for a few minutes but eventually it wears me down. Even she has a very light cigarette smell, within 15 minutes of close contact I will start to feel nauseated. By the 30 minute mark, I just have to get away from her and take an hour long shower to get the cigarette smell off of me.

I recall one provider in particular where her profile said non-smoker but someone later on posted a pic of her (from updated pics in her profile, no less) with a cigarette in her hand. She was clearly busted and she has since changed her profile to say she is the "occasional/social" smoker.

Personally, I think it is just plain rude to lie like that and make someone else feel VERY uncomfortable.

Just my 2-cents worth.

netman

Scheddy Balls from SNL Delicious Dish. It never gets old.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li...-balls/n11184/

Margaret Jo McCullen.....Ana Gasteyer
Teri Rialto.....Molly Shannon
Pete Schweddy.....Alec Baldwin


Teri Rialto: Please welcome the owner of Season's Eatings - Pete Schweddy.

[ Pete pulls up to his mike ]

Margeret Jo McCullen: Well, Pete, Teri and I have been looking forward to having you on the show, 'cause we know you're the master of all kinds of Christmas goodies. Tell us about them.

Pete Schweddy: Well, there are lots of great treats this time of year - Zucchini Bread, Fruitcake.. but the thing that I most like to bring out this time of year are my Balls.

Teri Rialto: Mmm.. Balls.. Tell us about your Balls, Pete.

Pete Schweddy: Well, over at Season's Eatings, we have Balls for every taste. Popcorn Balls, Cheese Balls, Rum Balls.. you name it.

Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow! My mouth's watering just thinking about those Balls!

Teri Rialto: It's been years since I've seen any Balls.

Pete Schweddy: Would you like to see my Balls now?

Margeret Jo McCullen: Yeah. Whip them out.

[ Pete places a tray of Balls on the control board ]

Teri Rialto: Mmm.. wow.. you have some beautiful Balls..

Margeret Jo McCullen: They're bigger than I expected.

Pete Schweddy: A lot of people tell me that.

Margeret Jo McCullen: Look at that, Teri - the way they glisten.

Pete Schweddy: That's because make sure that each one of my Balls gets plenty of oil.

Margeret Jo McCullen: I can't help but, notice, Pete - your Balls are a little misshapen.

Pete Schweddy: That's because I rested them on a hot stove too long.

Teri Rialto: Can I touch your Balls.

Pete Schweddy: Go ahead. But be careful, they're very delicate.

Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow. I can't wait to get my mouth around his Balls.

Teri Rialto: [ sniffing ] Ooh.. I like the way your Balls smell..

Pete Schweddy: Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure.

Margeret Jo McCullen: [ chewing ] Wow, Pete.. I have to say - your Balls are so tender..

Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.

Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow.. Schweddy Balls. Nothing like a Schweddy Ball.

Teri Rialto: Good Balls.

Margeret Jo McCullen: Mmm.. good times.

Teri Rialto: Good times.. Mmm.. our producer is telling us it's time to wrap it up.

Margeret Jo McCullen: That's all the time we have today, Teri. So, join us next week, when our topic will be that other holiday favorite..

Margaret Jo & Teri - ..Fragrant, Flavored Nuts.

Pete Schweddy: A quick plug! If you order from Season's Eatings now, you can still send out a special Schweddy Ball Sack in time.

Margeret Jo McCullen: Great idea. My niece would love a Sack of Schweddy Balls...

[ fade out ]

That shit is funNYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Hahahahaha! Thanks EL214. I bet I'm gonna have lots of schweddy ball requests now. Lol!

Then you'd better stock up...

Do they even sell that still??? I would keep it on hand fa sho!!