Funny Stuff & Jokes

Who shared a recent experience.....

The return of MANNY the WASHROOM ATTENDANT

So last night I was working at the club when I went into the washroom to take a leak. As I walked into the washroom I noticed the ever-beloved washroom attendant. This guy was not the usual African washroom attendant; he looked kind of Filipino.

I stood there with that uncomfortable feeling you get while pissing when someone’s watching you. I finished and walked over to the sink to wash my hands. As I turn the water on he squirts a bit of liquid soap into my hands. Then he asks, “can I polish your helmet?” Not sure if I’d heard him right, I gave him a “what”. Then he reaches down and grips my package like he was gripping a baseball about to throw a knuckle ball and says it again, “can I polish your helmet?”
He says since he has had a dry spell for a few weeks and working with strippers and watching titties all night puts a strain on the testicular chemicals I figured what the hell I’ll try anything once.
This guy reaches down, undoes my zipper and gently takes out the big lad and flops it onto the sink. He turns on the water, squirts a little liquid soap into his hands and starts stroking my manhood with amazing rhythm. Afraid of the embarrassment if someone walked in, I close my eyes and started to imagine that it was one of the girls working that night that was doing the stroking.
A few moments go by and I feel my toes start to curl and my ass cheeks clinch tight and suddenly I unloaded on the counter knocking over his bottles of Polo and Obsession. It was like shooting tin cans off a wooden fence. He gently rinses off the big lad with some luke warm water, dries him off and tucks it back into my pants for me.
Standing there unsure of what just had happened, I awkwardly started digging into my pocket looking for a couple quarters to tip this guy. Without hesitation this guy pipes up and says “that’s ok mister bouncerman, that ones on the house”. Still feeling overwhelmed I start for the door when this guy grabs me by the arm and says “my names Manny and I’m here all week”.

God damn, I thought you guys were just shitting about this guy but it’s true, Manny's alive and well.

What do you call 40 millionaires watching super bowl on TV?















The Buffalo Bills....

@ Bluee

When I was a youngster I asked my dad for $5 to buy a guinea pig.

He gave me $10 and told me to get a nice Irish girl.

what did you do with the extra five dollars?

LMFAO!!!!!.......

LMFAO!!!!!....... Originally Posted by Celso

that was a great next post by kor

that was a great next post by kor Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

It soitionly was!!!......
It should get a dozen likes!!!......

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?" "Yes" says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite counter tops."

Celso...I just spit up a little through my nose. That one was a beauty!

How do you make a gay love vagina again?

Pack it full of shit!!!