Kitty, I would never feel like a victim. That's for sure. And if anyone ever dare tried to make me a victim, well, all I have to say is good luck to them and I wish them well. Because they would need plenty of luck by the time I was done with them.
Kitty, you write well. You obviously are fairly intelligent in my opinion, (even though you do dumb shit constantly.) Do you ever think about another way to make money other than this? If this job stresses you out so much and doesn't pay the bills, why not move on to something else? I don't think this job is for everyone, and no offense, but it sure the fuck is not for you....Just a thought.
Either way, I do sincerely wish you the best of luck. I really hope things get better for you. Keep your chin up!