Hobby perspective after some years?

I think if you sincrely treat others the way you want to be treated then you are acting in the interest of the greater good. You can't control how other people act or what they do with your actions toward them. Nor do their actions justify retaliation on a personal level. Idk yet if people get what they deserve. I still believe that reckless selfish people end up with most of the pie but it won't keep me from doing what I know in my heart is right. Just because you are kind to others for your own personal benefit doesn't negate the fact that you are being nice. Treating others kindly is treating others kindly no matter how you slice it or serve it.

I think if you sincrely treat others the way you want to be treated then you are acting in the interest of the greater good. You can't control how other people act or what they do with your actions toward them. Nor do their actions justify retaliation on a personal level. Idk yet if people get what they deserve. I still believe that reckless selfish people end up with most of the pie but it won't keep me from doing what I know in my heart is right. Just because you are kind to others for your own personal benefit doesn't negate the fact that you are being nice. Treating others kindly is treating others kindly no matter how you slice it or serve it. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Bingo!

That's pretty much it.

Being nice takes less energy than being an asshole. Being nice requires no energy. Being an asshole requires some effort, at least a little. Some people put a lot of effort into being assholes though, researching every post, thread, review, favorite sports teams, etc.

Going out of your way to piss off a provider because you dint like her favorite sports team.... Huge asshole and requires effort. Reading someone else's posts and always replying with a dickish comment, also being an asshole and requires effort.

I agree with a lot of what you guys are saying but going out of your way to be an asshole requires effort. I've done it. We all have. The amount of it that goes on here is mind boggling though. And the fact that.its tolerated from some because they were from aspd, long time members or whatever is BS.

I'm an asshole, but only when provoked. And trust me the rules here are not applied fairly.in this regard. If they were I'd have carte Blanche to respond in kind to a few certain individuals, but I get points for calling a duck a duck it seems.

So in conclusion, being an asshole requires effort and some people here spend monumental effort being monumental assholes. And then the week willed non thinkers pat them on the back for it.

So this "community" really is just like any other, only the names have changed.

So next time someone is expending a lot of effort being a colossal douche nozzle at least be honest that it takes effort. People are not naturally asdholes. It's learned behavior. And in a lot of cases its a natural response to the actions of the "community". I've seen a lot of providers and members attacked by assholes repeatedly and most of the time undeservingly.

I can name 5 providers that didn't deserve and still don't deserve the shit they take from the asdholes around here.

Now I will sit back and watch the assholes come at me while hiding in amonymity for stating the obvious.

Being an assholes requires effort.... And around here monumental efforts ate often made for this purpose.

Want to have a happy new year? Expend less effort. Originally Posted by pfmtony

I think if you sincrely treat others the way you want to be treated then you are acting in the interest of the greater good. You can't control how other people act or what they do with your actions toward them. Nor do their actions justify retaliation on a personal level. Idk yet if people get what they deserve. I still believe that reckless selfish people end up with most of the pie but it won't keep me from doing what I know in my heart is right. Just because you are kind to others for your own personal benefit doesn't negate the fact that you are being nice. Treating others kindly is treating others kindly no matter how you slice it or serve it. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Isn't that what I posted?

In a tainted sort of way, ya

I think if you sincrely treat others the way you want to be treated then you are acting in the interest of the greater good. You can't control how other people act or what they do with your actions toward them. Nor do their actions justify retaliation on a personal level. Idk yet if people get what they deserve. I still believe that reckless selfish people end up with most of the pie but it won't keep me from doing what I know in my heart is right. Just because you are kind to others for your own personal benefit doesn't negate the fact that you are being nice. Treating others kindly is treating others kindly no matter how you slice it or serve it. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

100% agree. Very nicely state, My Hot Nurse. xoxo

I think if you sincrely treat others the way you want to be treated then you are acting in the interest of the greater good. You can't control how other people act or what they do with your actions toward them. Nor do their actions justify retaliation on a personal level. Idk yet if people get what they deserve. I still believe that reckless selfish people end up with most of the pie but it won't keep me from doing what I know in my heart is right. Just because you are kind to others for your own personal benefit doesn't negate the fact that you are being nice. Treating others kindly is treating others kindly no matter how you slice it or serve it. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Recent events that I have been involved in make me really appreciate this sentiment.

I took an opportunity to intervene in a situation that was very hard for another person. I basically told that person I have their back on some things and gave them a little break and treated them to some much-needed care.

And, yes, it was stated up front that in doing so, I was going to need some help on some of my needs in return.

In the past, this has always ended up not as well as hoped (to put it really softly). And each of those times, I have had to walk away. I cannot help but admit a very real trepidation that I am, once again, repeating a mistake made too many times.

Regardless of the outcome, I believe I did someone a good turn. And if things work out as they should, then I can see things being very mutually beneficial for both of us. I really would like to see the principle of finding ways to meet each others needs work out.

There is so much more I could go on with, and at this time, some equally unpleasant things I have to deal with in the social areas of my life.

I hope it all works out, Rheke. You seem like a really nice guy.

I hope it all works out, Rheke. You seem like a really nice guy. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Heh, I'm not so sure I want to be known as a "nice guy". Too often that means, "sucker".

What I am is very empathetic. I am very much able to extrapolate what another person is thinking and feeling based on my own experiences and observations. I am the type who tends to give people a chance to show who they are while giving them some insight as to who I am.

There's a few things I notice about some people that really both annoy and amuse me.

I have an incredible "spidey-sense" / bullshit meter and I can see through a lie extremely well. I prefer to deal in honesty. The ironic thing is that I had to learn, as a child, to lie extremely well in order to survive an unfortunate situation. And if I choose, I know exactly how to formulate and maintain the most effective falsehoods. As a result, most people's lies to me seem clumsy and laughable. And I will give someone just enough rope to show me their honesty and call them out.

You don't really need to lie to me. The idea of informed choice is almost sacred to me. In order to make any sort of contract or relationship work, there has to be a meeting of the minds. You tell me your needs and what you can do, I share mine and if they match, or if we can find an acceptable middle ground, we can do business.

Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Just lay out what it is and in most cases I'm flexible enough to find a way to make things work to a mutually positive outcome. I love win-win situations.

I'm not really a nice guy. I have a huge stripe of nasty, black, dark, meanness inside me that frightens me. What I have is a caged monster. When I was a kid, I had this dream. It started with my family sitting at the dinner table, dead, eviscerated. And then this thing is chasing me. It's claws and blood and teeth and drool and it finally catches me. And as I feel its claws sinking into my belly and ripping and feel its breath tainted with stale blood and drool across my face, I realize that monster is me.

I wish I'd saved the poem I wrote in my high school creative writing class about that dream. The teacher loved it, and after reading it out load, one kid in the class actually said I was one sick bastard.

That was when I was 6, that I had that dream.

I have a very interesting self-image. Even my family does not really understand it. The women tend to think I feel like a bad person or something. They always want to tell me I'm a good person.

That's not really what it is. What I am is what I choose to be. That is independent of what I am capable of. In my life I have been pushed to some extremes and I know exactly what I will do when backed into a corner. And while I choose not to let that monster have free roam over my choices, I do draw internal strength from knowing that the only way you will ever keep me down is to kill me. You can beat me down as much as you want to try, I won't stop fighting back and I've taken worse beatings from better than you.

I think I actually have a pretty decent concept of who I am and I do factor in both my strengths and weaknesses. I'm strong enough to look at things I don't do well and do things to make changes when I have to. I'm proud of my successes and I learn from my failures and most of all I have taken everything that life has thrown at me and found some way to use it to my advantage.

But, I'm not the prototypical "nice guy". I'm an asshole too.

Earlier this year I was reading "The Game".

http://www.amazon.com/Game-Neil-Stra...words=the+game

And a few things really struck me. First off, yeah, I do some of the "nice guy" things. Not all the time, not all of them. For the most part, I think that's mainly the effect of being in the generation I am and what I learned about romance and courtship.

But the other thing is that I do not suffer from issues talking to women. I have absolutely no fears about asking a women out and telling her exactly what is on my mind and she can say yes, or no and I'm just fine with whatever.

I do get irritated at dating games, and when a girl doesn't have the fortitude to give an honest answer, a straight-up yes or no or maybe. We all like different things and who I am does not depend one fucking iota on what you think of me.

Now, if you're a friend, and you've shown your value over time and you have something valuable to tell me that will help me in life, even if it's negative, that's a different story.

But most of the time, I'm really engaging my personal curiosity about someone and trying to see if they can handle being real with me. I like real. I'm real. Let's be real together and find a way to make each others life better. If it ain't there, let's go our different ways and good luck.

I stopped getting nervous about asking girls out in high school. I only ever stammered at it once, and that was before high school. I really don't get the incredible poor self-esteem of PUA's. For the most part, it was an interesting read and there is value there in understanding how women can behave.

Just because I let a situation play out to a degree does not mean I am fooled in the least. Particularly now. I will give a person a chance to do the right thing. And I will take care of the people who take care of me. But I have also let a person think they were having their way just to study them for my own reasons.

There is one branch of my family that is filled with some of the most cunning, manipulative people I've ever met. I'm not stupid. I just want to see who you really are. If you act halfway decent, have my back when you say you do, then I'll find some way to have your back within my limits. Otherwise, you will be kicking rocks.

Most people think they are more special than they really are. Myself included. But every time, without exception, when a person has chosen to ignore what I have told them about me, when they thought they could pull a fast one, they have ended up in a far worse situation. And they do it to themselves. Every time.

The smart people, they hear me. And they benefit from knowing me.

I might have a thing for rescuing kittens. But when a cat keeps spraying and being destructive, it goes to the pound. It's all about the choices you make.

I guess I'd sum it up as saying I prefer to be nice. I prefer to find ways to work with people. It's a choice I make. But I will walk away and let Life pound your ass into the ground if you act stupid. Push me to the point where I don't care, hit those buttons that set me off, and I guarantee you, I have the ability to shut off whatever emotion I think I have for you in less than a split second.

I'm not nice, I just try to be nice. You can benefit from being a part of my life, or you can enjoy sleeping in your own mess, that's on you.

Your level of unawares is staggering. Congratulations.

I have been in the hobby for 2 years. I have meet some very nice ladies and some not so nice. I always try to be kind and pleasant. I too have come to look for a connection or a friendship. I suppose in a way that is more demanding than sexual acts. I have come to need dfk and gfe to have a chance of a successful session.
I have learned this is hard to come by. I don't know if any of the ladies are really my friend.
They did not begin in the hobby to find friends. So I suppose this is an unrealistic objective. It is just my way. I look for kindness in people. I may well leave the hobby I am not sure I am narcisitic enough for it.

I have been in the hobby for 2 years. I have meet some very nice ladies and some not so nice. I always try to be kind and pleasant. I too have come to look for a connection or a friendship. I suppose in a way that is more demanding than sexual acts. I have come to need dfk and gfe to have a chance of a successful session.
I have learned this is hard to come by. I don't know if any of the ladies are really my friend.
They did not begin in the hobby to find friends. So I suppose this is an unrealistic objective. It is just my way. I look for kindness in people. I may well leave the hobby I am not sure I am narcisitic enough for it. Originally Posted by diddleman

Aww, please don't leave.

It's about having fun and enjoying yourself. Lots of ladies are genuinely kind here but yes most of us have at least a little narcissism or we wouldn't be providers in the first place. It's all about balance - especially in Asian Cowgirl!!

So true diddleman, while some guys are just looking for a "fuck toy", the majority on this thread have agreed to express their need of a true companion ... and this is the motif why we hobby ...

Also true that the motif why the ladies hobby is because they have chosen this profession to make a living and not to make friends ... I can testify though that you will find the kindness you're looking for, in many ladies here ... I would add that I have made wonderful friends through my years in the hobby ...

I have been in the hobby for 2 years. I have meet some very nice ladies and some not so nice. I always try to be kind and pleasant. I too have come to look for a connection or a friendship. I suppose in a way that is more demanding than sexual acts. I have come to need dfk and gfe to have a chance of a successful session.
I have learned this is hard to come by. I don't know if any of the ladies are really my friend.
They did not begin in the hobby to find friends. So I suppose this is an unrealistic objective. It is just my way. I look for kindness in people. I may well leave the hobby I am not sure I am narcisitic enough for it. Originally Posted by diddleman

Being nice takes less energy than being an asshole. Being nice requires no energy. Being an asshole requires some effort, at least a little. Some people put a lot of effort into being assholes though, researching every post, thread, review, favorite sports teams, etc.

Going out of your way to piss off a provider because you dint like her favorite sports team.... Huge asshole and requires effort. Reading someone else's posts and always replying with a dickish comment, also being an asshole and requires effort.

I agree with a lot of what you guys are saying but going out of your way to be an asshole requires effort. I've done it. We all have. The amount of it that goes on here is mind boggling though. And the fact that.its tolerated from some because they were from aspd, long time members or whatever is BS.

I'm an asshole, but only when provoked. And trust me the rules here are not applied fairly.in this regard. If they were I'd have carte Blanche to respond in kind to a few certain individuals, but I get points for calling a duck a duck it seems.

So in conclusion, being an asshole requires effort and some people here spend monumental effort being monumental assholes. And then the week willed non thinkers pat them on the back for it.

So this "community" really is just like any other, only the names have changed.

So next time someone is expending a lot of effort being a colossal douche nozzle at least be honest that it takes effort. People are not naturally asdholes. It's learned behavior. And in a lot of cases its a natural response to the actions of the "community". I've seen a lot of providers and members attacked by assholes repeatedly and most of the time undeservingly.

I can name 5 providers that didn't deserve and still don't deserve the shit they take from the asdholes around here.

Now I will sit back and watch the assholes come at me while hiding in amonymity for stating the obvious.

Being an assholes requires effort.... And around here monumental efforts ate often made for this purpose.

Want to have a happy new year? Expend less effort. Originally Posted by pfmtony

Take it from me, being nice and trying to keep things positive around here with all this overwhelming negativity DOES take energy. It's sad to see how cruel people can be to each other. But me personally will not partake in any of that. If I don't like something said, I ignore and move on. There's way more important things going on in the world. Life is what WE make it. (Just my two cents) xo

Its true that takes effort to keep things positive Jessica but I can assure you that you have your reward already ...
From your posts I can tell you're a sweetheart ... and many people can see that too ...
I know also you like all of us, have a mental list of people you like and people you don't care for ... don't you?
Undoubtedly we reap what we sow ...

Take it from me, being nice and trying to keep things positive around here with all this overwhelming negativity DOES take energy. It's sad to see how cruel people can be to each other. But me personally will not partake in any of that. If I don't like something said, I ignore and move on. There's way more important things going on in the world. Life is what WE make it. (Just my two cents) xo Originally Posted by Jessica Jade;1y054794292