What to hear fthe hobbyist opinion...

Since this business relies on the hobbyist opinions and reviews of a provider, I want to get your view on how I could have handle this better...

Last week, I had a client book an early morning session. Normally I wouldn't have even taken (and won't ever do it again) a 6:15 session, but for some reason this guy peaked my interest. I knew it was a tad risky because he couldn't be verified through any of my usual means. There just wasn't anything on him period. (I know should have been a clue to not book, but I am human.)

Anyway, it was originally set for yesterday morning, but thanks to a lovely pollen rich tree outside my room and a heavy dose of Benedryl, I missed the appointment. I did text to apologize and his only response was to ask when he could see me. So I rescheduled for this morning.

This is where things started to get weird. He called as discussed to let me know he was 20 minutes away. He asked about donation (not a big deal but something I never discuss and had told him that before) and informs me that he only has 20 minutest do has to be at work at 7. I stumble through the conversation because this is something I just don't do...I am not the slam bam thank you ma'am provider. Not sure what to say or do I give him my room number and head to the shower.

Immediately when the water hits me and I wake up completely, my spidey senses are at full alert. So I shower quickly and call him back within five minutes to cancel. I am straight up about not being comfortable with the last minute notice of his time restriction and mentioned his asking last minute about donation. He tried to argue/convince me and I ended up hanging up.

I wasn't sure if I cancelled because I thought he was a cop, didn't like the way I knew I would feel about the session if I did a quickie, or if I was worried about him being a little nuts. I received confirmation it was the latter two when 15 minutes later he called to tell me he was here and wanted to see me. He sat in the parking lot in a very loud vehicle making his presence known TO EVERYONE IN THE HOTEL. Cancelling his appointment that close to the session time made me feel a little wrong. However, under the circumstances (and he didn't live very far away) that feeling didn't last.

Short of refusing when I couldn't find more verification on him, how could I have handled this better?

(Side note: I almost wondered if this wasn't our mysterious whiner Froggy/Mojo???? (I can't keep up with his handles or locations))

Thanks for your advice in advance.

XOXOX

Sarah Renee

Sarah Renee,
I do believe this problem first started when you agreed to meet without fully screening this guy. From this point on it appears to be a new guy that has no idea how this works. In his mind you cancelled on him the first time with a pollen issue. He may not have believed you. He had things arranged for the meet and then it was cancelled by you. He then made an offer to meet the next day but might not have had the same set of plans available so he only had time for a shorter visit. This guy does not know you or your policies on short visits. YOU CANCELLED AGAIN! I have no idea what goes through his mind but I would think his mind thought is you were messing with him so he is going to mess with you. When playing "getting even" which this sounds like nobody wins.
Forget about this guy. Let it go. Don't let this get under your skin. You started the problem and now regret you made a mistake. When you make the mistake and then cancel twice you caused a potential client to think you were f*****g with him so now he is f*****g with you.

Default Just my opinion
Sarah Renee

I am pretty new as a hobiest, so my recommendation might not be relevant. The one thing that I do know is that women need to trust their "spidey senses". You have to keep yourself safe at all costs, period. If your not comfortable, cancel the appointment. Now with that being said, you should have verified him completely before agreeing on a visit and never given him your address. If it would have been me, I would have been upset and felt like you were making an excuse to not see me. I would have like to known upfront that you were not comfortable and I wouldn't waste my time or we could have gotten together for coffee before hand in a public place. You did what you had to do to feel safe, I just hope you don't give out your address first next time.

Now with that being said, I hope that you will verify me for a future visit ��

Do a better job of screening people. I would have been pissed if I were that guy. On the other hand, I wouldn't have seen him to begin with if I were you.

Default

Now with that being said, I hope that you will verify me for a future visit �� Originally Posted by JohnBrownToo

Go to www.sarah-renee.com and fill out th verification form on the contact me page. I will be back in Wichita on Sunday and Monday.

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Now with that being said, I hope that you will verify me for a future visit �� Originally Posted by JohnBrownToo

Fill out the verification form on my website. I will be in town Sunday and Monday

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Now with that being said, I hope that you will verify me for a future visit �� Originally Posted by JohnBrownToo

Fill out the verification form on my website. I will be in town Sunday and Monday

Screening is not optional, it's mandatory. Your own safety should be your first priority. Just gotta play smart. It's a learning process, but don't make it harder on yourself.

Be safe!

In all my years I have never run into something like this before. It's the first time I have ever not been able to find anything when I did luck. I used date check, verify him, And an online Google search of his name phone number email and any other information I have. And there was nothing. That should've been my clue!

I'm going to chalk this one up to lesson learned and thank each and everyone of you for your input. I agree with everything that was said.

Be safe and have fun!

Screening is not optional, it's mandatory. Your own safety should be your first priority. Just gotta play smart. It's a learning process, but don't make it harder on yourself.

Be safe! Originally Posted by Gemma34

ditto

\and never ever give the room number till they get to the parking lot

stay safe sugar!

All great advice. No guy should be offended that you need more screening or RL info to verify. It's the biggest game of trust out there for both parties. Anyone, of either party, could ruin this for the other. Screen, screen, screen, be safe, safe, safe (in my best Donald Trump voice). I've only had one provider turn me down for lack of references / info and I just wrote her off. I'm sure that didn't hurt her business any, but she played it safe and I respect that. Actually, she sounded ditsy, said she never got any of my references to respond - and one of my references actually responded to her while I was with her.

I'll pretty much agree with everybody else. If you don't feel good about a client, say so upfront. I don't care if I don't make it through screening, it happens, but when you cancel last minute because of screening, it will make me a upset. And he got upset and made a huge d-bag move. Move that definitely didn't help his cred.

Screening is not optional, it's mandatory. Your own safety should be your first priority. Just gotta play smart. It's a learning process, but don't make it harder on yourself.
Be safe! Originally Posted by Gemma34

ditto
\and never ever give the room number till they get to the parking lot
stay safe sugar! Originally Posted by DallasRain

Two of the primary level gals, both of whom I trust implicity, have weighed in on your question. Perhals ask followup questions of them.
No Left Turn over analyzed the issue.
In this fantasy world of ours, personal safety is paramount. Thus, folks having last minute uneasiness resulting in cancels should simply be accepted by the other person regardless of guy or gal, without pitching a hissy fit.
Clearly you made the correct call.

As a hobbyist, here's my opinion.

There are certain "unwritten" rules for both providers and hobbyists. They aren't formal, yet they exist.

The first and foremost rule is that a girl must take care of herself. Every girl must look out for her own safety.

You put safeguards into place to ensure your safety. You have to protect yourself against Captain Donut, and you have to protect yourself against the potential loose screw that may show up and fly off the handle with the intent to harm you.

You violated your own safeguard. But in a moment of clarity, you came to your senses and took necessary steps to protect yourself.

In the process, you "violated" another unwritten rule. You wasted a hobbyists' time. You made a "contract" and you backed out on that contract. However, there was no malice. I can understand, to a certain degree, that the guy would have been a little pissed. But that's no reason to go off the deep end. His response is proof that you were justified in being concerned.

Every provider/girl has her own personal rules, whether she realizes it or not. Some providers are more stringent than others. It doesn't matter what your guidelines are. What is important is that whatever guidelines you have established to ensure your own safety and protection are not violated. Lesson learned.

Great job of not putting yourself in a bad situation