Words of Wisdom from Miss Valentina

The reason you can't get over your ex-wife or girlfriend is because you just can't go around un-licking someone's asshole.

OR... you've suffered permanent damage.

The best way to "get over" someone, is "get under" someone else.. I'm just sayin'.

One day we'uns all git ta tha point whar takin' a good dump gives ya a reel deep an' satismahfyin' release jus' like good sex. Thet's why Ah dun put a mirror o'er mah toilet. Plus, if'n ya git enuff fiber in yore diet, yew kin git thet kinda reel deep release six 'r seven times a day, mebbe more. Thet's way more jam than mah wore-out ol' prosmahtate gland kin werk up in enny 24 hour day, thet l'il blew pill be dammed!

I'd do anything to have all that wasted jizz back.....

Damn Double-D, How can they say you are anti-progressive?

As such a powafo deep-thinking philosopher, what are your plans after this lame duck period?

Ah'm awe-reddy talkin' ta tha former Guv'nor Goodhair 'bout mebbe bein' a part o' his team fer tha 2016 'lection an' then mebbe gittin' a job in 'is prezzydenshul add-ministrayshun if'n he wins. Nothin' big, mebbe sump'in like ambassader ta Afgannystan or Secryterry o' Defense, Die-wreck-tor o' tha NSA. Sump'in like thet. In tha mean times, Ah'm a hopin' thet thet muthafukkin' Obama dun gave me a Crissmuss present wif whut he dun did wif Cuba. Mebbe now Havana is a-gonna ree-call thet low-life, taint-lickin' sum'bitch uva Cuban commie sleeper agent, Ted "Yo me llamo cocksucker" Cruz back ta his land o' his pappy so he kin roll a shit-ton o' cee-gars fer them ta sell in Walmart an' generate lots o' 'Murrican currency fer them Castro boys ta git a whole passel o' thet high priced Heidi Fleiss kinda call-girl action a-fore they kick tha' bucket. Ah hears thet in Cuba them bro-cephus Castro devils call givin' a hoogar a cream pie, "postre de flan en su puta coochie-coochie." Now ya knows.