I spent the Thanksgiving holiday in the Chicago area. While I was there they began playing commercials for an upcoming Rolling Stones concert at Solider Field in late June. I toyed with tje idea of going to this but the tickets are selling for about $300 each and I am not going to spend that much to watch an ancient Mick Jagger from a massive distance in a huge stadium. And besides, I do like them, but they are not my favorite band.
A big part of the reason for that is my asshole ex brother-in-law. He was crazy about the Stones and I am sure he still is. He is the cheapest bastard I have ever met but one time he did pay over $1000 for a ticket to see the Stones. From the 3rd row. In London. Then he sent dozens of pictures to everyone and carried on like it was a religious experience.
I told him I couldn't believe he would spend that kind of money to go watch some old man strutting his stuff on stage. He said "Who is that guy you like? The one that died (he always dissed my likes and preferences). Wouldn't you pay a lot of money for the chance to see him in concert again? Technically I never saw Jim Morrison and the Doors live in concert. I was only 12 years old when he died.
And I am not so sure I would go see him now. He would have a terrible whiskey voice by now and be a shadow of his former self. And yes, I wish he didn't die at age 27, but I am able to remember him as either the young lion at the beginning or the bearded drunk toward the end of his career. Not like I now remember Roger Daltry being unable to hit the high notes a few years ago at the Super Bowl . I wouldn't want to see him sleep walking around the stage at the Super Bowl like Tom Petty did the following year. Ok -- strike that one. Tom Petty would sleep walk around the stage his entire career. I barely remember Paul McCartney as a member of the Beatles anymore, but as the front man for that shitty band Wings and even worse as that guy who did a duet with Michael Jackson. I will never forgive you for that Paul.
Maybe I am wrong about that, but I don't think so. But I digress. Back to the Stones. I have seen them in concert before. Up by my screen name and lack of avatar it would say "I may be old but I got to see all the cool bands" if there was enough room to type all of that. So yeah I have seen them in live in concert before. And no doubt this influences the way I feel about seeing them again now.
It was late 1981. The Stones came to the UNI Dome in Cedar Falls for a concert. Mick was 38 at the time and I marveled at the energy he possessed. Of course I was only 22 at the time and thought someone at age 38 was getting pretty old. Now I would kill to be 38 again.
I have 2 strong memories from that concert. The first one was that they started the concert with the song "Start Me Up." It was their new hit single at the time. I bet this dumb fuck that I knew the price of our tickets that they would begin the show with this song. I mean "Start Me Up" -- come on. He was certain they would play it for the encore. The bet ended up being they either started the show with that song or he would win the bet. Of course they started the show with that song and I got to see the Stones for free.
The second memory is even stronger than the first. It involves a girl from near my hometown that was a UNI student at the time. She was also the reining Miss Iowa for one of those pageants -- I believe it was Miss America but it might have been for Miss USA. Anyway, she was walking through the crowd with her entourage of sorority girl wanna be's and horny frat boys that thought they just might actually have a chance with her. I was milling through the crowd with all my hippie freak friends that came to the concert with me.
She sees me and and emits a high pitched squeal that can only be achieved by cheerleaders, sorority girls, beauty pageant contestants and members of the Kardashian clan. "JAM!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE!!!"
Where else would I be? And if you actually knew me as well as you are pretending to, you would already be aware of that.
I turned around, saw her........and called her by the wrong name.
I did not think it was possible for a venue like the UNI Dome to become silent during a Stones concert, but it did. Or at least it seemed that way to me. I quickly corrected my error and called her by her proper name. I shouldn't have even bothered. She was devastated. Her face was crest fallen. How could I not know who she was. Her entourage stood there totally speechless with their mouths open as if they were all trying to catch flies. And my heathen hippie freak friends were all having hysterics and rolling on the floor where the artificial turf should have been. I wish I could say that I had planned this in advance because it was the totally perfect response to that arrogant bitch and her fuck head cronies, but I can't. It was just one of those moments where the stars completely line up and by total accident, I did exactly the right thing and uttered the perfect response
So no, I will not be attending this or any other Stones concert for as long as I live. No future Stones concert could ever live up to that first one for me. Sometimes it is better to leave well enough alone.