Ok I needed the laugh....

share yours....

Ok, the third one literally had me laughing out loud. Good one!

Ok, the third one literally had me laughing out loud. Good one! Originally Posted by DarkeyKong

Me too. My goal every trip.

The second one is why so many of us are in the hobby! Those were funny.

lol now yall post some....

Lmao at the second one ! ��

Too funny

One I saw recently: Sex is like Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

I tried my darndest to compare sex to poker. Best i have: If you don't poker her, better have a better plan.

Sure someone can better that.

lol those are good!

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"
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Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/10inchbicjokes.html

A man is sunbathing nude at the beach when he notices a family arrive with a little girl and they plop down not far from him. Wanting to be a gentleman with a young girl playing nearby, he grabs a towel to cover his privates, and grabs a book to read.

Pretty soon the little girl wanders over and says "Hey Mister, what you got under that towel?" He replies, "It is a big ugly bird, you don't want to see. Now go on and play and leave me be." Seemingly appeased, off she wanders to continue playing and the man goes back to reading and eventually dozes off. A short time later, the man suddenly awakens to terrible pain and burning in his groin area and looks up to see the little girl standing over him holding the towel.

"Wha-Wha-What happened," he asked. "Well, mister, I got curious about that big ugly bird and wanted to see it. I moved the towel and you were right, that was one ugly bird. I tried to ring it's neck and it spit at me. So I stomped it's eggs and burnt it's nest!"

I hear that in the first year of marriage if you put a penny in a jar every time you have sex, and you take a penny out every time you have sex after that first year, you will never empty the jar.

Do you add and take pennies whenever you have sex or only when you have sex with each other?

Do you add and take pennies whenever you have sex or only when you have sex with each other? Originally Posted by NTXReggie

I had in mind only sex with each other, but I suppose many hobbiests could empty the jar if they took pennies out for each time they had sex with a provider.

lol those are good!

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"
.............................. ...........................
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/10inchbicjokes.html Originally Posted by DallasRain

Hi Dallas: here's an old one. a young Scottish lass was curious about what the Scottish lads had under their kilts. She summoned the courage to ask one. He said: "Take a look". She did and gasped: "How gruesome"

He said: "Take another look; it grewsome more! "