How bad is the economy?

Sweet N Little's Avatar
The Recession hits everybody in the US ........

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
!!!!!!!
JustaGuyinMS's Avatar
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! Wait, it's all true!
wildcat4fun's Avatar
LMAO!!That just made my day.
"Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America ." This one is my favorite.....
DallasRain's Avatar
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.




OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
topsgt38801's Avatar
Outstanding!
vicinms's Avatar
Perfect Monday morning humor - thanks SNL!
Sweet N Little's Avatar
Your welcome Vicinms, I thought it was funny & Im always happy to put a smile on someones face
xoxox from Arkansas