Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, this economy sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!" Too late, he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem. If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"
source: Jokes4us.com
- Michael8219
- 03-10-2022, 10:07 PM
- VENUSNOVA
- 03-13-2022, 06:09 PM
ROFLMAO!!!
- oral_dlites
- 03-31-2022, 09:20 PM
5 stars!
- ben dover
- 05-10-2022, 07:40 AM
Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?
Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?
Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?
- offshoredrilling
- 05-10-2022, 08:35 AM
- ben dover
- 05-11-2022, 06:34 AM
Too much bad news in Rochester these days.
- bambino
- 05-12-2022, 06:55 AM
Bought a used car last week and found my wife’s dress in the back seat. I get no respect I’ll tell ya.
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
- Michael8219
- 05-12-2022, 07:19 PM
An elderly dealership executive was entering the office saying hello to the receptionist and office workers when the young female receptionist asked,
"Did you go off and leave the garage door open this morning."
The executive replied,
"No, I remembered to close the garage door." And went on to his office.
A little later he noticed that his pants were unzipped and realized what the receptionist was trying to tell him. He went back down to her office and said,
"I got to thinking about the garage door and I believe I did leave it open this morning and was just wondering if you saw my Hummer parked inside."
The quick thinking receptionist replied,
"No, all I saw was a Mini-Van sitting on 2 flat tires."
"Did you go off and leave the garage door open this morning."
The executive replied,
"No, I remembered to close the garage door." And went on to his office.
A little later he noticed that his pants were unzipped and realized what the receptionist was trying to tell him. He went back down to her office and said,
"I got to thinking about the garage door and I believe I did leave it open this morning and was just wondering if you saw my Hummer parked inside."
The quick thinking receptionist replied,
"No, all I saw was a Mini-Van sitting on 2 flat tires."
- tia travels
- 05-13-2022, 09:45 AM
Used car salesman aren't in it for the money. They just like lying to strangers.
- tia travels
- 05-13-2022, 09:51 AM
A man walks into a car dealership and sees the car of his dreams.
He walks up to it, and gives it the whole over/under but can't find a price listed anywhere on it.
He runs his hands along the door and when he does, he accidentally lets out a loud fart. He looks around quickly to see if anyone heard him, and no one seemed to have heard.
A few minutes go by and a salesman walks up to the man and asks if there is anything he could help the man with.
The man says "I'd like to know the MSRP on this car"
The salesman tells the man "Well sir, I'd rather not tell you"
Bewildered, the man asks the salesman why not.
The salesman responded "Well if you farted just by touching it, you're going to shit when you hear the price"
He walks up to it, and gives it the whole over/under but can't find a price listed anywhere on it.
He runs his hands along the door and when he does, he accidentally lets out a loud fart. He looks around quickly to see if anyone heard him, and no one seemed to have heard.
A few minutes go by and a salesman walks up to the man and asks if there is anything he could help the man with.
The man says "I'd like to know the MSRP on this car"
The salesman tells the man "Well sir, I'd rather not tell you"
Bewildered, the man asks the salesman why not.
The salesman responded "Well if you farted just by touching it, you're going to shit when you hear the price"
- tia travels
- 05-13-2022, 09:51 AM
The salesman says “hello sir, are you thinking about buying that Lamborghini?”
The millionaire says, “I’m going to buy the Lamborghini. I’m thinking about pussy.”
The millionaire says, “I’m going to buy the Lamborghini. I’m thinking about pussy.”
- tia travels
- 05-13-2022, 09:52 AM
I went to a car dealership last week and saw a Lamborghini that really caught my eye. I'm just waiting for my paycheck now....
So I can pay for an Uber and go see it again.
So I can pay for an Uber and go see it again.
- tia travels
- 05-13-2022, 09:53 AM
My friend is always complaining about the Swedish car dealership he works at. Today I had enough and finally said I don’t want to hear anymore of your Saab stories
- tia travels
- 05-13-2022, 09:57 AM
I wish my girlfriend wasn't so obsessed about her breast size. Even a trip to the car dealership became embarrassing.
She told the guy she wanted something that'll get her from A to B.
She told the guy she wanted something that'll get her from A to B.
- tia travels
- 05-13-2022, 09:59 AM
A man walks happily into a car dealership with an emu.
A salesman walks up to the man and asks, "Can I help you?" The man replies, "I would like to buy your most expensive car." Humoring the man with the emu, the salesman leads him over to a Bentley and says, "This model costs 204,572.99 dollars." Without missing a beat, the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly 204,572.99 and hands it to the salesman. The salesman's jaw drops, and he asks, "How did you know? How did you do that?" The man explains, "A couple of years ago, I found a lamp on a beach. When I rubbed the sand off of it, a genie popped out and gave me two wishes. My first wish was that whenever I had to pay for anything, I could just reach into my pocket, and the exact money I needed would be there." "Incredible!" Says the salesman, "You'll never run out of money like that, what a smart wish! What was your second wish?" The man scowls at the emu, now pecking his newly bought car. "My second wish was for a chick with long legs."
A salesman walks up to the man and asks, "Can I help you?" The man replies, "I would like to buy your most expensive car." Humoring the man with the emu, the salesman leads him over to a Bentley and says, "This model costs 204,572.99 dollars." Without missing a beat, the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly 204,572.99 and hands it to the salesman. The salesman's jaw drops, and he asks, "How did you know? How did you do that?" The man explains, "A couple of years ago, I found a lamp on a beach. When I rubbed the sand off of it, a genie popped out and gave me two wishes. My first wish was that whenever I had to pay for anything, I could just reach into my pocket, and the exact money I needed would be there." "Incredible!" Says the salesman, "You'll never run out of money like that, what a smart wish! What was your second wish?" The man scowls at the emu, now pecking his newly bought car. "My second wish was for a chick with long legs."