So your ATF is on vacation, no touring ladies in town, and your on P411 but you dont have as many ok's as daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaammmm and the provider tells you shes sorry but she needs you to have 35 ok's, a DL (since those cant be faked), a SS card, and the last three paycheck stubs or your checking acct. number (just to verify your deposits mind you, you can trust her)
Well I think Ive thought of a plan for the married guys. To make it through the dry spell. It might work once a month or maybe just once if your wife is smart, but here goes...
The preparation:
Stop by the grocery store and buy the ingredients for your wife's favorite meal, the saltier the better. Get some margarita mix and supplies. Also pick up one tub of ice cream, her favorite, and two bottles of water. Stick to the shopping list, this will come into play later. Call ahead, tell your wife you wanted to do something nice for her, you are cooking tonight. When you arrive home, make sure you dispose of all non-salty drinks, except your two bottles of water and the margarita supplies. And also throw away all ice cream except the tub you bought, set that on the counter in plain site for her to see. Once she sees the ice cream you can put it in the freezer for now.
Now prepare the meal, don't rush, make sure its just right. Prepare the margaritas, give your wife one before the meal, while she waits. Once the meal is ready, place it on the table and fix her one more rita for supper, NO WATER. Keep the two bottles of water you bought hidden for now and remember your out of everything non salty to drink. Before you sit down to eat, take the ice cream out of the freezer, inconspicuously. Yall two love birds enjoy the meal!
The setup:
Dont let her eat enough to be stuffed and full, just enough that she enjoys the meal. After the meal tell her to go relax in the living room, you'll get the dishes. When she walks out, throw that shit in the dishwasher, you don't have time to hand wash it. You dont even have to scrap the food off, you just want to make the kitchen LOOK clean. Ok, grab the tub of ice cream and put one big scoop in a bowl, throw the rest of the ice cream in the trash. Who gives a fuck if that's a waste, just do it, you can go to Baskin Robbins later. Take the bowl of ice cream and the two bottles of water to the bedroom, discreetly.
Execute the plan:
When you get to the bedroom, strip butt naked. Place one water bottle under the sheets beside you and the other under the pillow. That ice cream you brought, it should be slightly melted but still have a definable scoop in the bowl. Rub the melted ice cream on your balls and shaft. Put the scoop on top, carefully. Two notes here, number one you should be hard when you do this, flaccid or semi-flaccid wont work with the ice cream because it will be like trying to balance a slippery melting ice cream scoop on a bobble headed doll....it just wont work. Also, if the "bait" or ice cream slides off of you onto the sheets, she will be pissed. Secondly, did you remember to take the ice cream out of the freezer BEFORE you sat down to eat? I hope so, ever seen Christmas Story...the wet tongue on a frozen pole? Frozen ice cream would probably react the same with your flag pole. OUCH! Therefore the pre-melting step should be adhered to. Now... call her in the bedroom. When she walks in, before she has a chance to speak, tell her this is the LAST scoop of ice cream in the house. She better get to licking before it melts. Remember all that salt you loaded her up with? Go ahead and bring out the water bottle from under the sheets. Tell her that this is the LAST bottle of water in the house, and if she "cleans" you up good (AKA CIM), she can have it to wash it down.
Hopefully this plan will work for you, I have put alot of thought into every aspect. Im going to try this out this week if I'm still bored.
P.S. the second bottle of water under the pillow is for you, you are probably dehydrated from the salty meal and drinks too. Enjoy that water while you bask in the afterglow and she is enjoying her water and licking her lips.
I let you know how it goes ....... B