Doormat? Why Thank You!!

A girl friend of mine who just got into the BDSM lifestyle, was mad because other girls called her a doormat...
I asked some friends and did some research on my own about the whole Doormat Idea..
And its really how its Percieved..

In an effort to legitimize and normalize "BDSM" in mainstream culture, we see many terms take on more meaning than their actual definitions would suggest. For instance, in spite of its intent to debase and objectify, the word slave is not heard as a simple statement of status, but instead a title of distinction.
The imagery of a temple priestess making sacrifices on an altar comes to mind, instead of that of a chamber maid on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. While this evolution of terms and imagery is in some ways helpful to those involved in "BDSM" as far as acceptance and protection in the "real world" goes, it is also failing to properly educate the new and impressionable on the true nature of dominance and submission and the Natural Order. It seems as though a "flexitarian" mindset is being applied to "BDSM," allowing practitioners to incorporate other views, such as feminism, into D/s to form a socially acceptable hybrid lifestyle.

Thus the line is drawn; those who do not fit the accepted description are placed on the other side, and we start to hear negative labels such as "doormat" being used.

While I am sure that there are those who find mainstream "BDSM" to be an accurate description of their lives, there are a few of us for whom the literal meanings of the words Master and slave are taken seriously, and service as a female is a reality. I believe it is this very thing which garners us so much negativity. Most people are simply not ready for things to be that real. I accept, as other selfless servants do, that I am weak, and that I am worthless without the guidance of my Master. I am wholly devoted to him; my desire is trained on his and I am a tool for his use, whether it is as a priestess in his temple or a chamber maid scrubbing his floors.
I am who he says I am and am improved by his correction. I will not be accused of being a doormat; instead I will embrace the title willingly, for a doormat is a useful object. I consider it a compliment to be likened to an object which so adequately serves its purpose, and I choose to align myself with whatever title places me beneath the foot of my Master, for that is where I belong.

I live 2 completely Different lifes.
My Slave Provider life..
and the out side Private life
They both intertwine at times but are both very Real.

Princess Laeya

I understand your position, and I agree with you that there are few that would take the meaning as literally as you do.

The lifestyle is full of so many variations and shaded definitions. At least that has been my experience since my first full exposure to back in the 80's. What I have learned is that everyone is different - in their views, their definitions, in just about everything.

In my definitions, I would not classify any person as worthless simply because of their desires (now if they act in certain ways, to the detriment of others, I will happily write them off). A person who considers theirself a slave simply has a different role to fulfill, much as a master or mistress would. Again, in my opinion, it doesnt make your role any less than your master's. You are just different, that's all. You crave guidance, he craves someone wanting guidance. You need domination, he needs submission. Without one another you are both less, but together you equally benefit.

I've never thought much of the person who see's their dominant role as somehow making theirself special or better than a submissive. That's just a crock of shit.

But we should all embrace our beliefs and desires. And those that don't fall within our own categories, we should at least accept them for who they are and what it is that they want to be. Doesn't mean you have to partake, just accept, as they should do the same for you.

Now thos Goreans though.... j/k!

I would offer another spin to the term doormat being used to label a submissive by another submissive or slave.

Without doubt the term was being used to show your friend in negative light. They may have been trying to label her in such a way so as to deter their Dom or owner from finding her attractive. As well it could easily be able that person trying to make themselves feel better able their role in life. This type of drama is not unheard of.

I agree with Krunkman, if you or your friend are happy with yourself and happy with your lifestyle and kink then do not allow another to try and make you feel bad about being yourself. I would go further in saying who ever said this to your friend is insecure and perhaps even very inexperienced.

Roll On laeya, I would entertain a petition from you anytime.

The above posts are by far, among my favorite yet!

I believe we awaken each day riddled with these concepts.

Beauty is in, as it always has been, the beholder of the I.