Age & Kink

ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
Are we ever just too old?

I'm asking because well, doing some activities can really reave up the heart rate ... and I often wonder if someone's heart can actually TAKE this type of pressure and extreme sensations.

I have a reason for asking, btw.

Just curious. Is severe bdsm activity better left to the young? Or younger? Whatever that means?

Elisabeth
Yes, age can affect your play. But as you age your body changes, and it affects everything.

I know some people in their late 50's who are caning nuts... and they can take a caning I don't think a 20yr old could. But they also are smart enough to balance the sensation with the (potential) destruction that is caused to the body.

Everyone is going to have different issues and problems. For the most part you can work around these limitations, but some you (obviously) should be careful about. I have a domme friend who had an older gentleman as a client for a number of years. As time went by it got harder for him to kneel on the floor, but he really liked that sort of thing. So to keep incorporating it into their play she started using a pillow that eased the pressure on his knees.

But playing with heartrates, well, if you are going to do something like that you should educate yourself in monitoring and knowing the signs of distress - something that your bottom may not, or will not, tell you. Make sure you have backup plans on what to do, or how to get him out of his bondage quickly. You may even want to go as far as going with him to his doctor and having a frank discussion of heart issues and sexual pleasures.

Or, it may be too much to deal with for you. In that case you either need to stop seeing him as a client or move your playing to a much more safer level.
Willen's Avatar
Wise advice from Krunkman. I also think you can ask someone about their lifestyle, do they exercise? How often? How much? Even in this realm, sensible caution when it comes to health matters is appropriate. If you are worried about whether or not they can handle a certain level of activity, then don't do it.
DallasRain's Avatar
lol--good question....age is just a number ,right??

I think as I get older I get more "curious" about kinky things...just pray that I still have stamina to try them out..lol
Well, when I was young, it was enough to get some.

Kink, what the hell is that?
Spank you?
What, No, my mommy taught me not to hit a lady.

So, as I age and my tastes get more refined, I see how much more fun it is to play on the edges of the page.

But, I think you are asking more of a health and welfare question.

I am not as young as I used to be, nor as healthy or flexible. I do have to take that into account when planning my sessions. I cannot kneel as long as I used to, my back gives out, and I get winded more easily. But, as long as this is known to all parties that there are limits (LOL) then I do think you can have a hell of a good time.

Krunkman, you are wise, and I value your posts. I agree that we get smarter as we age, and more refined and know our limits better. You need to play at your level, and your other's. Plan and all will be well.

PPE
Physically, I am not as healthy as I once was. Like PPE, my days on the athletic fields have taken their toll on my knees and back. I'm closer to couch potato than gym rat these days so while my shape is still good for a guy my age, the stamina isn't as strong.

However, as I've aged I've also grown to accept my kinks and fetishes without worrying about whether or not I was weird, which has allowed me to explore other avenues of my sexuality. I'd rather die having tried something and regretted it, than die never having known.

A good domme/dom recognizes the humanity of their sub so that health is never compromised. A good sub better be strong enough to say STOP when he/she feels the health adversely affected during playtime.
Shackle's Avatar
My quick response would have been you are only too old when you are dead. However I would revise that to you are only too old when you lose the desire.

As pointed out by others you may however have different limits as the body ages. So good judgement is the key for all involved.

Life is too short enjoy every minute.
Hobbyfun's Avatar
Do as you want, the worst that can happen is you have a heart attack and die, but what a way to go.

Actually the worst that can happen is you have a heart attack and survive then the explaining to the SO why you was in a woman's apartment are hotel.
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
Since historically there have been men who have died in the arms of another women, a mistress or well ... an escort, it seems reasonable to show some concern if a man has such an intense release, and I'm not speaking of orgasm, or an intense reaction to stimulus that the possibility of heart attack is really there or at least real.

So I was just musing and thinking out loud. Because once someone is in that space, even an experienced person can misjudge and I would hate that to happen.

I know. I'm speaking in circles but it's that type of topic, I think!

Elisabeth
Thank you for mothering me. You are so caring.
Shackle's Avatar
Since historically there have been men who have died in the arms of another women, a mistress or well ... an escort, it seems reasonable to show some concern if a man has such an intense release, and I'm not speaking of orgasm, or an intense reaction to stimulus that the possibility of heart attack is really there or at least real.



Elisabeth Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

What a way to go having fun with your mistress or in bed with someone you choose it sure beats languishing in a hospital.
You don't have to make a sub get on his knees.
I usually use my bed...not the floor.
I also have bondage furniture, so he never has to be in an uncomfortable position.

My sessions are so erotic that he disappears into subspace abd doesn't know where he is anyway...he only hears the erotic stories I am telling him about.