5 Reasons Meeting in Public is Often Off Limits

Because this topic comes up literally all the time, I'll explain why meeting in public is often off limits for a first-time meet, from my standpoint as a provider.

Meeting in public for a first date is very tricky to pull off from a discretionary perspective, and here's why:

1. You never know someone's manners.

The last thing you want, as a discreet provider, is a client who starts asking inappropriate questions or saying inappropriate things in public.

For instance: "How long have you been an escort?" or "Do you enjoy being an escort"? or "You look hotter in person!"

or "Can I interview you for my book on escorts?" (That one happened, too!)

2. There may not be a discreet way to handle donations in public.

As we all know, escorts/companions require a donation upfront before a date has begun.
Well, slipping an envelope is not necessarily "discreet" because let's face it, there can always be someone in the vicinity who's privy to the "envelope."
And restaurant staff probably know what it means as well

Granted, a CashApp prepayment could be a workaround for this, but we all know the trust issues surrounding prepayments.

3. Oftentimes we don't know what each other looks like.

Most of the time, an escort does not know what the client looks like, and many escorts hide their face in photos for discretionary measures.

Well, it's already a bit nerve-wracking to meet a stranger for the first time. (No surprise! )
And it further compounds the natural nervousness we have on a first date if we meet in public, since:
We don't exactly know WHEN each other is showing up.
And we are scanning the room, wondering, "Is that you?"


4. There is always that person who just wants to see who the escort really is, no intention on having a date.

If a provider agrees to meet in public, they run the risk of the client looking to see who the mystery lady is and then leaving before the provider sees who they are.
This scenario simply makes it EASIER for a client to do this; it could happen in any situation.

I think we can all agree not even booking a room and simply saying, "Meet me for a coffee" is less of a commitment on the client's behalf; therefore, the cards are against the escort.

(If you don't think this actually happens, a client just wanting to see who the escort is, it does! ...not to me, because I don't do this )

5. Often, clients are not okay paying for an escort's time on a public outing.

This scenario looks like this:

Client: "Can I take you out for coffee?"
Escort: "Oh, absolutely!"
Client: "Great! How's Starbucks?"
Escort: "Love Starbucks!"
Client: "What time shall we meet?"
Escort: "Before we talk about Starbucks, I just want to be sure
you're familiar with my donation..."
Client: "Oh, geez, that's one expensive cup of coffee!
I'll get back with you later."

(End of plans... )


And thank you, Yourprivatedr, this thread was inspired by your thread "Off limits or not."

#5 is the best reason for both parties. Puts the date in the right direction that this is purely transactional. If you want to get her a Starbucks on the way to the date get her one and bring it. You might get lucky with a cute barista for something in the future.

Good list, Kindall Nicole! Me, I get so nervous before a first time meeting, I'd be a basket case in public, lol!

I'm glad you got some of the humor.

Yes, an in-public meeting is more nerve-racking if it's a first-time meet.

But when you said "...this is purely transactional,"
that's not how I look at it. I never meet anyone who I feel this way about.

I have to feel something, excitement, curiosity, etcetera, etcetera,
because it's not just a "transaction," to me.

It's my life. It's my time. My experience. And I can't get that time back.

That's just how I personally look at it.

#6,
There's always cameras nowadays, so until you have an established cover story ....

# 6 is a great point. The cameras are rolling in public spaces.

And what goes on behind closed doors is assumed camera-free...
unless that's discussed prior

# 6 is a great point. The cameras are rolling in public spaces.

And what goes on behind closed doors is assumed camera-free...
unless that's discussed prior Originally Posted by eccieuser13

As long as it's all you on camera hell yeah

As a new guy to all of this.. how does the guy protect himself..? I’ve paid upfront to the tune of $700+ and that money is just gone.. I don’t mind paying for something if I actually get that something no matter what that something is.. it sure does a number on trust. Thanks

$700?? Wtf

Ya I was out $350 to one lady.. my first attempt.. it was $100 at first.. she had to give that to her manager so she needed $100 to meet me, her grandmother needed medicine $50, she couldn't entertain all of a sudden so $50 for gas then $50 for food., the others it was $100 upfront but still wanted more.. this is over the course of several months.. I was a stupid old horny guy and now I have lost trust in anything in advance..

As a new guy to all of this.. how does the guy protect himself..? I’ve paid upfront to the tune of $700+ and that money is just gone.. I don’t mind paying for something if I actually get that something no matter what that something is.. it sure does a number on trust. Thanks Originally Posted by wyldthang1001

How do you protect yourself? Speaking as a relatively new guy that lost some $ as well, don’t pay up front. Period. You might lose out on a meeting a provider but you won’t lose $. Otherwise it’s really how much risk are you willing to take and how much $ are you willing to potentially lose. It’s a hard lesson to learn but eventually you figure it out.

Yes I finally learned..

Good topic and list. Never considered such a meet-up but helps me understand why it's not a good idea for either party.

7. They don’t have your $ in their hand in case something is wrong about the date and you think about baling.

I'm glad you asked, wyldthang1001

This happens every day. And it's absolutely unfortunate: one, that you get burned, and two, the criminals don't get charged and continue on doing it again.

It's an unwritten rule, but a good one, that you pay upfront and in person. However, these scammers care about no one and love the newbies, because who's going to tell them how things are supposed to work?

There is an exception. If a lady is travelling and needs pre-bookings to ensure she doesn't lose money booking her hotel and travel plans, it's completely acceptable to pay upfront or a booking fee/deposit.

That said, you always see ladies (no matter what) who have reviews, they have a solid presence online. Otherwise your odds are way higher you're going to get scammed.

And anyways, there are reputable ladies to see, so what I wonder about is why so many people are seeing the "ladies" who have no reviews, no online presence, nothing to vouch for them.

I have to send my personal photo ID and photos of myself to sites like Tryst, etc. so they can verify me. And then I have reviews. And then I have Twitter which I post to regularly.

You simply have to be particular about who you see. It's not all about looks or how sexy the ad is