Question for everyone

Could you trust a new S.O. if you found out that they cheated on their previous spouse or in their previous relationship?

Could you completely trust them?
  • MrGiz
  • 01-25-2011, 02:30 PM
Depends on how far you go with your definition of "trust". There is probably "nobody " that I trust "completely "!!

Hell.... I don't even trust myself , completely!!

Giz
I think a good marriage is less about trust and more about respect.
Guest032213's Avatar
lol i dont TRUST nor do marriage, just seems pointless
littlejohnny's Avatar
My wife married me knowing i was a hobbiest she has even picked some of the women i have seen I would have to say the trust in our marriage is very strong
I have offered her the same freedom I enjoy and to date she has not elected to pursue it my trust of her is complete
I think a good marriage is less about trust and more about respect. Originally Posted by BellaIsabella
Totally disagree, for a marriage to work you need all these things; trust, respect, compromise, communication, acceptance, the ability to resolve conflict, giving esteem and honor as well as demonstrating regard and consideration to each other.

If your missing some of these components your marriage will suffer.
Naomi4u's Avatar
Totally disagree, for a marriage to work you need all these things; trust, respect, compromise, communication, acceptance, the ability to resolve conflict, giving esteem and honor as well as demonstrating regard and consideration to each other.

If your missing some of these components your marriage will suffer. Originally Posted by Bebe Le Strange

+1
My wife married me knowing i was a hobbiest she has even picked some of the women i have seen I would have to say the trust in our marriage is very strong
I have offered her the same freedom I enjoy and to date she has not elected to pursue it my trust of her is complete Originally Posted by davidokc
But is that considered cheating if both parties are aware???
Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Edit-total knee jerk reaction, here is a more thoughtful note. I was recently asked if I would ever date a someone that I met through work. The answer is no because why would I date someone that has already proven that they are incapable of being faithful? I do not have a bf right now and plan to remain single until I am done with this particular job. All the excuses in the world "she doesn't like sex" etc etc etc then why did you marry the frigid bitch?

I bet that most wives/girlfriends of hobbyiests are probably not the ice queens that we are expected to believe that they are. But these women are in relationships with men who are not faithful to them and blaming the wife for the betrayal of the husband is ridiculous. Get divorced, but don't try to make us believe that it is anything but a choice to get your dick wet outside of your home.

That being said, I have no problem sleeping with married men. Do I keep them at a distance? Yes of course, even when it is in my personal life.

Dumbest woman I know? The chick that is engaged to my former fiance. They met while he was on vacation with his buddies and I was planning our wedding. She knows all of this. We have spoken on the phone. She is still going to marry him.

Yes yes, many exceptions I'm sure. But for the most part......
Naomi4u's Avatar
But is that considered cheating if both parties are aware??? Originally Posted by Alyssa Nicole
Um. no.
am-a-pleaser's Avatar
Answer to OP's question --- Yes. Many reasons exist for stepping out.

And SillyGirl, I was prepared to disagree with you --- until you added that last line of many exceptions.
growler's Avatar
LOL I prefer the term flawed over cheater, but it is what it is Silly Girl. If life was only always black & white. But to your point. A course everthing we do is a choice. My question for you is, when you find that man/woman will you tell them of your life as a provider?
No is hard to trust someone that has cheated before (once a
Cheater always a cheater)
cptjohnstone's Avatar
No is hard to trust someone that has cheated before (once a
Cheater always a cheater) Originally Posted by Selena51
but why did they cheat? My ex announced when she turned 40 she and friends were not going to give bj's any more. Up to that point I had never cheated on her, so I went to a strip club and found someone who did
16yearitch's Avatar
LOL I prefer the term flawed over cheater, but it is what it is Silly Girl. If life was only always black & white. But to your point. A course everthing we do is a choice. My question for you is, when you find that man/woman will you tell them of your life as a provider? Originally Posted by growler
Good question.
In my case, I hope to never have to find another SO. As odd as it sounds, I am committed to my marriage. That's why I hobby.

My other options are:

1. Get a divorce and lose my kids.
2. Have an emotionally involved affair. (then get a divorce and lose my kids)
3. Remain celibate until one of us dies.

OR. I can hobby.

I tend to look at it as going out to eat alone. I have a hunger, there's nothing in the frig. I go out and have a nice meal, then I come back home.