For Nina

For Nina,

I took German in college, and I enjoyed it. Unfortunately, much of it eludes me today, though I can make out that I shouldn’t buy a child’s pass (Das Kinder) for a train trip to and from Frankfort: even though it is cheaper!

As a student, I had to read the following story transcribed into German. I thought it was amusing those many years ago, and I still do. It’s my hope that you find it humorous also.


IBH


The Awful German Language
by Mark Twain

“There are ten parts of speech, and they are all troublesome. An average sentence, in a German newspaper, is a sublime and impressive curiosity; it occupies a quarter of a column; it contains all the ten parts of speech—not in regular order, but mixed; it is built mainly of compound words constructed by the writer on the spot, and not to be found in any dictionary—six or seven words compacted into one, without joint or seam—that is, without hyphens; it treats of fourteen or fifteen different subjects, each enclosed in a parenthesis of its own, with here and there extra parentheses, making pens within pens: finally, all the parentheses and reparentheses are massed together between a couple of king-parentheses, one of which is placed in the first line of the majestic sentence and the other in the middle of the last line of it—AFTER WHICH COMES THE VERB, and you find out for the first time what the man has been talking about; and after the verb—merely by way of ornament, as far as I can make out—the writer shovels in "HABEN SIND GEWESEN GEHABT HAVEN GEWORDEN SEIN," or words to that effect, and the monument is finished. I suppose that this closing hurrah is in the nature of the flourish to a man's signature—not necessary, but pretty. German books are easy enough to read when you hold them before the looking-glass or stand on your head—so as to reverse the construction—but I think that to learn to read and understand a German newspaper is a thing which must always remain an impossibility to a foreigner.

Yet even the German books are not entirely free from attacks of the Parenthesis distemper—though they are usually so mild as to cover only a few lines, and therefore when you at last get down to the verb it carries some meaning to your mind because you are able to remember a good deal of what has gone before. Now here is a sentence from a popular and excellent German novel—with a slight parenthesis in it. I will make a perfectly literal translation, and throw in the parenthesis-marks and some hyphens for the assistance of the reader—though in the original there are no parenthesis-marks or hyphens, and the reader is left to flounder through to the remote verb the best way he can:

‘But when he, upon the street, the (in-satin-and-silk-covered-now-very-unconstrained-after-the-newest-fashioned-dressed) government counselor's wife MET,’ etc., etc. [1]

1. Wenn er aber auf der Strasse der in Sammt und Seide gehuellten jetz sehr ungenirt nach der neusten mode gekleideten Regierungsrathin begegnet.

That is from THE OLD MAMSELLE'S SECRET, by Mrs. Marlitt. And that sentence is constructed upon the most approved German model. You observe how far that verb is from the reader's base of operations; well, in a German newspaper they put their verb away over on the next page; and I have heard that sometimes after stringing along the exciting preliminaries and parentheses for a column or two, they get in a hurry and have to go to press without getting to the verb at all. Of course, then, the reader is left in a very exhausted and ignorant state.”

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5788/5788-h/5788-h.htm

Hi IB,

Yes yes yes!!! It is humorous, i loved to read that. German is known for the construction of large words.... there are numerous jokes with words ........That is so true. And then the different dialects. Here is a typical vienna long word:

Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellsch aftskapitänskajütenjunge its a legitimate german word and means : The boy that works in the captains suite on the Boats companies called "Danube" (like the river) (loosely translated)

"in-satin-and-silk-covered-now-very-unconstrained-after-the-newest-fashioned-dressed"

oh i love it.

This is one problem (of the many ) i have with adapting to the english language. English is much more precise but shorter. The play with words that "we" germans have in the way shown above is part and essentil of our humour and description of things and people. When i try to do that in english - its disastrous. No one understands and its hard to follow. So i have to try to do exactly the opposite. Shorten, precise and make a few english sentences out of one german sentence. In german you can fill a whole page with ONE sentence.

Loved it.... :-),
Thanks IB
ps: This is also one reason why Nietzsch`s work is hard to translate (or therefor any german philosophers one) into english, like german words like "Ubermensch" "Gutmensch" are not the same meaning like the english translation "Super Human" And "Good Human". Its difficult to explain. A Gutmensch is a construct that is someone that portrays himself as only good, its meant kinda cynical, delusional, someone that acts in the belief of doing something good while being same like others , a morally sanctionicing person. Having tight ass morals.-its a political connotation. Being a "Gutmensch" is someone that denies the intricacies of life. A good human in english doesn`t have that cynical connotation with it. Its plain and simple. A good human.

Also - the way you make the words in a row can have the same connotation meant as cynical humour or a true sentence that means exactly what it says. The difference is just how the words are put together:
For example:

"in-satin-and-silk-covered-now-very-unconstrained-after-the-newest-fashioned-dressed"
would be very cynical and making jokes of the newest fashion and someone, you can see it by the words put in a row and with the word "after"
while:
"in satin and silk , now very unconstrained, dressed like the newest fashion" means simply that. I assume the english way of describing such things are word creations like "hipster" or something like that.
;-)

Thanks for that, loved it.

German is known for the construction of large words.... there are numerous jokes with words ........That is so true. And then the different dialects. . . .

Also - the way you make the words in a row can have the same connotation meant as cynical humour or a true sentence that means exactly what it says. The difference is just how the words are put together: Originally Posted by ninasastri

I’ve posted this here before (I think before your time here), but it is among my favorite anecdotes—and it’s the only one I know that’s in German – LOL. When Nazi Reich Marshall Hermann Göring’s actress-girlfriend, Emmy Sonnemann, became pregnant, Göring was the butt of many jokes, in public and in private. One of the more pointed jokes was made by a stage comedian while Göring and his girlfriend were in the audience. The comedian took a dramatic, Shakespearian pose and exclaimed, “Sein oder nicht sein; das ist hier die Frage.”

In English, this famous phrase from Shakespeare’s Hamlet has only one meaning: “To be or not to be; that is the question.” Of course, in German it’s a double entendre in that it can also mean, “His or not his?” insinuating paternity issues. The joke was not lost on the audience, much to Göring’s chagrin.

This is one problem (of the many ) i have with adapting to the english language. English is much more precise but shorter. The play with words that "we" germans have in the way shown above is part and essentil of our humour and description of things and people. When i try to do that in english - its disastrous. No one understands and its hard to follow. So i have to try to do exactly the opposite. Shorten, precise and make a few english sentences out of one german sentence. In german you can fill a whole page with ONE sentence. Originally Posted by ninasastri

I, for one, think you do marvelously well.

Get a room!

Get a room! Originally Posted by Naomi4u

and you could join us!

Aw yes, a year of German was also required for my degree, can't remember much. But the German club meetings were awesome!

One of my fellow students was a genuine, raised listening to Hitler on the radio, Bavarian grandmother trying to pad her GPA. And she always prepared the food for the club meetings!

I've always read that complete immersion is the best way to learn a language, looking at Nina's photos, I wholeheartedly agree!

“Sein oder nicht sein; das ist hier die Frage.”[/SIZE]

In English, this famous phrase from Shakespeare’s Hamlet has only one meaning: “To be or not to be; that is the question.” Of course, in German it’s a double entendre in that it can also mean, “His or not his?” insinuating paternity issues. The joke was not lost on the audience, much to Göring’s chagrin.

I, for one, think you do marvelously well. Originally Posted by I B Hankering

Oh thanks, that is sweet of you to say.
There are many things like this in german.....:-) like the double messages.....

I've always read that complete immersion is the best way to learn a language, looking at Nina's photos, I wholeheartedly agree! Originally Posted by Iaintliein

$

Thanks, that is very nice! I also believe that the best way to learn a language is having a lover who speaks that language. :-).

and you could join us! Originally Posted by I B Hankering

definetely!

and you could join us! Originally Posted by I B Hankering

Would love to!