Strapon Sex...Working Him Open

This is generally a question to the ladies that have experience in this area. I enjoy being pegged by an experienced woman. It's much more enjoyable if I sense that she enjoys being in a dominant pistion and has a true talent at being the one doing the penetration. However, since I do this so few times, it always takes time for me to get ready. I either have to do prep work before the session or it's going to take time for the Provider to be able to use a strapon of sufficient length and girth to make it a truly satisfying session for me.

Ladies, how do you approach this situation?

Lube, gloves, condoms and a variety of toys from very small to large, slowly working our way up.

YummyMarie said it best. I would say making sure your body is very relaxed as well. Tention creates friction in penetration, the slower you go and the more you exhale on the penetration the more you can take.... For an extreme example when I do full fisting with my SUBS that are very experienced I start with large strap first than move up to hand usually takes about 30/45 mins of playing to get past my thumb knuckle.... Once the hand has fully entered than can be turned into a fist.... LOTS AND LOTS OF LUBE!!!! One must be comfortable with herself to give such an experience... Taking your time is key to true satisfaction.... Kisses

I forgot to mention if you put a nice plug in an hour or 2 before your session and leave it in you can skip a lot of the warm up cuz ur body has gotten over the part of being penetrated.... The more relaxed you are the better the body receives the action... Kisses

Actually, I prefer teaching newbies. It is really pleasurable to see a woman having an "O" the first time she is dominant (I had one provider running around the room in her strap-on saying "I love having a dick! I look food with a dick!")

Good comments by all. It took a couple of years to get comfortable with the idea of being taken by a woman with a strapon. I started out with assplay, prostate massages, working up to medium size dildo's with a variety of women both provider & SOs. Initially with larger dildo's it took a couple of minutes to get past the initial pain. I was tense.

Eventually I met a woman who really liked strapons & had a blast. I made the decision that I really liked being taken by a woman & relaxed with the whole experience. Big difference. I rarely have more than fleeting pain initially unless it's much larger than I am used to. Even then it becomes fun quickly. I do like it a little rough, so there is a bit of pain throughout-- an experienced provider will push my limits without going too far.

I also prefer to schedule 90 minute or 2 hrs for an all out session. Gives everyone time to catch their breath now an then as well as experiment with the next level.

I'm in the same boat as txcwby6 although I've never been pegged. I do on occasion use a toy at home that I enjoy. I have also had providers use toys but it is often painful if not done with patients (most times), so I don't request it much.
I really need to find a provider who can take her time to make it enjoyable and pleasurable. I really want to be pegged but not tortured. I have been to LeiLover in the past for Nuru and she has done a nice job with toys. I have actually been in contact with her but she is going on vacation just as I'm getting my nerve up to do this. I will be seeing her again in the near future though.
Any suggestions for providers in the North Dallas area who fit the description of gentle and patient who also have the necessary equipment?
BTW, I'm really excited to run into this part of eccie. It sounds like this area may be kind of new. It's nice to read posts from people who are thinking the same things I am. I hope to make some new provider contacts in the near future.
Is this the best area to find providers? In the other areas there are provider adds.
Thanks.

Jessica Tearwell (smurfy) can be mild to wild & def knows her way around toys & tushie.

I'm an expert in "opening up" newbies. Many gentleman feel comfortable with me who have never tried before. I like to use stainless steel toys instead of silicone / etc. The stainless steel toys are SEXY, virtually frictionless (less lube needed, less distraction, longer playtime), and warm to body temperature! So instead of feeling the object inside of you, all you can feel is where it's stimulating you. The steel toys work wonders. The body loves them. The key is to go slow if you want to see the prize at the end. I do also have a traditional strap-on, but I'd much rather do you with my handheld steel toys, unless the fantasy of the strap-on is specifically important to you (then I'm happy to accommodate).

I start by teasing the asshole gently and slowly with my tongue or lubricated fingers. The MOST important trick in these early stages is to go super slow and tease. If you don't give the asshole what it wants right away, it will get HUNGRY and DEMANDING. I love hungry and demanding assholes. So I tease. Going too fast will make the ass scared and overwhelmed. Did you know your ass contains emotions? Sounds silly, but it's true. The nerves are connected to very intimate places in our spirits, which is why it is scary for lots of people to get fucked there, and so deeply satisfying for people who enjoy it. So I like to let that asshole know right from the beginning that I am not going to hurt it... In fact, I am going to tease it and go slow and only give it what it wants (if it's lucky)!


I start with fingers, but since I always wear black latex or nitrile gloves for penetration, this is actually a high-friction experience, so I only use my fingers (with lots of lube) for a minute or two. Mostly I want to gently penetrate slowly, and the benefit of using my fingers is to feel how a gentleman responds. An asshole might be so hungry it gobbles my fingers up quickly and easily, or it might be cautious and need very slow and gentle insertion to take my fingers. It's important to realize at what pace an ass wants to progress, and to follow it's lead. Basically, even if there is an ILLUSION that I am in charge because I'm the one doing the penetrating, in reality, the ass is always in charge. So I use my fingers first to understand what the ass is trying to tell me about how fast it wants to go.


Since a guy relaxing his asshole is an ACTIVE process on his behalf (which many do not realize), I also give some basic coaching on how to relax. I say, "Relaxing your asshole is not like relaxing your leg. Your leg is relaxed by default, so to relax your leg, you just let go... But your asshole is clenched by default (to hold things inside you). As a muscle, the sphincter needs to be exercised and to have practice being stretched in order to be able to relax more and more successfully, much like how your bicep needs training to lift a weight. So to relax your asshole, is an active process on your part. You need to flex the muscle to relax it!" So what does that look like? It is a somewhat conscious but somewhat subconscious process that each individual needs to locate in their brain. I recommend to guys who have no idea how to do it, "flex the muscle that makes your cock jump over and over and over when I say to relax". This will cause your asshole to "suck up" a finger or a toy or whatever is gently trying to work it's way in. Receiving anal play is an active process on behalf of the receiver, and that's the best way to have a quick entry and a successful session. You can't just close your eyes and "take it"!


Anything that feels "tight", I work at gently and patiently. Sometimes once the head of the toy gets in, the hard part is over for the asshole, and the head of the toy can stimulate the prostate while the neck of the toy is thinner and isn't a challenge to have sliding back and forth across the sphincter (especially since metal is frictionless). But if I know a guy wants to take more, I will gently pull back in the toy until the head presses against the sphincter from the inside of the body this time, and tease, by slowly pulling back just a tiny bit, but not so that the head of the toy is actually all the way in the sphincter muscle. Then I go back to stimulating the prostate, then back to teasing the inside of the sphincter with the head of the toy (as if I'm going to pull it out, but I don't). The sphincter likes being teased from the inside and usually opens up this way. Some people like long strokes, and some people like something different. I always communicate with my partner and focus most of my attention on this process while we are opening up.


Once the guy is fully warmed up, things can become more exciting and distracting. For me, this is the right time to incorporate oral pleasures, don a strap-on, move onto fisting, or whatever his pleasure. Once you are warmed up, it's just a matter of keeping things lubricated and clean. Sometimes, we go thru this entire process only to discover that the gent did not clean very well, and his own fecal matter causes friction inside of him which causes us to need to cease to play. So clean out well and mind your diet, for your own sake, gents!! Shit happens, and while I'm not squeamish about it, I'm disappointed when it causes us to have to stop playing just as we really get warmed up...


I'm visiting Dallas mid-late September, so maybe some of you gents will be lucky enough to experience my finesse firsthand.

OMG!!!
The entire time I was reading that I was thinking "too bad she's not in Dallas". The last line almost made me loose it!
I'll be watching for you.
Feel free to PM me when you cum.
BTW, for my own education (anal newbie), can you expound on the proper cleaning and diet that helps things go smoothly?
Thank you.

Well said Zoey, You explaind the whole process right on the money!!! Great to let Gent's know about hygiene in this department as well.... Kisses Winter

How do I prepare for this? and when should I prepare in relation to the session. An enema a couple of hours before? I would rather not make a hell of a mess. Dallas and I have been working up to this slowly but I would feel better if I was prepared before the session.

DAM Zoey. I won't be able to work the rest of the day. I haven't had that done YET but wanting to real bad. Me on my back, getting slowly worked over as my manhood is getting slowly stroked. OH and tied where I can't stop the lady for keeping on going, post orgams GEEZZZZZ

... I love hungry and demanding assholes.

... (especially since metal is frictionless). ... Originally Posted by spicyzoey

I'm sorry, I just had to laugh. If you love hungry and demanding assholes, you're truly in the right place. There's LOTS of us here!

Also: your stainless toys are no doubt smooth and low in friction, but they are not "frictionless." If they were, you couldn't pick them up with your fingers.

Sometimes when they are lubricated I do have a difficult time maintaining a grip on them!! Gloves help though.