A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter...
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
"Irving, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
"Irving, that emerald necklace you promised me? I bought it, too, with the insurance money."
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes.
Completely unrelated is my question, just wanted your attention with the joke. I joined a gym recently "Anytime Fitness." It is merely a locked door you walk into and equipment is available. I have been doing this for a few months and it has increased my stamina and endurance physically, I am also getting more definition in my muscle tone, but I looking to do two things and it is not working. 1) I want to lose the gut I have, it is not that large but it is unsightly in my opinion. I have tried crunches, sit ups, changing my diet, working out - it does not go away. Yes, I am in my mid 40's so it is an older aged gut, I do not drink so that is not the issue either.2) I am wanting to bulk up just a little, in my younger days I had a very good looking chest, muscular and defined. I have been doing bench presses, curls and lat exercises but no luck. I have read two books with two exercise programs. My question is am I just too damn old to have the body I used to have? Has anyone else encountered this dilemma? Am I too impatient and it takes mroe than a few months? Is there another place I can attend with help from staff, I am not too pleased with where I am at, kids come in and take up machines I am looking to utilize, etc. Not many good looking gym ladies either, What the hell?
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
"Irving, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
"Irving, that emerald necklace you promised me? I bought it, too, with the insurance money."
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes.
Completely unrelated is my question, just wanted your attention with the joke. I joined a gym recently "Anytime Fitness." It is merely a locked door you walk into and equipment is available. I have been doing this for a few months and it has increased my stamina and endurance physically, I am also getting more definition in my muscle tone, but I looking to do two things and it is not working. 1) I want to lose the gut I have, it is not that large but it is unsightly in my opinion. I have tried crunches, sit ups, changing my diet, working out - it does not go away. Yes, I am in my mid 40's so it is an older aged gut, I do not drink so that is not the issue either.2) I am wanting to bulk up just a little, in my younger days I had a very good looking chest, muscular and defined. I have been doing bench presses, curls and lat exercises but no luck. I have read two books with two exercise programs. My question is am I just too damn old to have the body I used to have? Has anyone else encountered this dilemma? Am I too impatient and it takes mroe than a few months? Is there another place I can attend with help from staff, I am not too pleased with where I am at, kids come in and take up machines I am looking to utilize, etc. Not many good looking gym ladies either, What the hell?
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
in your tag line. 
