Tips on first contacting a provider for an appointment.

How do you contact a provider for an appointment that first time? What are some good suggestions on how to approach a provider for that first date?

There was a thread somewhere on ECCIE that a read a while back that gave some great suggestions about how to write a provider for the first time. It had some great pointers on what to say and what not to say.

But, I can't find it. So I would like to hear from hobbyists and providers about what their thoughts are on the best way to introduce oneself to a provider and ask for an appointment.

Then, I plan on condensing it all and write a sticky for newbies!

So, please share ideas and stories about good and bad techniques to use! I will keep the thread open for about a week then write a synopsis!

Thanks... and, of course... Smooch!

Lea

First thing, ask her if she has a website if you don't see it posted anywhere. Please please please read it before calling or emailing to make an appointment.

Have your references ready to give the lady you'd like to see. Don't expect her to do the leg work in having to track down your references information.

Always recite the jurisdiction for which you work and your badge number.

1. If you are a newbie, search for providers that are newbie-friendly. Follow their instructions for newbies.
2. If you haven't joined P411, do so. The difference between having it and not having it is like the difference between having lube and not having lube for anal.
3. Research the lady you want to see. Read her P411 Page, DateCheck entry, website and reviews thoroughly before contacting her.
4. If she has an Etiquette Page, follow it in detail.
5. Do not haggle about price, and do not overstay your time.
6. Contact the lady in the way she desires: some choose email, some phone, some P411, and some her website.
7. Some ladies want to talk before the appointment. Do so, but do not take excessive time.
8. Be brief in each contact. Remember, contacts prior to and after the session are time for which the lady does not get paid. The only time that is truly yours is session time.
9. Show up at the session cleaner than you have ever been in your life. Take extra time to be spic-n-span. If you aren't clean, you'll spend time out of your session cleaning up before getting on with BCD activities.
10. Treat the lady with the respect you would give your mother, or if you don't respect your mother, the respect you would show your boss's wife or your preacher's wife.
11. Try and find out the things that will make the session spectacular in advance. Some ladies like dirty talk, others don't. Some ladies like certain activities, others don't. Try to know these things prior to the session. (As an addendum, if you like a certain activity and the lady doesn't offer it, you're likely to have a disappointing session despite how hot and appealing you find her. You should look elsewhere.)
12. Take care of business first and follow the lady's instructions in this regard. I had one lady that instructed cash to be fanned out on the table. Most use variations of the envelope. Read and obey. Insist that she take a gander at the envelope ahead of time so there are no misunderstandings about the amount.
13. I try to have a small personal gift in addition to the donation. Nothing expensive or fancy, but I tend to put it in a gift bag with the donation. It helps the lady to remember me.
14. Repeating with a provider sometimes results in unadvertised benefits to the hobbyist. This is in no way a guarantee or even a promise.
15. Do not get entangled in the personal life of the provider and don't allow her to become entangled in the hobbyist's personal life. This is a business relationship, and the parties should remain anonymous except for their business or screen names.

There's probably more, but that's what I can contribute.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=178982
This one from Clouddancer is stickied at the top of this forum

CPI also had a great one on the old board but I don't know if it ever got copied over here or not Lea.

For me personally, I don't mind a quick pm from a hobbyist introducing themselves. I like communication so this works for me.

However,
when it comes to scheduling a appointment I prefer:
Some thing to the effect of - if through a pm - if p411 they need to go through there.

Hi THT (sweetie etc)
I am xxx and I am interested in visiting with you Monday June 6th @ approximately 1pm if there is time in your schedule.

My references are:
Susie Homemaker
xxx-xxx-xxxx or email lalala@gmail.com
She will remember me by:
Website or link to their review of the lady

Next reference:
Hot-to-trot
xxx-xxx-xxxx or email blah@msn.com
She will remember me by:
Website or link to their review of the lady

Thank you for your time and consideration.
TADA

Mainly I want to be respected and not have to chase down references or ways to get them screened.

So many times I find schedules don't mesh just right, so I like to know I'm not forgotten but also not pestered with daily emails, pms or calls. I encourage a gentleman to check in with me from time to time, share conversations and NOT wait for me to drop them a line. I want to get to know the hobbyist some prior to a visit if possible.

THT - I thought all I had to do was send you a pic of how big Mr.Johnson is!!LOL

I try to do every bit of research before I make up my mind of "okay, this is who I want to see." Websites, reviews, board persona does play into the decision as well.

I'll always send a respectful email giving enough info for a Lady to verify. By doing this it allows her to determine if what is sent fits her level of comfort before the session.

Looks like Chica Chaser, Charlestudor2005 & TheHorseTrainer nailed all the do's.

Here are some don'ts:

When I'm done with you sweetie you'll walk bull legged for a week!

My last girl friend said I was good in bed!

I didn't have an STD at all... its was Herpes!

Hey.. how many minutes in an hour?

What kind of warranty or ganantee do you offer?

Can I bring a friend?

Can I give you half NOW and half next week?

Do you take checks?

Hey if you have an O do I get a partial refund?

I could keep going but I'll yield the floor to the providers who probably have even better ones than I can up with!

.

Can I give you half NOW and half next week? Of course. But the session is next month

Do you take checks? Sure. Cashier's checks. Originally Posted by Still Looking

Hell anybody can make up phony bank / cashier’s checks! Please forward provider list!

Are you telling me you have never paid for a session with a check? I have a couple of times.

After finding the girl that piques your interest and you have made the decision that she is the one you're going to call, please follow these simple rules...
First off, do your homework. Read reviews, check if she is posted, do a search for her handle or phone number in the msg boards, etc...
1)Prior the phone call (or inbox) ...
a) Have your references ready and make sure that they are ok with you using them as a reference. It is probably a good idea to ask a girl if you could use her as a reference prior to leaving a session. Inbox works as well and for most is the preferred method.
For those of you that don't know the reasons we ask for these ... Our safety is important to us. We check with others to insure that we are safe from all kinds of troubles that may follow. Nothing personal against you but, we don't know you and this is the best way for us to feel more at ease with you as a potential client. Make sure that your references are reviewed and from handles that are not one hit wonders.
Now, some of you might think that we may get jealous. In most cases this is not true. We have no hold on you and you are not our boyfriends, husbands or some other type of significant (or insignificant) other. You can see whoever you want and that is the wonderful nature of this business.
b) READ THE ENTIRE AD/WEBSITE! This is one of the most important things to do. I know that some of these are lengthy and long winded but, there is pertinent information in there you might need to know or instructions on proper way of contact. Some examples of what you can find if you actually take the time to READ are: proper times to call ex: if our ad was posted at 4 pm then it is probably a sure sign that we will not be available at 4 am. Specials: we might be running a special which certain requirements need to be met for you to receive that "Special" price. Most of us require references (see above 1-a).
c) Inbox you references with the following information. Your name, your references (2 references are nice incase one doesn't pull through) and how your references would remember you.

Perfect example of how an inbox should be...

Hi (providers name),
My name is (insert your name). I wish to schedule an appointment for (time and date). My phone number is (insert phone number). My email is (insert e-mail). In the past I have seen (insert references names and ad numbers). They would remember me as or by (insert how they would remember you). Please let me know if you are available for that time. Once I have passed your screening process, would you please contact me at (insert your preferred way of being contacted).
(closing salutations),
(Your name)

d) If calling in your references in please understand that sometimes when you call, we might be a bit busy. Please leave a msg and let us know if we can call you back and at what time. You can even let us know that you will try back later, this way we can expect a phone call from you. On the msg you should leave your name your phone number (or e-mail), your references name, ad number (or phone number) and how they would remember you. Also, what time you might be wanting the appointment. Do not excessively call, for it irritates us immensely. 1-2 calls is acceptable; any more than that, is too much. Again make sure she is working that day by seeing if her ad is displayed.

Example of an acceptable voice mail....
Hello my name is (state your name). I am interested in spending time with you. I have seen (state your references names, and contact information). They would remember me by (state how they would recognize you). When you get this please contact me via (state best way to contact and what time). You can, at this point, skip contact information and simply state, "I will try back again in an hour or so."

After you have passed this process, you will not have to go through it again. Inbox is a good way for references. This way we can refer back to this inbox msg and won't have to take the time to process it all over again. Most girls will save this information.
With phone numbers and contact info, we will not use it until we are asked or told to do so. We do understand that discretion in this business is a priority.
2) The Phone Call....
a) When talking with us on the phone, please refrain from the use of ebonics, slang and slurred vocabulary. Speak clearly and in such a manner that we can understand the words coming out of your mouth. Rudeness and such will not be tolerated and will probably result in a "click", followed by a dial tone on the other end. Leaving you talking to yourself and feeling frustrated.
b) Asking about anything that is stated in the ad is a sure sign that you did not read our ad and puts us on edge. Asking about prices and services is a sign you did not do your homework or, read our ad. Asking about such things will probably result in a sound of a "click" and dial tone on the other end. Leaving you talking to yourself... feeling frustrated.
After all this you are now ready for the appointment. If you have followed these directions then you WILL have an appointment.

3) Pre-appointment preparation....

a) Have your donation ready. If you have done your research there should be no question as to what the amount is. Place it in an envelope or separate it from all other cash. In some cases its best just to bring the stated amount with a little extra just in case you want to leave a tip. Do not buy something and take the amount from your donation amount. Also make sure when arriving you have it on you. We ask for it upfront and if you don't have it, you don't get to spend time with us.
b) If arriving from home, please take a shower no more than 30 min before you leave your house. If you can't take a shower at home, then don't be afraid to ask for one when you arrive. We all have showers available. Most of us will even ask if you need one. Take the washcloth load it up with soap after you get in the water stream and apply it to all crevices of your body. This is especially important around your armpits, ass and balls. In some cases we would be more than happy to join you in the shower and help you with this process. If we join you, it would be considered the start of our time together.
c) Have directions ready and know where you are going. If we want you to meet us at Starbucks then know which Starbuck you are going to. Please follow directions and arrive on time. If you are late then be prepared to have time cut short because we might have another appointment set up behind you. You will be expected to still pay full donation if your late. You are not only wasting our time but yours when you are late.
If you are running late please, give us a call and explain that you are running a bit behind. We are more apt to understand this than if you just show up late. If you don't show up within 15 minutes of the set time and don't call to inform us that you are running late, then you are considered a no call no show. This means that your appointment is cancelled and further attempts to reschedule will be denied. We will take to heart your excuses but it is at our discretion if we will see you or not.
For whatever reason you can not keep the appointment please call and let us know. We really don't need an excuse. Just let us know you can't make it at that time and you would like to reschedule. Be preparred to leave a good tip for cancelling when you do come see us again. You cancelling has left us with an open time slot that could have been filled if given enough time. 2 cancelations in a row and you will be considered a flake and all other attempts to set an appointment will be denied.
e) It is always nice to bring something extra. It is not required but a very thoughtful gesture. If you know our favorite flower, candy, wine, collectible, etc... bringing an acceptable gift will put us in an even hapier mood. Happier mood = happier session. Again this is not a requirement.
4) Appointment...
a) When you arrive please refrain from grabbing and molesting until the door is closed. This is a private affair not a public one. Do not expect us to open the door in lingerie or anything extremely revealing because you never know who is watching. We will be dressed and accordingly to our privacy. If we have a very private entrance lingerie and even in some cases nudity might be a possibility.
b) Please place donation in plain sight. Do not get offended when we check to make sure proper amount is there. Just a formality and we have to do this.
c) Before you get too excited, please pay attention to what we have to say about limitations. If you have done your homework you should have an idea of what to expect. Still, there are in most cases some rules that you will have to follow.
d) Most importantly, lay back and enjoy. You are here for relaxation in whatever form you are looking for. RELAX. We don't bite that hard and only if thats what you want.
e) Don't feel bad if peformance anxiety attacks. We get this all the time. Yours is not the first and it most definately won't be the last. We can be very creative to get juices flowing and you might be pleased with the outcome. If the anxiety causes you to perform to soon, you do not have to leave right away. In most of these cases a second attempt can be achieved. This can be a fun experience in itself.
5) Aftermath....
a) After the session is over get dressed (shower if need be)and if you would like, leave a tip. We appreciate tips but don't require it. Tipping will also help in knowing you appreciated our time together and might possibly see us again.
b) Reviews.... If you decide to leave a review might I suggest keeping details limited in the line that is seen by the public eye. The more descriptive details can be described inside the review.
6) All in all...
Keep in mind that the experience you may have, may not be that of the other people we have seen. Your attitude and demeanor before, during and after a session make the difference between a good session and great session. YMMV. Not all people mesh well, It could happen where we might not click. It happens and such is life.

Just a little guideline to follow and remember, not all of us are the same. Each experience is different and that is just another wonderful aspect of this business.

Perfect example of how an inbox should be...

Hi (providers name),
My name is (insert your name). I wish to schedule an appointment for (time and date). My phone number is (insert phone number). My email is (insert e-mail). In the past I have seen (insert references names and ad numbers). They would remember me as or by (insert how they would remember you). Please let me know if you are available for that time. Once I have passed your screening process, would you please contact me at (insert your preferred way of being contacted).
(closing salutations),
(Your name) Originally Posted by LynnPL

I will note that I try to book at least a week in advance. But I have found it advantageous to insert a self-canceling statement in the first email. It goes something like this: "If I haven't heard from you by 24 hours prior to the requested appointment time, I will assume you cannot make it and you should deem this request for an appointment canceled."

I use two steps whenever I contact a lady to make an initial appointment.

1. Do my homework. I READ her ads and web sites, not just look at the photos. Not every 5’4” stunningly pretty brunette has the same personality, likes, requirements, or menu and I consider it my job to read reviews and web sites to see if her total package fits what I’m looking for. Nothing makes a poster/reviewer look dumber than saying, “It ruined the session for me as soon as I saw she had tattoos” when all her photos show lots of ink. Part of doing homework is also figuring out what you want: 2 hrs, overnight, and day this week, only Tuesday before 10 AM?

2. Write a letter, not a text. Cover three main areas in a few sentences each, making sure they are clear, polite, and written with good grammar. I write to her as a person, not an impersonal business or object—I want her to show up as a person when I see her.
--Where did I find her, and what attracted me to want an appointment with her. I try to say something that makes it clear I read her posts or web site.
--Provide the screening information she needs (if I’m not comfortable about her screening I don’t write to her at all, I move on to someone else). I provide my P411 & D-C info, and any individual provider contact information if she is not a P411 or D-C member.
--Describe a little about myself, both physically (age, weight, etc.) and interests appropriate to the session (music, clothing, whether I’m looking for lunch & play time, etc.), especially if in my reading I find we have some areas of common interest. One first date a few years back wasn’t a dinner date but a visit to an arboretum and dessert. It made it very easy to remind her who I was when I asked for a reference.

Finally, I try to give some options on time and days if I have that flexibility. And I’ll ask any unresolved question I might have (trying to make sure it isn’t in her web site info), such as: “Do you offer a discount for longer appointments?”, or if I’m planning to include dinner, “What kind of restaurants do you prefer?”

So far this approach has worked well for me.

My biggest thing is for a hobbyist to have respect towards us (providers) when contacting us. Some guys get besides themselves and start explaining what they wanna do to us in a session or off demanding things instead of requesting.

Ive actually had clients go through the process of booking a appt and I dont know if they got besides themselves or thought it was a comfort level between us. But they would say something like "I like heels and I expect to see you in nothing but heels when you answer the door." For some girls that might be alright because its your kind of thing but to me I tell them that I am easy going and will gladly listen/take request, but do not ever tell me what I will be doing or wearing during our appt. I just feel that if you can respect me now, you'll respect me in our session. And if I allow you to just go demanding things then you'll expect anything in our appt.