Wait Time Scenario A

I'd asked a version of this elsewhere and got some interesting answers, I'm curious to see what the range of answers is.

Here's the purely hypothetical scenario. Myself and a provider have set a time for incall, which we will hypothetically say is 5:00. We've seen each other multiple times before (so a known quantity) with no problems/nothing out of the ordinary.

5:00 arrives and I send a message that I'm here and await a reply that it's ok to come in.

Gentlemen: How long do you wait while hearing no reply before you bail on this visit?

Ladies: For whatever reason you did not get the message at 5:00 (cell network is slow, dead battery, devine intervention out of your control). How long would you expect the hypothetical gentleman above to wait?

After I sent my initial text, I sent a text every 5 minutes with no response and left after 15-20 minutes. She started blowing up my phone after 30 minutes begging me to come back. I was already trying to find a backup but hadn't succeeded yet. She claimed her phone froze up and she had to reset it and at that point she received all my previous texts which I had sent while waiting. I told her I would return if she made it up to me. And she did.

Give 30 minutes max. This falls into the category of the provider you have seen multiple times starting to take you for granted since she has seen you many times. For me personally the mark of a great provider is the one who makes your 5th experience with her better than the first and I guarantee you she is on time.

Man, Chubb, great topic! It's a dilemma for a couple reasons. First, there's that feeling (after waiting whatever amount of time) of knowing as soon as you get halfway back to work/home/whatever, there WILL be a call explaining the lateness and wondering if you "still want to meet?". I tend to schedule during work days, with things that happen before and AFTER a visit, so even if I turn around and go back, we're looking at a shorter visit. And honestly, having that conversation where you discuss knocking the rate from an hour down to a 20 or 30 minute visit is a real buzzkill. I had this happen a few months ago where I went anyway and agreed to a shorter rate and for no fault of my own, feel like I got put on the "cheapo" list when I would have been happy to do an hour if said provider would have been on time. I guess my request for the ladies is can I back out of a late appointment and NOT be made to feel like I'm the one with a problem ?
One time, I had a provider do this and I swear that it had to have been a calculated way to blow off the appointment but not be a NCNS. It was like she had found a perfect window of knowing it was too late to go on with the visit but at least she could look like she "tried".
Anyway, I've always got my other daily crap to get done and I'd honestly rather have a straight forward cancellation than the debate over moving my whole day back timewise. Btw, I have learned to book with a bit of a broader window, especially AFTER visit because, yeah, sometimes shit happens lol.

Oops, edit: I just realized my spiel doesn't really pertain to someone you've seen a few times (hypothetically). Sorry if I went slightly off the rails lol. It is a good topic though!

Man, Chubb, great topic! It's a dilemma for a couple reasons. First, there's that feeling (after waiting whatever amount of time) of knowing as soon as you get halfway back to work/home/whatever, there WILL be a call explaining the lateness and wondering if you "still want to meet?". I tend to schedule during work days, with things that happen before and AFTER a visit, so even if I turn around and go back, we're looking at a shorter visit. And honestly, having that conversation where you discuss knocking the rate from an hour down to a 20 or 30 minute visit is a real buzzkill. I had this happen a few months ago where I went anyway and agreed to a shorter rate and for no fault of my own, feel like I got put on the "cheapo" list when I would have been happy to do an hour if said provider would have been on time. I guess my request for the ladies is can I back out of a late appointment and NOT be made to feel like I'm the one with a problem ?
One time, I had a provider do this and I swear that it had to have been a calculated way to blow off the appointment but not be a NCNS. It was like she had found a perfect window of knowing it was too late to go on with the visit but at least she could look like she "tried".
Anyway, I've always got my other daily crap to get done and I'd honestly rather have a straight forward cancellation than the debate over moving my whole day back timewise. Btw, I have learned to book with a bit of a broader window, especially AFTER visit because, yeah, sometimes shit happens lol.

Oops, edit: I just realized my spiel doesn't really pertain to someone you've seen a few times (hypothetically). Sorry if I went slightly off the rails lol. It is a good topic though! Originally Posted by ohboy70

It's pretty easy to get off topic on this - other places I've asked, after about the 5th response the answers start going to "the way it should work...", "I would never do that to someone", "depends on the circumstances", etc.

It boils down to I wonder how long both parties would reasonably expect someone to wait after an appointed time when hearing nothing - there's no circumstances (yet), no excuses (yet).

15 minutes and I am gone if no reply. My time is worth more than theirs so I am not waiting a half hour or texting/calling every 5 minutes.

Well, I'm not a very patient person when it comes to waiting. I hate being late and I hate having to wait on someone else. I also hate having someone text or call me every freakin 5 minutes. However, I realize that sometime stuff happens. If it does, i expect a text or a phone call letting me know so I'm not sitting in the parking lot of a hotel or apt building. I'm usually early anyway since I'm more old school and being in traffic isn't an excuse for being late. Leave early enough so traffic ain't an issue. Back to the question though. if I've never seen the lady before, ten minutes is my max wait time if I don't get a response from her. If its someone I've seen multiple times then I'm more patient, assuming they let me know whats going on. if I don't hear anything from them then I'm going to assume something came up they couldn't control cause usually if I've seen them multiple times they've left a good impression on me anyway. Its happened before and believe me, the lady more than made up for it.

I'm in total agreement, and I too despise waiting. But many times new my effort went into seeing that provider, then u have to back up and regroup and start the search over again.
It also depends on the provider. Some are worth the wait. But I'll take note before I let it happen again.