You can stay longer if you want

Everyone, what is the best way to respond when your time is up and your getting ready to leave, and the client sais to you: You can stay longer if you want.

I always lie and say I would love to but I take care of my sick mother and she needs her medication.

Recently, someone said to me: you can stay the NIGHT if you want. I don't have the money to pay you, but you can stay and hang out if you want.


Is it wrong of me to think that is soooo rude to put me on the spot like that? Because I think it is damn rude.

What about clients who ask me what my plans are for the rest of the evening? The appointment is almost over, and the client sais: so what do you have planned for the rest of the night? Again, none of their buisiness.

I don't want to be rude and say, why do you need to know what my plans are? BUT I have said that. They just shrug it off.

How do I handle a client who asks about my personal life? I don't think my personal life is anyones buisiness. Plus, he could be getting clingy and planning on bugging me to date him. What is the best way to handle this?

There may have been another reason he invited you to stay the night. Was it late and he thought you were tired? Or did you have a long ride home and he was looking out for you? If that wasn't the case and he just wanted to get free time then he was definitely in the wrong to ask you to stay. When he asked what plans do you have for the rest of the evening, he may have just been making chit chat and not being nosy at all. Perhaps you are just being paranoid. Perhaps not. Hard to tell without hearing his side of the story.
Again, depends on what he meant when he said that you could hang out if you want. Nothing wrong with just chilling if you have no other plans but if he thinks it includes free sex he is in the wrong. Or he may just be lonely and like the company. Hard to tell.

OMG girl you crack me up. Yes it is rude for them to put us on the spot like that. Some of these guys forget that we're professionals and we are getting paid for our time.

I tell them the truth. "No I have other engagements", "No I have a busy day ahead" or if it's late a night I'll say "No I have so much to do in the morning. I gotta get going".

When they ask what my plans are, I'll tell them that I have to go furniture shopping. I will have to change it up now since I just let the whole board into my little secret. You can use it though.. works like a charm. LOL!

About your personal life: Never give out such info unless you and that person have built a relationship outside of this hobby and even then don't do it.

Girl there was this one guy that asked if he could spend a night with me for FREE! Mind you we had just spent a whole 6 hours together.. uh.. it was so funny how he asked to. He REALLY thought I'd let him do that.

Isis you are treading on weak soil...what he really asking you want and have a no pay date. Stand your ground girl a date or sex the charge is the same..I know some providers go out on dates and don;t charge,,but thats where problems start.

Isis you are treading on weak soil...what he really asking you want and have a no pay date. Stand your ground girl a date or sex the charge is the same..I know some providers go out on dates and don;t charge,,but thats where problems start. Originally Posted by pickupkid

I know some providers who have had no problems at all with OTC (off the clock) dates. Perhaps they are in a strange city while on tour and miss their family and just want or need human companionship or someone to talk to. Of course they are clients that are regulars of their's.

Hobbyist1, I don't think I'm being paranoid or putting too much into it. To be truthful, when the client sais: "you can stay longer if you want" I was under the impression it would be non-sexual. Some of them have even said: oh just to hang out and watch t.v.

I just think thats putting me on the spot. Because then I have to rack my brains and come up with the perfect lie. When you lie, in order for it to be belivable you have to immediately respond, not stand there and be all uh...oh...um...uh...oh...ummmm um...um.

My perfect alibi is the sick mother excuse. That way, it makes me look like mother theresa and not offend the client. But I also switch up the excuses. Different excuses for different clients. One time I lied and said I had a flight to catch and I really really had to get home to pack. Thats a good lie. Look I can go on and on about lies, but I just don't think I should have to.

The last man who asked me to stay the night: no it was not late and the weather was fine. If the weather is bad- I would not be offended I would be grateful for his act of kindness. I know the difference between an act of kindness and an act of clingyness.

His wife was out of town so we met at the hotel. He wanted me to stay the night "if I wanted." I just thought, how inconsiderate you are of my time.

From a hobbyist's standpoint, I have a somewhat different experience. I used to see a regular of mine and she would often email me saying she was lonely and sad and I would drive the 2 hours to see her. Of course this was after we had seen one another a couple dozen times so we had become close friends. One time it was snowing really hard and against my better judgment I drove to see her. When I got to her motel she asked how the drive was and that she was worried I might not make it when she saw how bad it was snowing. I thought she truly cared about my well being and welfare. After our visit was over it was about 11 pm and still snowing really hard. Bear in mind I had a two hour drive in normal weather ahead of me. She had 2 beds in her room and we had already had sex 3 times in the past 2 hours so I was tired and not thinking about anymore sex at all. She had told me I was her only client that day so I knew she wasn't expecting anyone else. Yet she never offered to let me spend the night. And this was a girl I would take to dinner or lunch and run errands with her since she had no car. It was right then that I realized it was all about the money for her. She only worried I might not make it there because she was worried she wouldn't make any money. Again, it was against my better judgment and I have learned since then. I also realize not all providers are like that. Some do care.

Hobbyist1, I don't think I'm being paranoid or putting too much into it. To be truthful, when the client sais: "you can stay longer if you want" I was under the impression it would be non-sexual. Some of them have even said: oh just to hang out and watch t.v.

I just think thats putting me on the spot. Because then I have to rack my brains and come up with the perfect lie. When you lie, in order for it to be belivable you have to immediately respond, not stand there and be all uh...oh...um...uh...oh...ummmm um...um.

My perfect alibi is the sick mother excuse. That way, it makes me look like mother theresa and not offend the client. But I also switch up the excuses. Different excuses for different clients. One time I lied and said I had a flight to catch and I really really had to get home to pack. Thats a good lie. Look I can go on and on about lies, but I just don't think I should have to.

The last man who asked me to stay the night: no it was not late and the weather was fine. If the weather is bad- I would not be offended I would be grateful for his act of kindness. I know the difference between an act of kindness and an act of clingyness.

His wife was out of town so we met at the hotel. He wanted me to stay the night "if I wanted." I just thought, how inconsiderate you are of my time. Originally Posted by incognito isis

Isis, thanks for clearing that up. I just believe honesty is the best policy. There's really no need to lie. Lots of women are used to sleeping alone and aren't comfortable sleeping with someone all night long.

From a hobbyist's standpoint, I have a somewhat different experience. I used to see a regular of mine and she would often email me saying she was lonely and sad and I would drive the 2 hours to see her. Of course this was after we had seen one another a couple dozen times so we had become close friends. One time it was snowing really hard and against my better judgment I drove to see her. When I got to her motel she asked how the drive was and that she was worried I might not make it when she saw how bad it was snowing. I thought she truly cared about my well being and welfare. After our visit was over it was about 11 pm and still snowing really hard. Bear in mind I had a two hour drive in normal weather ahead of me. She had 2 beds in her room and we had already had sex 3 times in the past 2 hours so I was tired and not thinking about anymore sex at all. She had told me I was her only client that day so I knew she wasn't expecting anyone else. Yet she never offered to let me spend the night. And this was a girl I would take to dinner or lunch and run errands with her since she had no car. It was right then that I realized it was all about the money for her. She only worried I might not make it there because she was worried she wouldn't make any money. Again, it was against my better judgment and I have learned since then. I also realize not all providers are like that. Some do care. Originally Posted by hobbyist1

I think you'll get a kick out of reading this thread>>>http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=192097

Edited: post #15.

If you would have given me a "Sick mom" excuse I would have figured you were lying right away. Don't kid yourself either about them feeling better about you turning them down. Rejection is rejection. Just politely say "Sorry, I really just can't", if you feel like you'd loose out some how, leave out "Unless you'd like a multi-hour session" (If you offer it) My point, don't lie if it bothers you...

Your right on bout feeling the way you do individually, but I've been with girls that will see me an hour and stay over night on their own with out asking. Should I ask them to leave???... The guy may have had the same kinda dates. I think its just there way of putting it out there in-case you really didn't want to leave right away.

Hobbyist1, I don't think I'm being paranoid or putting too much into it. To be truthful, when the client sais: "you can stay longer if you want" I was under the impression it would be non-sexual. Some of them have even said: oh just to hang out and watch t.v.

I just think thats putting me on the spot. Because then I have to rack my brains and come up with the perfect lie. When you lie, in order for it to be belivable you have to immediately respond, not stand there and be all uh...oh...um...uh...oh...ummmm um...um.

My perfect alibi is the sick mother excuse. That way, it makes me look like mother theresa and not offend the client. But I also switch up the excuses. Different excuses for different clients. One time I lied and said I had a flight to catch and I really really had to get home to pack. Thats a good lie. Look I can go on and on about lies, but I just don't think I should have to.

The last man who asked me to stay the night: no it was not late and the weather was fine. If the weather is bad- I would not be offended I would be grateful for his act of kindness. I know the difference between an act of kindness and an act of clingyness.

His wife was out of town so we met at the hotel. He wanted me to stay the night "if I wanted." I just thought, how inconsiderate you are of my time. Originally Posted by incognito isis

He's even more inconsiderate of his wife. I know many clients are married. I am sure providers overlook the fact that many clients are married. I know you have to view it as a buisness transaction. Iam single again after a long marriage. I seek the services of a provider from time to time. The dating scene is not always a target rich environment. I've never asked a provider for anything past our originally set appt. I don't know if I say it's rude, but more presumptuous. I guess it just pisses me off when I hear about married guys seeking escorts. I never played around on my wife. If I ever get married again, I would have no use for the services of an escort or a forum such as this.

From a hobbyist's standpoint, I have a somewhat different experience. I used to see a regular of mine and she would often email me saying she was lonely and sad and I would drive the 2 hours to see her. Of course this was after we had seen one another a couple dozen times so we had become close friends. One time it was snowing really hard and against my better judgment I drove to see her. When I got to her motel she asked how the drive was and that she was worried I might not make it when she saw how bad it was snowing. I thought she truly cared about my well being and welfare. After our visit was over it was about 11 pm and still snowing really hard. Bear in mind I had a two hour drive in normal weather ahead of me. She had 2 beds in her room and we had already had sex 3 times in the past 2 hours so I was tired and not thinking about anymore sex at all. She had told me I was her only client that day so I knew she wasn't expecting anyone else. Yet she never offered to let me spend the night. And this was a girl I would take to dinner or lunch and run errands with her since she had no car. It was right then that I realized it was all about the money for her. She only worried I might not make it there because she was worried she wouldn't make any money. Again, it was against my better judgment and I have learned since then. I also realize not all providers are like that. Some do care. Originally Posted by hobbyist1

Hobbyist, I'm sorry that happened to you. Like I said, if these guys were asking me to stay because it started to snow, then by all means I would be grateful. I would understand, they are only asking to be nice. But when the weather is clear and it's not that late, asking me to stay looks like you are trying to take advantage of me and my time.

I realize it looks like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. It really isn't a big deal. We are all inconvenienced in life at different points. I just don't like being put on the spot, no it is NOT the worse offense a client can commit. Will it continue to happen? Sure it will. Again, when the weather is bad I do appreciate the offer to stay.

I guess, I'm trying to understand why clients ask that. Other than the weather being bad. The single most biggest issue I encounter are clingy clients. I know my va-jay jay is not laced in 24k gold. But these guys just don't know where to draw the line sometimes. Ya know what? Next time I'm just going to say: sorry, I wish I could but our appointment is over. Maybe it's not good to sugar coat anything with the sick mother excuse.

He's even more inconsiderate of his wife. I know many clients are married. I am sure providers overlook the fact that many clients are married. I know you have to view it as a buisness transaction. Iam single again after a long marriage. I seek the services of a provider from time to time. The dating scene is not always a target rich environment. I've never asked a provider for anything past our originally set appt. I don't know if I say it's rude, but more presumptuous. I guess it just pisses me off when I hear about married guys seeking escorts. I never played around on my wife. If I ever get married again, I would have no use for the services of an escort or a forum such as this. Originally Posted by acp5762

I just fell in-love. Men like this don't exist much anymore.

Naomi, I think he was hoping she would offer to let him stay because there was a snow storm outside, and it wasn't safe for him to go home. But she did not offer the bed so he figured she doesn't even care if he dies in a car accident. Hence, she only cared about the money not a human life........

Savior, it's always the same thing....you can stay, IF YOU WANT. I would have more respect if they would grow a couple and say: I really want you to stay. To me, saying "IF I WANT" makes me out to be the bad guy.

ACP: you are a true gentleman and more guys should be like you. But their not.

Naomi, I think he was hoping she would offer to let him stay because there was a snow storm outside, and it wasn't safe for him to go home. But she did not offer the bed so he figured she doesn't even care if he dies in a car accident. Hence, she only cared about the money not a human life........ Originally Posted by incognito isis

I missed that part. Damn, I would have let him stay. Yes she didn't care.