When you're over 40

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This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, *Is that Corona or Heineken*??
I said, *There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out*

*When you are over forty who gives a shit*

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I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, *If you lost a few kgs, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right*

I said, *If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you*

When you are over forty who gives a shit?

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I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, *Nice legs*

The girl giggled and said with a smile, *Do you really think so*

I said *Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now*

When you are over forty who gives a shit !!

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I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, *Go on then...try*

After about thirty minutes of fondling she began to lose patience and said, *Come on, what day was I born* ??

I said, *On your birthday*

When you are over forty who gives a shit?

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I asked a Prostitute: *How Much For A Hand Job* ??

Lady: *50/- Do You Want One*

I : *No…No, it just makes me happy To Know How Much I Save When I Do It My Self*

*When you are over forty who gives a shit*