This is Rude on a Lot of Different Levels

It is very rude when a lady doesn't respond to an appointment request!

It doesn't happen very often, but it seems to be happening with more frequency. I make an appointment request (through her preferred method) or through P411 (my preferred method).

And she doesn't respond. At all. And I can tell (at least on P411) when it was she last visited the site, so I know she's seen the request. And, if it's through her website, I assume it's set up so she sees it immediately.

Now, it would be nice if the ladies actually had the gumption to reply. Several things: I'm busy then, I don't see guys your age, not just not now, but never. You know, some courtesy response that says look elsewhere. [BTW, some courtesy responses hurt, but at least the response is there. One lady laughed at my request and said "she was booked." Learned my lesson with her.]

Ladies, you have to realize, before requesting an appointment, most guys, me included, have invested a lot of time in researching the field. Getting a "no" is one thing. Hearing deafening silence is quite another.

I have had many a lady express how embarrassed they are to have to tell a guy they don't want to see him or can't make the appointment.

Even more, I have had ladies I have seen several times but who NCNS or last minute cancel on me tell me they are so ashamed that it occurred that they do not want to face me. When I explain that the failure to communicate with me makes it worse, they have no good response. Since I see a lot of true MILFs, in most cases, they had a good enough excuse that I would have easily accepted it. I understand they have family that must come first. Kids in emergency rooms, death of a sister, etc. (And these were verifiable excuses that I did verify.)

Just look at it as you saved yourself from being with a rude person

Happens all the time. Here's why... if they say NO THANK YOU, guys want to know why? They don't want to deal with the WHY.

Trip to Las Vegas, I sent out 9 PM'S. Never heard back from any of them. (No the LV Tour!)

Trip to Nashville, I sent out 5 PM'S. Never heard back from any of them.

I started sending out emails and the batting average went up to 50%. These are the ones that bug the shit out of me. Ask for references. Contact every single one and then you never hear from them.

Recently I had a provider reply to an email from November wanting to know if I was still interested. No explanation why she was just responding. Guess what my reply was? You guessed it... I didn't reply!

I have my 411 profile filled out detailing what exactly I am looking for. When making a request I ask that they view it and let me know if they have any objections. I have had several ladies say "not comfortable with it" or some such thing. No big, I know I am a freak. I think giving them a some info with a built in excuse allows them to bow out gracefully. But not all respond and I agree that it is a PITA. A prompt negative response would allow me to initiate alternative plans on my part.

Still Looking gave a good reason. There have been times I have not replied because references told me something bad, and I am unwilling to explain that. I will never tell a client what a reference warned me about. Also, I've noticed that a LOT of the board members that I have said no to, harbor a grudge. Doesn't matter how nice or mean I was about it, or why I said no, they are so offended at being rejected that they start making little jabs at me on the board, in PM, in chat, etc. Who wants to deal with that? So yes, there are times that I will just not respond. Sometimes it's a judgment call on your maturity level (will he start a smear campaign?), and sometimes it is because I simply cannot think of a way to explain my reasons without compromising myself, or someone else.

Flame away.

Just move on. I have sent pms about availability and not heard back. I ain't losing sleep over it.

Alot of ladies need an assistant. End of story.

You probably do this already or similar/better, but I note their last login date/longin patterns, etc. and if they are infrequent (ECCIE, P411, etc.), then my expectations mirror those patterns. If infrequent, then I will still send a PM, but I'll also send an email (referencing/cut&paste the PM, so they don't ask me for references again in the email). That works 85%-90% of the time for me like a charm.

Now if they are either "online" or recently logged-in and are consistent, then I expect a response and normally do get one within hours, sometimes, within the hour. Most of the time (in my experiences), her TCB will mirror her BCD(experience). So, if TCB isn't great, I won't even care about hearing from her.

silence Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

The Tremeloes - Silence Is Golden

Still Looking gave a good reason. There have been times I have not replied because references told me something bad, and I am unwilling to explain that. I will never tell a client what a reference warned me about. Also, I've noticed that a LOT of the board members that I have said no to, harbor a grudge. Doesn't matter how nice or mean I was about it, or why I said no, they are so offended at being rejected that they start making little jabs at me on the board, in PM, in chat, etc. Who wants to deal with that? So yes, there are times that I will just not respond. Sometimes it's a judgment call on your maturity level (will he start a smear campaign?), and sometimes it is because I simply cannot think of a way to explain my reasons without compromising myself, or someone else.

Flame away. Originally Posted by tracibrooks

This happens all the time; although somewhat rude on their part; I too won't lose any sleep over it. Save that cash for a wonderful lady that does respond and enjoy being with you... What really sucks is when one of your atf's sends you a text letting you know that she gave you a good reference to the said provider and she still dos'nt answer you..... I personally would rather hear them say no thanks im busy; or i'm not interested ..... I would like to think I have never had a provider give me a bad vouch; I have had a few scared off my a ref telling them i was well endowed... I for one do not hold grudges.

I was told that a p411 request is not a confirmed appointment, only a request.

so technically if she doesn't want to respond she doesn't have to, though it would be polite and in good sense to respond to all correspondence that wasn't rude or gross.

But don't lose any sleep over that charles, I'd do you anytime.

Still Looking gave a good reason. There have been times I have not replied because references told me something bad, and I am unwilling to explain that. I will never tell a client what a reference warned me about. Also, I've noticed that a LOT of the board members that I have said no to, harbor a grudge. Doesn't matter how nice or mean I was about it, or why I said no, they are so offended at being rejected that they start making little jabs at me on the board, in PM, in chat, etc. Who wants to deal with that? So yes, there are times that I will just not respond. Sometimes it's a judgment call on your maturity level (will he start a smear campaign?), and sometimes it is because I simply cannot think of a way to explain my reasons without compromising myself, or someone else.

Flame away. Originally Posted by tracibrooks

I've got another one! When the Circus is in town some providers get kind of moody and might not reply!

CT, I feel your pain. Lat week I sent a visiting provider a p411 appt request, an eccie pm requesting an appt, and an email requesting an appt, all sent less than an hour after she posted the ad, and 2 days before her arrival.
No Reply
I sent out another eccie pm, a p411 pm, and another email the day after she arrived.
No Reply
I finally called the number posted in her ad, got her vm, so left a vm.
No Return Call
Yes I felt bad, and kinda pissed too. So I searched her name here, and found a recent post about her.
I'll just say, I'm damn lucky she never responded.

I was under the impression that having a P411 provider's account means that you are a verified, reputable provider. I too have experienced no response from P411 messages, e-mail messages, finally I was able to contact a provider by calling her. Finally able to see her - sent a note by e-mail after our session to thank her. Guess what? No response. Of course, attempting to get an OK from her for our session on P411 is not a possibility. Frustrating... I do my research on this site as well as the other reviewing site - starting from P411 should be a good start, but apparently not. Stay safe and have fun!