Anal virgin

So I came here to eccie to try some fantasy type stuff out. Sex with my wife happens often and us usually decent, but she is usually reserved and vanilla. Tried a few providers and it just didn't click. I either got hard and couldn't cum or couldn't even get hard. Think there is too much subconscious guilt.

Kinda gave up hobbying, but still enjoy the reading.

This weekend my wife kind of seemed less inhibited during sex. We got out some lotion and I rubbed her down front and back. She is very large chest, so we got into some nice Russian while I fingered her. I got in between her legs and rubbed down her inner thighs, pussy then around her ass with lotion, while my dick was halfway in. It drove her nuts, me too for that matter. She pulled my cock out and I pushed her legs way back while I rubbed my shaft and head from her ass to her clit with her help. It was awful slippery down there, and felt fantastic. I probably could have cum from just that alone. I suggested that it was slippery enough, if she wasn't careful it might slide in the wrong hole, hoping she would say she wanted it. She just smiled. I thought for a sec and decided to just try a little and see how she reacted. She seemed to be really into the outer anal stimulation, so I thought it may be a go...wrong! Lol...I just barely slid the head half way in and she pulled back and closed her legs. I just went with it and we kind of both pretended it didn't happen. We finished in missionary and nothing was said about it.

What gives? Felt like it was right. It is tough to talk to her about it, I think she gets embarrassed about it. She has self image issues that hinder a lot of that stuff. How do I break through??

Was a really nice romp either way, just writing about it this morning has made me pretty horny! Lol.....

If it was a pain issue then like any muscle you need to stretch and condition first. A finger, then two, then more, or toys in gradually increasing size. Might be looking at several days before the muscles are limber enough. Giving oral or a vibe during would help with relaxation and positive association which also might help if it's more of a problem with her having negative feeling about anal and less about pain.

Think of learning to do the splits. It takes weeks of gradual, constant stretching to get there, but once you do you can do them then you can do them on command. I think most anyone can learn over time to painlessly insert reasonable size items in there. As to whether they ever find it pleasurable is up to the individual.

But it sounds like she's cool with "Hot Dog on a Bun" that's almost as fun and just a fucking great visual.

Sounds like you two were caught up in a sexual exploration moment. Communication is probably the best answer here, as you said there was no mention of it. Find out what she was thinking and what was going through her mind and build a conversation around that. Respect each others boundaries and keep things safe. The pleasure and the kink is out there and there are no taboo's, only living life to the fullest.....

Thanks, yes hotdog on a bun! Lol. Exactly...it was so hot.

I agree our communication needs to improve greatly. It is hard to discuss things of a sexual nature with her, not sure why. I know she has a kinky side to her, sonewhere, not sure how to bring it out.

Anal sex can really hurt the first time. And the thirtieth, even if you're wanting it and used to it. I KNOW that everyone says that it shouldn't hurt. And it shouldn't.

But even when I have regular sexual intercourse, if the guy is moderately big, it can ouch if I'm not aroused and ready for it. And sometimes, even then!

I know that often men will tell me that they don't feel comfortable talking to their wives about this sort of thing but can you try to? Anal sex is a really wonderful feeling and can be really intense if she reaches an orgasm that way.

But anal sex is also messy and can be embarrassing when well, it gets messy (I'm trying to be really polite here!). And even the most seasoned partner can get a little grossed out if things go in a funky direction, which sometimes happens.

So ... guess what I'm trying to say is that she may be open to such an activity.

Perhaps when you're messing around with her again and things are hot ... start stimulating her again the way that you did before. Slow and steady. Slow. And then slower. And then ask. I'm not a guy and I haven't been married.

But sometimes in the heat of the moment, we ALL do things that we might not have done if an activity had been previously discussed. So it just sounds like you're going in a good direction.

Gosh ... what drivel I wrote! Well, just trying to help!

Thank you, hoping to get some womanly perspective. I agree I thought it would be better to "go there" in the heat of the moment vs talking about it in the car on the way to the grocery store...lol.

Looking forward to going at it again this evening.

It is my opinion that you shouldn't just jump into anal, you want to do ass play for awhile maybe several sessions first. The woman needs to learn to open the inner muscles in there or she will not enjoy the experience. Start slow and remember the words of Dallas: lube is our friend.

Good ideas above. You may also want to check out this excellent reference:

Arouse Her Anal Ecstasy - Revised - The Most Innovative Step-By-Step Guide for Pleasurable Anal Sex. She'll Enjoy Amazing Full-Body Orgasms.

Great responses! And to give you more to think about .. or make you run for the hills ... anal orgasm is really intense. But do you know what is MORE intense?

If once she orgasms that way ... she is also able to have a clitoral orgasm and if she's lucky and CAN have orgasms through intercourse, that as well.

Then ... wow. Just thinking about that makes me want to take a nap and purr!!!

Thank all of you who have replied. Looking forward to this evening!

I just glanced at some of the responses, so I don't know if this topic was brought up. Never, EVER switch places, from back to front! You need to be very careful with that. The first time I tried it I was in my early 20's and had no idea what we were doing. We stupidly went back and forth and I got a very nasty infection! A woman's body is very sensitive and the slightest thing can throw off her intimate balance.
Be safe and enjoy exploring her body!