I used to listen to Wash Allen's show where people would write letters looking to get advice on any number of topics. Wash would read the letters on air and then ask his callers (also known as sooth sayers) to chime in and advise. It was the best show ever. One guy that used to call himself the Black Lamb (i actually knew him) was particularly vicious and mean spirited in his advice and Wash had a disdain for him but still allowed him to call in.
So now I need the Eccie Soooth Sayers to give me advice. My issue is as follows:
I'm madly in love with 7 different women. They're all uniquely different but unfortunately I dont live in a polygamous society and someday soon before the return of our lord and savior I want to settle down and who knows maybe get married with a prenup in place of course.
One girl is a provider, one a stripper, one a vets assistant, one a lawyer, one an aspiring liberal journalist, one is a current housewife, and the last one is a college student that plays softball.
They range in ages 23-36; various races, all petite with beautiful smiles. The craziest one is the liberal journalist but shes the one I have the most in common with from a conversation perspective. The most loyal and grounded is the provider. The neediest is the vet assistance, the most fun and outgoing is the lawyer and stripper, the one that makes me smile the most is the college girl.
I'm torn and sad as fuck because I dont know what decision to make. I usually know these things but it's hard I'm human too. I love them all and I want to continue having my cake and eating it too. But can I? Most women wont go for this kind of behavior and I'm also aware the lord will be returning soon and he wont let me keep them all.
Signed,
Dazed and Confused.