Providers Giving Other Providers References

If this question to all you wonderful providers has been asked before, then I apologize for bringing it up again (I couldn't find a thread about it). As a little background prior to the question, I know the nature of human beings. We ALL have some form of jealosy, whether we repress it or not. Admit it - Deep down we do, regardless of how much we try to deny it.


So, if another provider emails you asking for a reference on a client, doesn't it at least make you wonder "Why didn't he just call ME again? Did I do something wrong? Did I not satisfy him enough to make me his ATF forever?"

Seriously, y'all - doesn't this at least cross your mind at some point, at least briefly?

I'm mostly wondering how honest you are, as a provider, when it comes to giving good references about clients to other providers. Comment away!!! Thanks.
pyramider's Avatar
Most of the ladies know that the fucktards wander the earth looking for taint. They also know that others have taint, too.

I have never had an issue with a lady supplying a reference on me. I thinck they are ecstatic that I am visiting others and no longer bothering them.
tia travels's Avatar
If I were not a traveling lady and had a base city I might wonder. But it doesn't bother me in the least as I don't return to some cities for months inbetween, so I wouldn't expect most to be waiting for just me. I know a man has "needs"...and thus he's not going to wait 3 months til I return. But when they do, it gives me the warm fuzzies all over.

Actually, since I've been around a little bit, I don't think it would bother me that much anyway if I just worked out of one base city because I now know that a lot of gents prefer variety. I've come to accept that fact.
Brooke Wilde's Avatar
Never has and never will. I actually get a little creeped out when a guy wants to see me and only me.

The only person these men owe any loyality to are their wives and they ain't loyal to them, so why in the hell should some "provider" expect him to be loyal to her?
Old-T's Avatar
  • Old-T
  • 11-09-2012, 11:51 PM
That is why I try to use ladies from other cities as references. Even if they give me a clean reference and even if won't say anything to me I have to believe they are sometimes thinking just what you say.
Ms.Lady Y's Avatar
Never has and never will. I actually get a little creeped out when a guy wants to see me and only me.

The only person these men owe any loyality to are their wives and they ain't loyal to them, so why in the hell should some "provider" expect him to be loyal to her? Originally Posted by Brooke Wild
+1
Variety is the spice of life so I more than understand when someone wants to see another or I just wasn't his taste.

I do have to admit when my ATF ask for a reference I feel a little tug - I know he likes to sample others BUT he does comes back to see me.

There is no way I will not give a reference for anyone as the name of the game is to keep all of us safe. I tell my guys that a reputable provider will always check references, so please make sure they do.
sexuser's Avatar
Anyone who reads this view can think whatever they want about what I have presented here, but I do think there are some valid documented points, which I have cited sources.

Yes as a guy, variety is nice in the world of hobbying.

I have thought about this very topic myself. In fact I felt embarrassed talking about this to a provider once. I know that providers will refer hobbyists to other providers. But I felt funny about what a provider that I may have seen with any regularity would think about my wanting them to give a referral of me to another provider.

Her response was “I’m not your wife.” It didn’t seem to bother her at all that I wanted to see other providers. She didn’t question my motives whatsoever. It’s just that I felt that a provider might think that I was: no longer interested in her, that something about her services was lacking in some way, or even that she was losing a “sale” to someone else. Yet, I remained consistent in seeing them again and again despite seeing other providers as well. That was seemingly due to my becoming good friends with them and perceiving them as not just “service providers”, but as people too. And, that she could possibly reciprocate appreciation to any given hobbyist for their “loyalty” to them with some degree of sincerity. Presentation, attitude, overall service satisfaction, and value perceived by a consumer for a given provider, can carry a great amount of influence.

Then of course you have provider reviews by hobbyists or the thought of providers rating or reviewing hobbyists, which is a whole other thread topic that could be discussed here. But I will leave it alone for my purposes.

This can be as a result of accommodating and compatible personalities between particular hobbyists and providers; a genuine “ mutual liking of each other,” if you will, or not, if things don’t work out well for either or both parties.

The comment about hobbyists not being loyal to their wives isn’t quite accurate in my mind. Loyalty to one’s spouse vs. infidelity for whatever reason doesn’t always fit the profile. You could look at it the same way from the other side with women having affairs against their husbands. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are no longer loyal to their spouse.

In the same way something can be said about “loyalty” to a particular provider by a hobbyist or vice versa.

I recently wrote a research paper for a class in customer service about the power of Word of Mouth (WOM) or “Buzz” as it relates to business and marketing strategies for a business, product manufacturer, or service provider‘s ability to retain the maximum number of satisfied consumers as possible. Generally, it is easier and less costly to retain a current customer than it is to successfully attract and win over a new one, after losing a dissatisfied customer.

In my research for this project I found the following information.

WOMMA, the Word Of Mouth Marketing Association, identifies WOM as having five basic principles. Rosen, (2000) and WOMMA (2010) share the idea of the first principle, “credibility” (Rosen p. 89, WOMMA, n.p.). This means that a company, product, or service provider is dependable, legitimate, or bona fide. WOM must also be “respectful” in providing privacy of various product brands and service types relative to the customers using them. Third, brands enter the picture through online and offline interpersonal communication (being connected), (Berry & Keller, 2003, p.31). People engage by promoting, taking part in, paying attention and reciprocating to “conversations” about products, services, or providers. Next, the buzz must be measurable. Entrepreneurs collect and analyze data to evaluate the success or failure of their particular commodity or resource, which they offer. Finally, WOM must be “repeatable.” This answers the businessperson’s question: Will customers continue to consistently use “my” product or service? (WOMMA, 2010, n.p.).

This last statement leads to another concept that Lawfer (2004), shares with WOMMA and addresses in his book. This is how a marketer attempts to understand the relationship between loyalty and advocacy in terms of the inherent value yielded from his or her customers (p. 22). Loyalty refers to an allegiance given by consumers to their favorite business or service provider, by going back again and again; simply because the company, product, or service is viewed as the best overall in its particular category (WOMMA.2010).

Advocacy means supporting someone or something through continuous personal dedication of what he or she stands for or has to offer. Value can be construed as reaping the benefits of customer loyalty and advocacy. Lawfer (2004) argues that consumer loyalty and advocacy is the best form of advertising, because it potentially does not cost the company or service provider anything. The quality and value, of what has been provided to the customer by a product or service provider, have essentially paid for themselves through advocacy and loyalty; thus giving value back to the proprietors (p.22).

Some consumers will stay loyal to only one business, product, or service provider, simply because of a proven track record of consistent satisfaction even with occasional deviations from one’s “Usual” business, product, or provider choice whatever their motivation. That should be a good thing. But, in this “Hobby”, such “Loyalty” can possibly be viewed negatively. Which has its validity as well, as expressed by Ms. Lady Y.
Thank You

References

Berry, J. & Keller, E. (2003). One American in ten tells the other nine how to vote, where to eat, and what to buy. They Are: The Influentials. New York. Free Press. (Print). 2, 31-32, 36, 38, 39, 42, 44, 52, 58, 63-64, 71, 124, 137

Dent, J. (Director). 28 November, 2011. “WOMMA Defines WOMM”. WOMMA.ORG. (Video).
HTTP://www.WOMMAORG

Lawfer, M. (2004). Why Customers Come Back: How to Create Lasting Customer Loyalty.
E-book. The Career Press. 22
Retrieved from: HTTP://web.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.mccneb.edu

Rosen, E. (2000). The Anatomy of Buzz: How to Create Word of Mouth Marketing . New York. Doubleday.
Print. 7, 31, 34-39, 43, 49-50, 89-90, 136-137
  • Sami
  • 11-10-2012, 10:04 AM
No way... I and many others get that this is a hobby & you guys like variety. Do we get regulars yes, but even those see other ladies. If any lady thinks the men are seeing them and them only well she is deluding herself.

I like a variety of spice as many men do!
  • Laz
  • 11-10-2012, 11:38 AM
In my case seeing only one provider would risk emotional entanglements that would be unwelcome for the provider. Seeing more than one helps me keep the proper perspective. I have no SO so it is not about being faithful.
Cpalmson's Avatar
Very interesting topic. I would sorta tend to agree with the OP on this. I think at some level there is probably a degree of latent jealousy especially if a guy both girls "operate" in the same location. Personally, I'm sensitive to this. I actually tell a provider that I have a personal rule of waiting 2 months before repeating or seeing at least 2 other providers before seeing her again. I don't want them to see reviews of other girls and wonder why I didn't call back for a repeat session.
No way... I and many others get that this is a hobby & you guys like variety. Do we get regulars yes, but even those see other ladies. If any lady thinks the men are seeing them and them only well she is deluding herself.
Originally Posted by Sami
Am with Sami 100%
I agree Brooke...the only time it has crossed my mind was when a gent said he was crazy about me and wanted to make me his outside lady - being that he preferred to see just one provider...nxt day he calls asking me to look up info on another provider he was going to see...lol. I didn't take it personal however.
As long as the lady is a verifiable 'real' provider
i don't have a problem giving a reference as i'm a team player and it
doesn't bother me at all. I'm 100percent reference friendly!
Jealous ???? NO not at all. In this arena it is no room for jealousy.
If a provider is feeling some sort of jealousy about giving a reference
she is not a PROfessional IMO and needs to hang up her stilettos
and move on far away from this corner of the world.
It doesn't bother me because men are bigger whores than women lmao!

And didn't your mama teach you to share?