Singalong time, boys and girls:
Fancy's Condom Song (to the tune of Nat King Cole's "L-O-V-E")
C is for the clap you gave to me.
O is for the oath I shouted angrily.
N is for the no I should have said.
D is for being really dumb in bed.
O is for the oozing that I see.
M is for the moaning when I pee.
Condoms are what I'll always give to you
before we play that naughty game for two.
No frets as we get down and dirty doing it
but be sure that rubber will correctly fit.
Condoms were made for you and me.