Don't Try This at Home

A young country boy married a girl from the city and was taking her out to her new home on the farm. They were enjoying the ride in a wagon pulled by a mule when suddenly the mule stopped and refused to take another step. The farm boy called out to the mule, "That's once!". With that, the mule went on another half-mile and stopped again. The farm boy jumped off the wagon, grabbed a 3 ft long 2"X4" out of the wagon and began to "massage" the mule's head with the wood. After about 5 minutes, the boy jumped back into the wagon, yelled, "Giddy-up" and off they went. The new bride was absolutely horrified at the events and told the farm boy in no uncertain terms she would not give herself to a man who was so cruel to animals. The boy glared at his new bride a few moments then said, "That's once".

Like-What makes your wife hot?
Wiping my dick on the drapes after we are finished.

That's the old joke about the Brit, the Frenchman, and Texas talking about what their women enjoy:

Brit -- She loves the cane, makes her gush
Frechman -- Rose petals in the bed take her to heaven
Texan -- I wipe my dick on the curtains, drives her absolutely fucking nuts . . .

Or the old Southern joke:

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin', you did done tole' her twice."

Old southern song"She broke my heart so I broke her jaw"

Old southern song"She broke my heart so I broke her jaw" Originally Posted by i'va biggen

"She got the gold, I got the shaft" a song written by Tim Dubois, a guy I worked with in college.

He also wrote "Love in the first degree" and just retired from being the producer for Brooks and Dunn

I love being single. LOL!