What happened to the flowers?

I was reading the thread about bringing drinks into session and it got me to thinking...

The hobby has changed a lot even in the last few years since I have been around.

Long gone are the days when my incall was filled with fresh flowers from clients. Hell I used to have more flowers than I had vases for.

I remember when I first started, Even on BP Guys would almost always bring a small and thoughtful gift whether it would be flowers, candy, a bottle of wine, a nice thoughtful card, or a gift card. Some would actually take the time to read my showcase to see what my likes or dislikes were or remembered something I mentioned during session, and bring something that would make me smile big.

Receiving those little gifts would always make me feel awesome. Yes they were not expensive gifts all the time but the fact that they did something to make me feel special was all that mattered to me.

I have talked to a few other providers about this and they all have said that those days are long gone for them also...

I am just wondering what happened to the romance part of this hobby?? Where have all the BFE guys gone? Did ungrateful providers ruin it for the rest of us??

By no means am I saying this is a requirement or saying that I am disappointed if someone does not bring anything. I am just saying that that used to be one of my favorite parts of the hobby. Every woman loves to feel special even if it is for an hour at a time

Jules, I always like to try and bring a smile to the ladies, and whether it be a bouquet of flowers or something else I know the ladies appreciate it. Heck yesterday, when I went to visit my favorite AMP lady, I had a bouquet of flowers and two Domino's pizza's. If LE was watching, I wonder if they thought I was the pizza delivery guy or the guy delivering flowers. LOL

Jules, I always like to try and bring a smile to the ladies, and whether it be a bouquet of flowers or something else I know the ladies appreciate it. Heck yesterday, when I went to visit my favorite AMP lady, I had a bouquet of flowers and two Domino's pizza's. If LE was watching, I wonder if they thought I was the pizza delivery guy or the guy delivering flowers. LOL Originally Posted by cubsoxbull

haha That is AWESOME what a way to confuse them just in case

Great Post Jules. I can understand where you are coming from. I have had the pleasure of recieving gifts from clients and it does make you feel special, and even more grateful for their visit! Gratitude is a very important thing for providers and hobbyist to show towards one another it keeps things good for everyone aboard.

Did ungrateful providers ruin it for the rest of us?? Originally Posted by Jules Jaguar

This.

One lady long ago even told me to instead just give her the $'s I spent on flowers for her.

In other scenarios some ladies may interpret a small gift as a indication that a guy is expecting more. I.e. only a "girlfriend/wife" should get.

Finally nothing takes the buzz out of a good meeting then leaving your hotel room and seeing the single red rose you gave in the trash can.

Finally nothing takes the buzz out of a good meeting then leaving your hotel room and seeing the single red rose you gave in the trash can. Originally Posted by Hercules

Ouch! That hurts.

LOL! I brought a book... tee hee!

Thank you Jules for the wake-up call. I used to bring something to every session (and those special days with my SO) even if it was just a carefully selected candy treat. We tend to get in a rut and the little nice things drop by the wayside.

I'm getting my SO something special today just because of your reminder. If I disappear from the board, it will be because the shock aroused her suspicions. You'll find me in the obits in that case.

Thank you for reminding us not to get so caught up on ourselves we forget those who are special to us - you ladies included.

LOL! I brought a book... tee hee!

Originally Posted by SD2011

I fucking LOVE books! #jealous

I think it is harder to give gifts lately. Most men aren't into this for more than the one hour activity list.

Those that DO want to keep a girls attention longer than the hour often tend to bring something special. There are still some out in the verse...

Fav gifts for me recently -
-$10 socks. thigh high and fucking amazing! I be Jammin!
-a 10$ plastic figurine that sits on my mantle- reminds me of a special time I shared with someone.
-a $30 goldfish necklace for celebrating an achievement of mine. Blurb Blurb Blurb!
-a stock of coffee and tea YUM, especially since we share it together mostly.
-an extra bill$ tossed my way "for thrifting" (I bought so many damn thrift shirts!)
-new guts for my beast machine. *jilling off*

I often don't find much value in gifts given to me on the first meeting, unless they are a bit more thoughtful than flowers. Then again, I am not in this for the one hour activity list either lately.

Guys deep down like treating a chicka special. They want to please us and feel special or desired in return. We want to feel valued as well beyond the fleshdoll.

Side note- if a girl keeps a small gift list, with things ranging from $5-100... (books being my fav thing) I find those things tend to show up more than not.

Wanna know the hard part... giving gifts in return.. What the fuck can we send with you that you can take home or leave on your desk at work, without raising eyebrows? My go to, is lunch. If I really like ya, I will buy you lunch.

Your post caught my eye, Jules, because this has been my "thing" from almost day one (being in the hobby). Over the years I've made a habit of bringing flowers....or a nice bottle of wine or a premium bottle of liquor....Godiva chocolates....or a gift card. And sometimes a combo of those items if she's an ATF. I know it's appreciated by whomever I'm seeing.

I know this isn't a "dating service" however I do try to do my part in "romancing" the session up from the very moment the door is opened to me. I did have one provider question this approach once (kinda got the Vivian / Pretty Woman quip that "she was a sure thing....so why was I going thru all the trouble?") I didn't let that response ruin the session for me....I just figured she'd never been given a gift prior to a session and that she was simply surprised and did not know how to say Thanks (other than f*ck my brains out.)

So as long as girls show their appreciation, I'll continue this practice.

I adore white daisies.....but they are hard to find...so when a guy brings them,it is such a treat!

I see gifts as a special treat that helps "break the ice" before a session...some guys are so thoughtful!

There is one guy on here who is an atf....he will send me a gift card for Vicky's Secret once in awhile....just because/not because we have played lately.He is so thoughtful & sweet!

Last week for my birthday I recieved 3 six packs of coke in the old fashioned bottle in one day!

Jules---what are your fave flowers??

LOL! I brought a book... tee hee!

Originally Posted by SD2011

The question is, did she read it during the session?

Before we met I had noticed she's very visual. I thought it might be something to make her smile. I'm a southern guy, I usually always bring something. Even something simple is better than nothing. Given a gal is about to share herself with me in a most personal and intimate way it just seems like a decent thing to do.

This is sort of the flip side of why providers dress nicely on the first date but look like they're going to Walmart on subsequent meetings.

Flowers wither and die, and with them, the memories of the occasion can, too.

I've almost given up on gifts for two reasons, First, I don't think they're appreciated. Or at least the recipients don't indicate that they're appreciated. Someone I know has a remarkable ability to convince the giver that the gift was exactly what she needed, wanted, or that she's otherwise delighted with it. I wouldn't expect anyone else to go that far, but a "thank you" and a hug to show some appreciation for the thought means a lot. (One other way to show appreciation is to wear the gift either immediately or the next time you see a client. A lady I saw recently put on a short robe I gave her last Christmas, and noted that it was my gift. I was amazed and very happy that she remembered something like that so long after it happened.)

Second, I like my gifts to be something special. I mean, I figure a girl that I see probably has a cabinet full of whatever is on her list: perfume, wine, chocolate, vibrators, garter belts, handcuffs, etc. Getting something that stands out -- and that also doesn't suggest to her that all I'm interested in is sex -- is difficult. Most recently, I brought doggie treats and a liqueur. The former, at least, was reported to be a hit.

This year, for Christmas, I'm thinking about gift cards to a nice restaurant -- Ruth's Chris or Del Frisco's, maybe -- for a couple of lady friends and their SOs or BFFs or whoever.

As far as gifts for the client, it's like I keep telling my wife: Women don't have to buy a guy anything to make them happy -- a hint that falls on deaf ears and that probably isn't practical for the hobby anyway. But lunch is good. I need a break from brown-bagging.

This.

One lady long ago even told me to instead just give her the $'s I spent on flowers for her.

In other scenarios some ladies may interpret a small gift as a indication that a guy is expecting more. I.e. only a "girlfriend/wife" should get.

Finally nothing takes the buzz out of a good meeting then leaving your hotel room and seeing the single red rose you gave in the trash can. Originally Posted by Hercules

Jules - house plants on your P411 profile if I remember correctly. I wanted to get you a plant when we met but couldn't find a place as my shopping time for that kind of thing is limited due to SO. You seem like someone that would appreciate that. You're sincere, sadly not many are.

To Herc's point - I used to bring flowers (they sell them in the lobby of my office) and was told twice in the future just give them the money and also told twice that with the lady being in a hotel they asked what the heck they were supposed to do with them as other guys would be upset knowing another guy got them to her. Only had two providers appreciate them so I figured I'll wait to get to know her before I bring anything.

LOVE the BFE comment - I'd love that.