Every time Pinocchio and his girl would would make love his girl would complain about splinters. "OK, I'll go talk to my maker Gipetto and see if he has any remedies.". So Pinocchio went down to meet Gipetto and explained his problem. "I have an easy solution Pinocchio." Gipetto said. "Sandpaper!".
"That's all,Sandpaper?" Pinocchio said in amazement. "OK I'll try it".
Next day Gipetto see's Pinocchio walking down the sidewalk. "Pinocchio, hows making love with the girl going now?". "Who needs girls!!".