How many ways are there to say...

terrier16973479's Avatar
I got fitted for contacts recently, so when I go diving I can see clearly again...
That made me think of a phrase for cunnilingus I hadn't heard in a while...
A friend of mine a long time ago used to tell his wife - in front of company he had over - that he was going to get his mask, fins, and snorkel out...
Both him and his wife would laugh, especially if someone didn't get it.
That made me want to ask, besides hobby terminology, how many phrases there might be for that activity?
And what are some of the funniest - either funny-stange, or funny-haha, you have heard?
It also occurred to me that I can also wear my contacts during sex, and avoid that moment of truth - when sex really begins for a couple who wears glasses: when the glasses come off!
My contacts are bifocals, and I wonder, will I need to think: Caution - objects may appear to be closer (and larger) than they actually are!
Anyway, what are some of the funniest phrases you've heard for cunnilingus?