The Husband Store: A Story

ICU 812's Avatar
Someone sent me this and I nearly fell out of my chair . . .you gotta go allthe way down to get it.



A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

'That's nice'... she thinks, '...but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

'Wow', she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with housework.

"Oh, mercy me!", she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a 'New Wives Store' just across the street.

Floor 1 - has wives that love sex.

Floor 2 - has wives that love sex, have money, and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors
have never been visited.




Now that was funny!

I would have stopped at floor 3. Lmao
shit i would have settled for floor 2, but would of be curious about 3, then maybe 4, ok ok i would of had to exit without one.....DAMM!!!!
onehitwonder's Avatar
Damn. I thought that was for real! I was fixin' to pack up and move to New York.........
Heck yea...
ThatManFromTexas's Avatar
Men are simple folks...
LOL, I like that pic TMFT. Change that Coors to a Crown and Coke and she'll really have me.
Gotta love it.
Men are simple folks... Originally Posted by ThatManFromTexas
If you shake it up vigorously before opening, it will squirt!
And as a bonus, it tastes great AND is less filling!
boardman's Avatar
Men are simple folks... Originally Posted by ThatManFromTexas
Q: What do Coors Light and sex in a canoe have in common.

A: They're both fuckin' near water.
ThatManFromTexas's Avatar
Q: What do Coors Light and sex in a canoe have in common.

A: They're both fuckin' near water. Originally Posted by boardman
I had a saloon at one point in my life and I rented out the apartment upstairs for providers incall... never could make a profit... too much fucking overhead ...
Eccie Addict's Avatar
oh you are all killing me. this thread gets better and better. lmao
sabre692's Avatar
I'd change that Coors into a Shiner Bock but as the saying goes, "Don't look at a gift horse in the mouth".